All Comments on 'Every Man's Fantasy Ch. 12'

Your economic ideas straight out of Ayn Rand, are amusing. Ever heard of something called a 'company town'?

I'm happy that you went back to the story about the people on Earth. It was a good reminder that this is sci-fi with the explanation of FTL travel. Ignore the comment about economics - this story is not about economics or science as we know them. Keep up the good work!

Thank you so much for continuing this amazing work. I am enjoying it very much.

you are writing a great story, i like these stories, good sex with good story telling

I like the story.

I like the characters.

I like the scenes on Earth.

I like the long chapters.

I don't like waiting so long between chapters.

That is because I really, really love your story.

. . . everyone else's loving, encouraging, supportive and appreciative comments on chapters 1 thru 12 . . . . . . . . and last my totally original comment, 'Great Work, Thanks!'

Screw the sex... drop that MOTHAFUCKIN SCIENCE

I'm skimming through the sex to follow the plot.

"So good: I'm skimming through the sex to follow the plot."

It is amazing how many people think this is a straight-up compliment to an author. I think it is a double-edged one at best. Here: "I'm going to assume you put nothing important in the sex scenes which are part of the pacing and hard work you put into this and disregard them to get to the parts that I think are more important."

Actually it's a straight-up compliment. You don't have to look past Hollywood to know sex sells. It's the only reason a lot of the crap out there made it to the end of production. This author transcends porn by a mile and has produced a brilliant novel, that would sell in the mainstream with just some work to tone down the sexual aspects of the story.

To the second and third anonymous commenters, caesarionr69, Steve150177, sailandoar, SplitAces and observer7.

Thank you all for the very fine compliments.

Regards,

Erinaceous.

To SplitAces and observer7:

SplitAces, I take what you said as a compliment but I'm also grateful to you, observer7, for defending me because I think you're both right.

I have tried to make the sex integral to the plot (or at least some of the sub-plots, though I can't give details because of spoilers). And the reason there is so much sex is that this is Literotica. I never imagined I could write something that would be successful in the mainstream. Maybe I will sometime take SplitAces' advice and write a straight version of the story.

Thanks again to you both,

Erinaceous.

Thanks to the anonymous commenter who rightly said that the theme of the story is not economics or science. Quite right: the theme is sexual relationships in the widest sense, especially in a nearly all-female society.

Regards,

Erinaceous.

I basically said your plot is better than sex. Why would you need to be defended?

I dunno, SpA, why are you defending your view by denying the existence of others?

There is a certain holier-than-thou hypocrisy associated with coming to a place where you would hope that the quality of the erotic scenes is as good as the plot, because....sex story site. And yet you and others say, ;everything but the sex is worth my time to fully absorb.; It flies in the face of what authors try to accomplish here. Only 70% of the story is worthwhile, you say, in your attempt to sound like you aren't on a wank site. That, or artificially blow the author's ego about them easily being a bestseller, if not for the sex stuff.

Add a cherry on top by saying, Oh, you should just take it how I mean it in my thoughtless way and suppress your own feelings because I deny they exist---; and you gave an asshole who believes everyone thinks like him.

Really...why are you in Sci-if/Fantasy? If there was one place where one should consider exotic viewpoint different from one's own, it is here.

I stand by what I said with no apologies. The only controversy here are the words you keep trying to put into my mouth.

In the few really good story that I read here the components of the sex was always of little importance compared to the rest of the story. Also, after short, the sex part became repetitive, especially when happen between humans rather than with other entities that have physical differences.

If possible give less part on the sex part and more on the rest I think can be very beneficial for the whole story.

Noticed you wrote 'come with' again... Loved it anyways.

Thanks!

An enjoyable side trek back "home", with some fun hints at potential future developments. I think the sex was pretty hot for the most part; an opportunity to have new perspectives and players.

Jason

I'm glad you're enjoying it

I am currently in college majoring in astrophysics. This chapter was quite engaging and reminded me of why I had chosen astrophysics to major in. Are you, the author, a physicist?

Thanks for your comment. I'm not a physicist but I love reading up on physics and all the sciences.

Good luck with your degree. It's a great time to be an astrophysicist or cosmologist.

Regards, Erinaceous.

You are putting the difficult, but necessary work into character development. It will, (already is, given the time lag), pay great dividends in 20+ chapters, and beyond. You have a wonderful imagination and creativity for 'birthing' worlds and characters. Your dialogue is strong, but natural, (I wouldn't worry about the colloquilisms, ie: the hanging 'with'; that can be eliminated in < ten minutes with a search & replace routine. That'll get picked up in editing before publishing.)

I would warn you against going too far in any ideological direction with politics, economic theory, or the like unless it is a plot device to introduce a character, or intended to move the plot in a particular direction. It can subconsciously turn off a significant percentage of readers to the story, or your work, as an author. When an author goes too far in an ideologica direction, it inveribly comes off, or is interpreted as 'preachy'.

People do not want to be preached at, or to, when reading for entertainment. Leave it to the ideologues. If you ARE an ideologue, and are using the art to spread your beliefs, expect to reach a ceiling on your readership, no matter how good your work is.

If the entire story arc continues at this level, you should consider a self-publish on Amazon. You can leave this version on Lit, with no conflict, since a major edit would be necessary, and with that, you'll end up modifying it enough, you'll be selling a different 'book'.

In the mean time, starting a Patreon page would be a good test market trial, as well as giving you the opportunity to write some back stories, find an illustrator to collaborate with on character drawing, planet maps & even, star charts. All the extras can be offered to patreons at different donation levels, or just as a way to say thanks for the financial support.

Also, it will give you a platform to explore continuing the 'world' with newer generations of characters, and different story arcs.

Another benefit of branching out to Patreon is you can expand your readership beyond Lit. You never know when someone from Hollywood, or the publishing world might fall in love with your characters and your story; doing the extra step of a Patreon page will demonstrate your interest in writing as a craft is strong enough you are willing to do the kind of work it takes to succeed as a print author.

Lastly, the Patreon revenue will help jump start self-publishing if you decide to go that route, (which I strongly encourage).

If you are interested in other sites where you could co-submit 'Every Man's Fantasy', post a reply in a later chapter, (I ALWAYS read the comments), and I'll send you links to the sites I know of.

Thanks for sharing your imagination, AND for all the hard work it takes to produce work at the level you are.

Regards,

GeoD

Such a rush of information, emotion and of course the potential for getting to Samothea...

Very fun chapter!

J

I'm gonna be honest here I couldn't care less about Roger and Danielle. I just skimmed over the whole chapter. Also I feel sorry for Ezra, his family isn't worried for he at all even after Danielle found out something terrible could have happened to him!!!

I know we’re supposed to be rooting for Ezra’s baby sister to rescue him from his Robinson Crusoe/shagfest world, but I want to say up front before I read any further that I’ll be upset if Stephen Oakshott doesn’t appear in any further episodes! His character is an absolute gem (and a bit comic relief I suspect), I’ve known abrupt people like him for years, very often UK ex-military senior officers, you’ve got their speech pattern bang on, made me laugh till the tears ran free. Proper job. 5⭐️ Erinaceous.

1 star for the amateur attempts at austrian school (economics) proselytizing.