All Comments on 'Evil Bitch Ch. 12'

Your stories are excellent, man. Love your work!!!!

Is there a chapter missing because between 11 and twelve there is a gap in time line and they refer to events that had yet to happen in 11 so i am lost. Good chapter all around, but i just dont understand a lot of what they are talking about

Confused? I know what you mean, I felt the same way. Did I miss a chapter? Did I miss some of the story! Dont get me wrong, I did very much love the chapter Its just felt like I missed something. also ty for adding the list of folks and who they were , I brought me back to speed on the story.

I know personally I cant wait for each chptr that come out ,and impatiently I might add hahahh, love your writing

When did he come under attack and wind up with so many shuriken in him, and does he know who attacked him?

I thoroughly enjoyed the chapter.

Thanks for the great read.

I just want to echo the confused feeling.

You had also said less tech more sex, but this chapter was confusing, and I found myself skimming large sections of it. I feel like you need to reign it back in. Maybe you are trying to include too many things, and it's hard to juggle so many elements, plus have sex, and keep it from being 11 pages long. Less might be more.

As meandering and maddening to read as a HP Lovecraft book is, this story is turning out to be even more of a mess than one of his books. This story is all over the place and adding too many characters. When you need to add a preface to an erotic story listing the characters, its a sure sign the story has jumped the rails.

Get back to what made the story good to begin with, the interaction between him and his family. You really don't need to add a new character every chapter for him to fuck. If you feel the need to add another character make it a fuck and toss away refrain from adding more recurring ones to add to the already copious amounts that are in it.

I don't want to stop reading this story because the sex and characters are great, but this is just becoming bizarre at this point. You really need to figure out where this story's going and decide if it's going to be business/science story, sci-fi, lovecraft, superhero, or a simple harem story

Another great story I can see what confused some you took out the fight sceen when you were heading back to have no real big new tech to explain... personally I would have voted towards keeping the tech and the story together its been doing great i would love to see the others continue as well

you are a great writer, but yea i have to Eco what some others have said about the confusion about the attack.. and I don't know the reunion with his sisters was way to short and over to quickly... they just got back from having some work done.. a little more when them in the next one would be appreciated

I haven't been able to stop reading. Excellent job.

......did I miss something? When did Louisa loose her cherry?! Dammit! I hope O wasnt half asleep when I read that chapter!! Did I miss it or was it not covered?

....otherwise rock on! At the beginning the author said less tech, more sex, I hope in future chapters its more tech and the normal ammount of sex ;). ...and what about the redhead asian? Upcoming I guess!

I hope there are a hundred fucking chapters to this novel before it ends! I havent even bothered to read anything else on here since I started this one, usually I float between four or five, lol.

Amazing job!

M@

...as a p.s., in your case I dont think less is more. Other than the addition of the husband and wife characters that is; even then they could have just had their stories shortened as they were helpful for plot development (to me anyway) with reference to an avatar.

Man, you seriously need one or more editors

Three Shuriken in his chest, but Louisa pull out four?

And, as has been mention before, Louisa was a virgin waiting for the right guy, now she's not?

I can live with no description of the missing days, as long as we get them in a flashback, I guess

And too many grammar and pronoun and tense errors to even begin enumerating , each of which totally interrupts the flow of the story

Great series, but Tesla was AC current, backed by Westinghouse. Edison was DC, backed by Morgan, who eventually bought Westinghouse’s AC interests to form General Electric.