by stevieraygovan
It's like finding out how Summer got started, isn't it? Early Days, as a young rah rah girl. Same boundless spunk, and your faithful adoration of her bum. By and by, will you ever come back to the Summer story? You won't just leave the other two blokes holding the bag now, will you? That wouldn't be very sporting of you. They want their crack at her too. Back to this one, Dawn has the look of being a real goer. Brilliant. Just don't forget about Summer! Terry in Manchester.
When I said that Ass Model would be a perfect story for you. Fantastic stuff, SRG. I absolutely loved it. Chapter 2 tonight, right? <p>
Chapter 3 on Saturday? <p>
Oh, and the Parody on Monday. Hehehehe! <p>
No, seriously, this was fucking great. I love Dawn. She's awesome. I want at least eight chapters! Don't fucking skimp on me now!
More involved. Things begin moving.<p>
My parody story will get written today or tomorrow, since you said it has to get done by tomorrow night, to match yours.<p>
No idea when chapter III of this one will be ready. It'll certainly be my next effort, following the parody story.<p>
I still can't believe I screwed that one bit up, early in this chapter, when I accidentally attributed that one quote to Paul rather than to Rick. That one hurt.<p>
Terry, I'm in limbo right now, regarding what I want to do about Summer. The idea of trying to follow up on "Summer Voodoo," well, you read it. You know.
it felt more like lesbian than incest. and your diction sounds like a teen, using words like "gay" to replace stupid. not much people over 18 say that's gay.
...among many other things. It's just beginning. I didn't want to break it up by category, each chapter, any more than I have to. Later on, once she's out in California, I may need to, of course. If so, I will.<p>
As for "gay" not being used in place of "stupid," you said it yourself: I'm writing the dialogue to suit their ages. Mom and dad don't say it, but Dawn, Paul and Rick are still kids, so they still do. You wouldn't want them all to speak with one universal vocabulary, would you? Moms and dads, speaking with the same speech patterns and verbiage as their children?<p>
That would be horrible. Writers should never do that. The dialogue for goofy high school kids needs to be written differently than that of their university professor parents.
I like the build up of the first chapter, can't wait for more, Eldridgein was right your writing is very good, and I hope you decide to do some more stories in this category in the future. Anyway looking forward to your guys' parody stories later.
The Anonymous One
I must say, this is one of my favorite stories. Well, detailed, gives you a good build up for it. I'll love to see this series continue on. And your friend's idea seemed spot on for some entertainment and just in time for the summer to enjoy reading. Hope to see other chapters soon.
-Acer
I like the set-up you've got going here. There's a lot waiting to happen in future chapters what with the road trip and very likely, more cheerleader shenanigans. I'm guessing they're there for Eldridge? ;)
This must be the 2nd or 3rd time I've read this story line, and each time it sucks me in. I really enjoy your writing style and definitely hope for more to come.
-Deuce
Great story...I look forward to hearing much more about this hot family...hope Mom & son and Dad & daughter enjoy themselves too...very good story telling, I love u'r work!
Dawn is the best character I have come across on this site. Fantastic.
Awesome... words can't describe how hard and horny I got reading this...!
This was a great story to read!!! very enjoyeable...Kudos to the author for such a well written and thought out story!! not too fast into the scene which I love!!
That was a fun story to read and it got me wet too! I really liked it and will read more now:) Annie
I have to say, reading this was a nice surprise. I've read some stories that were good, some that were "wham bamm thank you ma'm" and some that were just crude. This one was sexy, stimulating, and the story line flowed so well that I am looking forward to reading the other chapters. Thank you for this story.
I am so loving this story. Can't wait to read more of it. I also hope your other stories are just as enjoyable. I can't create an account on here so I hope my email address is ok.
demonicbear.tb@gmail.com
I really like the beginning. Very funny and original start. Can't wait to read more.
Not that there is anything wrong with that... In fact I love it. It is a bit confusing thou. They sound like a very Incestuous family, that doesn't have sex with each other??? Mom and Dad both say they think the daughter is so sexy and hot and wouldn't mind if she was naked in the house... Mom sounds like she is in lust with the daughter, Dad sounds like horndog. While they sound like they don't want the kids to have sex with each other, they also sound like they expect them to, and mom wouldn't mind having the son either. I mean don't get me wrong I like the story and I'll be reading the rest, I just don't understand the family yet... Do they all like incest or not? Are they in lust with each other? So many things I don't get yet.
Is it just me, or did I step into a 10-year time warp? Love this story, though. Dawn is my dream girl.