Excerpts from a Diary

January 27th 1835

We docked this morning and my husband went off with a pair of arm binders leaving me aboard the ship. A dressmaker has visited and talked with Lissa and left with most of my dresses. My husband returned later with another set of binders, this time for the legs. This afternoon, Lissa undressed me, and fitted my bedroom boots, the Austrian belt and then my arm binders, I lay on the bed and my husband bent my legs back behind me. Informing me that he would brook no lewd behaviour from his wife, he then fitted leg binders to me so that my bedroom boots were lashed hard to my bottom. I complained bitterly and he produced a gag and gagged me and Lissa fitted a face mask over my head. I had to suffer in bound silence. As I lay bound I heard someone enter the room and then felt sharp pain in my nipples as they were both pierced and as I later found out, rings inserted. They released me for dinner when I found out that the rings were to be used to drag my nipples down instead of the tied pieces of cotton. I now have gold chains attached to the rings holding my breasts down, my husband ordered Lissa to pull them so tight that my nipples are stretched a full 2" and touching the top of my corset, I thought that they would be removed after we returned from dinner, but my husband has ordered them not, my nipples are so sore, I am sure I will not be able to sleep. Lissa now stands waiting with the arm and leg binders and ominously the 3½" dilator.

January 28th 1835

Last night Lissa bound my legs and arms and between they forced the 3½" dilator up my arse, I cried out and my husband rapidly gagged me with a ring gag. He then woke me several times and ordered me to pleasure him with my mouth. He did not help and each time I struggled to turn over using my just elbows and then moving, on my bound elbows and knees, position my self above his member and pleasure him whilst still wearing the ring gag. Every time I brushed my stretched nipples against his body I gasped with pain. He at last let me sleep, letting it be known that now I could not embarrass him again. I am full of remorse, maybe my Uncle is right and I am incorrigible. My husband has been so patient with me, but I have let him down at every turn.

January 30th 1835

We have left Cape Town I have not seen it, my husband has said that he is not sure he can trust me in polite company until he has taken certain measures.

February 15th 1835

I have fallen again, last night looking for some relief from tension, I used my bound elbows to drag my one of my titties up towards my mouth so that I could suck on my breast button, I leaned my head forward and started sucking, I was so entranced that I did not notice my husband wake and view my disgusting behaviour. Tonight Lissa stands ready with the arm and leg binders and one my old posture collars, which she has found in the crate. I notice with dread that it is the highest one which forces my head right back.

February 18th 1835

I have been caught again, last night I began rubbing my nipples with my bound arms and my husband discovered me once more. He has got the ships carpenter to make a bar which holds two short leather cylinders, this afternoon it was fitted to me, the leather cylinders are tightly bound around the base of my breast, make them balloon up high on my chest and the bar extends over my bound arms stopping me from raising them to my breasts. After a while my breasts begin to throb painfully, but there was no relief.

February 21st 1835

Three days ago, my husband says that he has completely lost faith in me and as such has reinstituted, my bound arm day dresses, that morning Lissa bound my arms back double as tight as she could lace them and my bound arms were forced into a my light blue day dress which had been altered to accept the bound arms in Cape Town, the false gloved arms were fitted and have spent the days in that fashion ever since. They have even hobbled my ankles so that I cannot raise my legs up during the day as I once did at night. I don't think anybody on board has really noticed as I was mostly helpless due the over large beret sleeves and at meals my husband has always fed me. I am now back in the state as under my Uncles vigilance, all due to my own lack of discipline.

February 28th 1835

I have now been encumbered with the 4" dilator for 4 days, and it fills me horribly, I waddle about like a drunken seaman, each step causing me pain. I dearly hope my husband will be able to enter me soon. Today my husband ordered my corset fully closed from top to bottom, Lissa pulled and pulled until not a sight of gap remained. The pressure is insufferable, my ribs are crushed and my hips are squeezed and it has increased the pressure on my expanded arse, the only benefit is that the front busk is pushed towards my front pleasure hole and I can feel a little relief although bending forward to increase the pressure brings stars to my eyes, I know I needed to reduce my waist but why do I have to be so tightlaced above and below. Since the night they forced it into me I have worn a full tight laced face mask every night with just a mouth opening and the ring gag, I now have great difficulty founding my husbands member to service him without sight.

February 28th 1835

We are preparing for the Indies and my husband is worried that I shall embarrass him in front of the managers of the East Indies Company. He has told me that his new wife will declared very fragile and I will be taken straight to his house and kept in restraint until he can trust me, I will be only allowed out under the severest conditions.

March 3rd 1835

I am now wearing full masks with only opening for my nostrils all day long with my large wigs perched atop them. The ships officers have made no comment and carry on as if nothing had happened. I fear that my husband has told them something of my disobedience and they seem to accept the situation.

March 5th 1835

Last night the 4" dilator was removed, and my husband entered my rear pleasure hole, I have been waiting for this moment for weeks, hoping for release from my built up tension that has hounded me and caused my husband so much dismay. And although he seemed satisfied and repeated three times it gave nought satisfaction to me.

March 10th 1835

We are reaching the Indies and the heat is oppressive, I can manage no movement whilst I am masked as I need every breath of air just to survive, I lay on my bed fully dressed, with my corset now fully closed, and my collar tight and even though I wear the corset closed at all times, my husband still insists on the Austrian belt. He says that my narrow waist is one of the few things he can still admire about me, and always turns the screws a little tighter. I must suffer these predicaments, it is my own fault I have failed him in so many ways.

March 12th 1835

We have docked in Batavia and if I was hoping for some release, it was not forthcoming, my husband has declared me in feeble health and as such I would be carried from the ship. This morning I was left in my leg binders and dressed in my best day dress. My mask was removed and my mouth filled with a large kerchief and then a blind mask was fitted and then hidden behind a veiled sun bonnet and I was carried from the Maartel by two natives and driven in a carriage to my husbands house.

March 16th 1835

I have not as yet seen anything of my husband's house except the bedroom as I have been bound ever since. In the morning I am dressed still in my leg binders, my mouth gagged, my ears plugged and my blind mask fitted and carried down to the drawing room, there I am placed on the sofa and left all day in this position, the only relief has been when Lissa removes my mask to feed me and sometimes when my husband returns during the day to service me. He just upends me, tosses all my petticoats over my head spreads my bound legs and takes his pleasure. The only good thing is that he has now using my front pleasure hole and now I get some release.

I am left upended until Lissa comes to right me. In the evening I am taken up early and I am allowed an hour of freedom from the binders and mask to perform my ablutions and keep this diary which my husband has insisted I keep. I am then fitted with the bedroom boots, arms and legs tightly bound, the high posture collar and the breast bar and propped up on cushion so that my arse is at the right height for my husband if has the fancy to service me without bending down. I have not seen my husbands face, heard his voice or been able to speak to him for three days now, but I hope when he allows me to see and speak to him I will be able to convince of my deepest repentance and that he will one day release me this strict bondage.

March 18th 1835

Today some change, my mask let me see through two small pinholes, my ears were unplugged, but my mouth was still fully gagged , my nipple chain were released slightly and Lissa fitted a wide leather strap underneath my bosom and then over my shoulders and pulled it tight, so that my bosom was lifted high, but still keeping my nipples down. I was then dressed in my most ornate evening dress, I had not worn it on the ship because of it's immense size. It took sixteen newly laundered and fully starched petticoats to fill the skirt, so that it was fully 8ft across and its beret sleeves were at least 3ft wide and the same from front to back, the collar has an enormous frill which extends a foot either side. I was carried down to the living room and placed on the sofa, I could not see much, but my husband then upended me and took me roughly from back and front, I then felt the four inch dilator forced into my arse and then another dilator was pushed in my front pleasure hole, it felt so big, I thought I would burst.

My husband then explained to me that the Island community wanted to see his new wife and as such I would be on display today. He had put it about that I could not speak and my face was covered due to being sunburnt on the voyage. With that the servants entered and they lifted me onto a heavy stand which was waiting in the centre of the room. The stand had two cups into which my bound knees were inserted and strapped down tight, Lissa came and fitted a pot face over my mask and then a colossal, beringletted, bright red wig was fitted to my head. A most enormous heavy hat festooned with ribbons was fitted atop the wig and fastened underneath my chin. Lissa placed a mirror in front me and angled side to side so that I could see my reflection. I looked like a doll, my waist was minute, seemingly visibly even smaller than it's 3" width by the panelled vertical stripes of the bodice, it was dwarfed into nothing in contrast to the massive skirts below and the distended beret sleeves either side. My bosom was a mountainous mass of white flesh rising heavily and falling with each breath, straining at the edge of my décolleté, each pant pulled hard at my nipple chains and stretched my nipples unmercilessly. My pot face was a perfect picture of mine own; I don't know when it was made. While I was waiting my husband returned with the Austrian belt and screwed it harshly into my waist, so that I nearly fainted, saying that I must look my best for today. At least forty visitors came, mostly males, but some husbands and wives, all spoke and commiserated at my illness and all I could do was occasionally shake my bound arms, which moved my artificial arms slightly in reply. I was complimented on my outfit and I heard several of the males insisting that their wives order something similar, and one even clasped my waist and encouraged his wife to attain similar proportions. She looked dismayed as she was a portly woman and it was obvious by the heaving of her bosom, that she was already laced to the utmost, but still had a waist of over 20". Her husband was adamant and I heard them say that she would be laced to the point of fainting when they returned home. When the last visitors had left, I was taken down and carried to the carriage, and we toured the area letting everybody see me in my finery.

I sit here now perched on a stool, I have been released from the armbinders to write this piece, but the pot mask, hideous wig, enormous hat, leg binders and the two enormous intrusive dilators remain in place.