by ExchangeStudent
I think the storyline is interesting. I like it alot. I do think you should get an editor to clean it up. It's important for all writers to have one. Keep writing!
OK ONE DON'T LISTEN TO ANYONE U HAVE A GOOD STORY BUT PLZ MAKE IT MORE CH.s AND CAN I ASK IS THIS STORY ABOUT WOLVES OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT CUZ I GET LIKE A TWILIGHT VIB FROM IT AND I HOPE SO
This is amazing. I couldn't believe you cut off right after meeting Chris! What's gonna happen next? Gosh, I hope there'll be a part 2 out.
NO ONE and i mean no one would end a chapter at this point ....sorry if iam mad but why good stories and the stories we like the most are way too short ,please make the next chapter fast and very very sooooooon
The second chapter is already done. It just needs to be edited.
Having lived in the Bay Area once, I happen to know that Morgan Hill is not located near the beach -- it's a good hour's drive away, if I remember right. It's a little thing most people would never pick up on, but if you're going to set a story in a real-life location, it's usually a good idea to pay attention to the geography.