Et Sidste Kys: The Last Kiss Ch. 01

"I didn't know you could dance like this!" She said as she tried to keep up with me, but I was going too fast, faster than normal since I was still a little nervous around her.

"Oh yeah, you remember Estella? From the hospital?" She nodded. "She taught me how to move, I know how to do the foxtrot, mambo, tango, and the jitter bug...right now, I'm doing a little of each." I looked like a total dork probably, but Jessica didn't exactly know the steps to all the dances I was doing like Estella did. Estella would've told me to stop dancing like a fool and do it like she'd taught me how, but Jessica wasn't complaining at all, in fact, she seemed mightily impressed when I did the dipping move and brought her back up quickly. I'd learned the move from Estella and had learned how to hold my balance, since Estella wasn't exactly as light as my sister was, so the practice I'd had with Estella was simple when I tried on Jessica.

"Whoa!" Jessica's hair fell in to her face and she quickly pushed it away and back behind her shoulder. I'd dipped her probably too quickly than normal since she had to grab on to my shoulders to keep from becoming disoriented. We danced a little more energetically before the song ended and a much slower one came on so we could catch our breath again.

I placed my hands around her hips, holding her gently and softly, trying to not let her know that my hands were sweating profusely. She didn't seem to notice or mind as she put her own arms around my neck and we began to move in rhythm with the music.

"You look good in your dress." I told her. It was the honest truth and I remembered Estella's advice when dancing with women, keep you eyes at their face, not down below. Doing so made her warm up to me more and she would smile at me every once in a while and I finally felt as if we were becoming brother and sister again. "Hmmm, you dance well." I murmured to her as I felt her hip move from side to side in my hands. That was another thing Estella taught me, compliment a girl and make her feel important. But I would've complimented her even if Estella hadn't told me to. Jessica deserved compliments and I wondered how her ex-boyfriend, Dan, had gotten the idea to dump such a remarkable girl.

I suddenly noticed that Jessica had since closed her eyes, but it was not because she felt sleepy, she liked dancing with me and I did what I'd seen the guys on television do when they were dancing with a girl. I laid my chin on her shoulder and got closer to her, letting my hair run against her cheek softly.

We danced for at least two songs, seven minutes, but neither of us felt the urge to move faster since the song's tempo changed. The songs to me were merely background noise to our dancing. I was so close to her that I could feel her breath on my neck and her heartbeat through both of our clothes.

All of sudden, I felt my stomach tighten and I had to let her go, realizing that we were barely moving together by now and yet, I still wanted to keep dancing close to her. But, before I knew it, she leaned in, closed her eyes, and we kissed. It surprised me slightly since it was my first real kiss, with my sister, but a real kiss regardless.

"No," She gasped suddenly and pushed me away. She turned quickly and hurried out of the room, leaving me extremely confused. I wanted to go after her, but when I heard her bedroom door close, I knew I had made a big mistake. I stayed in the living room on the dance floor for a few minutes, unknowing what to do next when I switched off the CD player and walked towards her room. I wanted to apologize and tell her I was sorry that I got carried away. She'd just been a girl that I'd felt something for, but she was my sister. No one had ever told me that kissing your sister intimately was wrong since I barely saw her from the time I was seven years old to the time I was eighteen.

When I got to her door, I hesitated outside and listened intently for the sounds of gagging or coughing from revulsion as a result of our kiss, but I heard nothing else than a groan as I knocked on the door. "Can I...come in?" I asked quietly when she opened the door. I was trying not to look up at her face, scared that I would find regret...or worse, anger. "I'm...I'm sorry...about what I did...all of it...I just got a little carried away." I said and hung my head down, shamed that I'd done something that was so wrong. But had I known before that I wasn't supposed to kiss my sister, I would've never done it in the first place. Believe me, it was never my intention to kiss her, it was to show her somehow that I'd missed her so much, but the way I'd showed her had gotten out of hand.

"It's all right," Jessica said quietly. I saw her looking down at me with sympathetic eyes, but I was still too nervous to look at her fully and caught a glance through the corner of my eyes. "I know you've never been..."

I knew what was coming next, she would tell me the thing I knew already. I was a virgin in so many aspects and the fair reason for me asking out her best friend, Kaliegh, was that I wanted a chance to show that I could love someone strongly, since I'd never gotten the chance to pursue or even attempt to love someone in the hospital. Sometimes I felt so empty lying in the hospital bed, I was so lonely that there was one time that no one came in my hospital room for hours and I contemplated on unplugging my oxygen machine and ending my retched and lonely life. But Jessica...she saved me in some sense, I'd said then that if no one called or came in to my room in the next three hours, I would do it, having the thought that if no one really cared enough about me to call or visit me, then what was the point of taking up space? But a call came in the last twenty minutes and after talking to Jessica for a bit, I realized that I was being idiotic and impetuous, and never allowed myself to have the thought of taking my life since. Even though the conversation was nothing special and seemed awkward, even knowing that our parents had probably forced her to make, I cried and when I sniffled, she asked me what was wrong, I told her it was just a side effect of the chemotherapy treatments, and she believed me, but I never told anyone my real reason for living my life past that depressing time, but it was because of Jessica.

"I'm really sorry, it's just that you looked so pretty." I replied, not wanting to leave her with the nervousness I felt. I brought my head up and looked at her, searching for something that would tell me that she didn't hate me now.

"Thank you." She answered and smiled a little and tucked her hair behind her ears. I had eased her tension from our earlier indiscretion and she seemed to want to explain her actions as much as I wanted to. "But we weren't supposed to do that."

"I know, I know...it's just that..." I paused, I didn't really plan on having a reason to tell her why I'd kissed her. It had just felt good and seemed like the right thing to do, the wrong thing, but somehow right in some way.

"What? What's wrong?" She asked suddenly, sitting down on the bed a little ways away from me.

"Well, I'm eighteen years old, never kissed a girl, never been with a girl, never even touched one who wasn't bathing me." I rambled too much. In hindsight, I never meant to reveal so much to Jessica, but everything just seemed to tumble out of my mouth without restraint. "And I...I...just don't want to die a virgin."

I did in fact know what I was dying. I had refused treatment for the brain cancer and the only result of that is surely death, but I didn't want to have the pain of chemotherapy ever again and I figured that I'd feel much better for a shorter amount of time, rather than crappy for a longer period of time.

"I...hummm." The result of my impulsiveness had made her uncomfortable, I could feel it in her voice, but thankfully, she didn't tell me to leave. "Well, it's-it's...all right."

"I will never feel a girl in my life probably and kiss only one...you." I said to her, I had meant it to make her laugh and break the awkwardness between us, but she didn't smile back at me. There was nothing to laugh about or even smile about in her eyes.

"What do you mean in your life? You have plenty of time to meet—."

I stood up and rubbed my hand through my hair in a frustrated manner. She either didn't get that I was dying or she was in denial about the whole thing. "You don't have to say it...I know I'm dying, I just wish I had more time, there is so much I wanted to do, but most of it will not be done." I turned away from her and tried to hide my urge to cry. I hated to think about death and was afraid a little...just a little though, that my life would end much sooner than most people's. I felt cheated and deceived by god himself, and I had thought—deluded myself—that he would make me have such a terrible affliction and anger because I was somehow special, but that it would eventually end someday. But it hadn't yet; everything had stayed with me, even when I left the hospital.

"What do you mean? You're not..." Jessica stammered, unsure of what to say to make me feel better. She made the valiant effort to try, but there was nothing that no one could say or tell me that would've changed my outlook at that moment. "Well, I..." She tried to say something after I raised my hand to tell her to cease in trying to comfort me, it would do no good. But I didn't want her to feel that I disliked her in any way by telling her to stop. After a moment of silence, I spoke again...feeling the overwhelming urge to leave and rid myself from her guilt-giving gaze, even though she looked at me softly, trying to understand what I was going through.

"It's just...oh, what am I saying, I'm sorry," I turned to leave and ran right in to her desk that I hadn't realized I was next to until it was too late and fell to the ground with a throbbing, sharp pain in my knee and shin. "Jesus!" I said in a frustrated and angry voice. I hated my body when I felt pain. It took over me and refused to release me until I thought I couldn't take anymore and grew to hate myself, even though I had no reason to. She bent down to me, trying to help, but I pushed her away. I didn't want anyone to help me. I didn't want them to see me when I had pain, when I couldn't move, when I was sick, because then they would only give me medicine or try to comfort me and none of it really worked fast enough.

I sobbed like when I was a seven-year-old. I felt hopeless and that my life was my own private torture. I was ashamed that I cried but whom was I kidding? Estella's words were all lies anyway, like the time she told me I was going to get better, it was all just lies. I crawled to my feet after a few minutes, seeing Jessica's face that was a mixed combination of someone scared and sad, and I turned to leave, making sure I was well away from the desk, when Jessica grabbed me and kissed me. I didn't try to wipe the tears away from my eyes and felt them run in to Jessica's cheeks and mine and my hands moved to embrace her closer. I still felt terrible, but Jessica wanted to take me away from my pain and I still don't remember what I was thinking at the moment we fell on to her bed, but I do remember feeling the depression and sadness leave to give way to anxiousness and something I'd never felt before. She let me unzip her dress and then took off the thin straps and let me see her breasts.

I'd seen breasts before on cable television but to see them in real life...they looked so soft and even though they were only simple lumps of skin and muscles, I couldn't hide the fact that seeing them with my own eyes produced a completely different emotion than the arousal I would've normally felt. I brought my hands up to touch them, wondering if I was actually seeing them with my own eyes or if everything was just a dream, but as I felt the nipples brush and push in to the skin of my hand, I knew everything was real from the moan that Jessica let out.

Jessica stopped me for a moment, stood up and took off her dress, and showed me her panties and then she came to me, letting my hands remove them themselves. I could see a small patch of jet-black colored hair near the lower center of her body that matched the hair on her head. Her whole body seemed to be conducive to eroticism. She was absolutely sexy in my observation and she held something about her that entranced me and mystified me to the point of a nervous pang in my abdomen. She moved closer and I gently felt her fall to the bed and I began kissing her again, this time the side and back of her neck, smelling a weird girly scent that made me slightly dizzy. I looked at her body in the dark, letting my eyes drink in the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen before me. I wanted to make sure she would have no regrets about what I wanted to do. I was much too shy to ask her if she wanted to have sex, but it seemed implied, but I still wanted to make sure that she wouldn't think of it as a mistake afterwards. After all, seeing someone you love in one way will bring about different emotions than seeing someone you love in another, much like love between a boyfriend and girlfriend, sexual intercourse was to strengthen lovable bonds.

"Are you...sure you want to do this?" I asked, feeling nervous that she might say no, and tell me to get off of her and leave...leaving me with regret that would be so strong that I would never again be able to look her in the face.

"Yes." She replied after what felt like a very long time, even though it was probably only a few seconds. She grabbed my hand and held it closer to her body, telling me silently that she actually wanted me. I kissed her softly and then moved to her breasts. Like I said before, I was a virgin so I really didn't know what more I could do. She would tell me, I was sure, what I was to do, but there were things I felt would've been right and things that would've been wrong. I sucked on her breasts, hearing her moan out, "Ooh, yessss." I felt her hands on my head a moment later and felt her body rising and falling with my licking and she seemed to be genuinely enjoying what I was doing.

While I was using my mouth to lick and suck on her nipple, one of my hands were holding the side of her body for stability and the other was venturing down to the middle wet spot between her legs. I rubbed my fingers up and down, letting them explore what I had only dreamed about in a quiet hospital room before. The soft flesh was growing more lubricated with each pass of my fingers near the top of her pussy and she suddenly let go of my head and her body thrust, wanting my fingers to touch the one spot she'd liked. "Oh my God!" She shouted as her body jumped. I increased the force on my fingers and she panted more and more until she stopped suddenly with her mouth open and her body shook and shivered slightly at first and then harder and harder. "Oh, I'm going to cummmmm!" The bed we were both on shook as if we were in an earthquake. She was still panting when I withdrew my fingers from her hot and soaked pussy and curiously let my tongue touch the liquid that coated my fingers and hand and found it to be sweet and strong smelling.

"Oh my God...how...how did you know...how...to do..."

I looked at her and smiled, there had been a cable television show on how about five years ago, before cable became somewhat censored and I watched with fascination as a man brought a woman to orgasm by simply moving his finger inside the woman's legs.

"I had cable when I was in the hospital and watched it almost all day...they had some good shows on how to please a woman on the women's channel late at night."

Jessica sat for a moment, calming down from her orgasm and then she sat up all of a sudden and gave me a slight smile as she grabbed ahold of my belt and slipped it off quickly and tossed it on the other side of her room. I didn't see where it had landed, but it sounded like it had hit near her full-length mirror on the other side of her bed against the wall. I could feel my cock beginning to pulse as she unzipped my pants and I hoped she did what I thought she was going to do. As soon as she got my pants off, she touched my stiff cock through the hole on the front of my boxer shorts and then pulled them back and off, letting my cock stand in front of her, uncovered and in full view.

I thought about laying back on her bed, but when her hot saliva hit the most sensitive part on the top of my cock, my stomach muscles tightened and I stayed in a tight sitting position. Her mouth then went down and I couldn't believe the soft, wet feeling I felt that made me groan uncontrollably. "Oh yesss!" The feeling of her mouth going back and forth of my cock was almost too much and I had to squeeze the muscles in between my legs to prevent myself from cumming earlier than I wanted to. She knew exactly what to do to make me reach orgasm and she would slow down to let me calm down before she started going faster again and soon, I was ready and she sensed I was getting close and began to suck harder and faster, making me groan and gasp more and more.

When I came, I could barely feel it come out but the heat from her mouth seemed to linger as I shot repeatedly in to her opening. I was still panting just as she had when she'd had her orgasm, but I was able to see her open her mouth and show me my cum before she closed her mouth.

"Oh...you don't have to swallow it if you don't want to." I said. She'd done more than I would've ever thought possible and I would've rather not asked for anything in return after giving her an orgasm, but she seemed to want to reciprocate the pleasure I'd given her and since I had licked my hand and fingers of her juices, she did the same for me, throwing her head back and swallowing what was left after she let a little run out of her mouth and on to her body.

"Ooohhh." I moaned, feeling my cock jump when I saw her throat flex, knowing my cum was on its way down to her stomach. She licked her tongue around her mouth area, making sure that every trace of my cum was gone from her face.

"How was that?" She asked quietly and sighed contently. I bent down, picked her up and kissed her strongly. She had done an amazing thing that I would've never thought anyone would've done for me before I died. I took her back to her bed and she climbed on by herself, making room for me to settle next to her and fall asleep quietly after I'd kissed her gently on her cheek, the both of us still naked and with a sense of deep satisfaction and love for each other.

I woke up during the night and looked at the clock on the nightstand next to Jessica's bed and saw that it was almost midnight, the time my parents would probably be coming back home. I got out of Jessica's bed as softly as I could, trying my hardest not to interrupt her peaceful slumber and picked up all of her clothes and set them in a small pile next to her bed and looked for mine as well, but was only able to find my boxer shorts, pants, and my shirt...my belt was probably lost somewhere in her room when she'd taken if off of me and thrown it away, but it didn't matter. I could find it tomorrow probably. I went to my room, dropped my clothes on the floor, and fell on to my bed, and fell asleep again.

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"Ben?" I heard my name being called softly and I opened my eyes slowly and looked at my mother. It was morning; still slightly dark out, but beginning to show the first impending indications of dawn coming. "Ben?" My mother asked again and shook me a little.

"Hi, mom." I grumbled and closed my eyes. I'd forgotten to take my nausea suppressant pill at midnight and felt like throwing up as soon as I became conscious of my body.

"Are you feeling okay, Ben?" She asked and sat down stiffly on my bed next to me.

"Little sick." I said and she nodded and went to make a note so Jessica would know not to disturb me and let me sleep, not that I really would've minded. My mom brought me a glass of water and my forgotten nausea suppressant pill. I took the glass of water, rose in my bed, and remembered that I was still naked from last night and while I put the pill in my mouth, I pulled the sheet and blanket closer to me.