All Comments on 'Erotic Oil Battle Ch. 02'

The plot potential here was extremely erotic. I love stories where there is some sort of competition but you rushed through this story. There should have been so much more involved with the wrestling match and then the ultimate sexual encounter was simply two guys pushing into the girl. I get excited when I write my stories and then just plow right through to the sex yet those are my worst stories. Again, a great premise but just take your time and you'll score 5s everytime.

By the way what was up with putting part 1 in into part 2?

with Barno. This story needs a bit of reworking, perhaps adding a little more of a plot - for example maybe Michelle is annoyed that the two guys so blatantly think they can score with her, and tries to drive them off with the "erotic oil battle" which, obviously, fails. Also, more description of the sex (sight, sound, smell, but especially feeling) would be really great. Just throwing out that "she had four orgasms" not only rushes things but ends things needlessly. I will say that I especially liked the last little bit where the two men were looking into each others' eyes. Finally, if you're going to rewrite a story, I wouldn't call it "chapter 2" of the same story you already wrote. But keep working - you're already 100% better than a lot of other writers who submit stories here.

Cumfusion? What a queer. All of your stories are about faggots pretending to like girls. Fag.