Falling Hard Ch. 12

But looking down, she was distracted by something else: his huge erection that she knew he was meaning to shove into her body.

It was true - he was just an evil demon like Heath. How stupid could she be? But no, a part of her still refused to believe this was happening. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. Surely, he could be reasoned with.

"Stop, I don't want to do it... like this," she panted as his hands went roughly over her body. She didn't like that it was doing something to her, arousing her - down there.

He moved back. Maybe he was finally listening. No. He put both hands on her thighs and parted them, holding her legs wide open.

She gasped as he moved one large finger down between her legs and touched her clit softly, caressing it. It was like a pleasant torture with the nerves in her body strung tight, begging for more. Then he slid his fingertip down to her tight opening. Despite her fear, his expert touch had wetness dripping from between her legs.

That shouldn't be happening. It was as if her body had a mind of its own, not listening to the warning in her head.

He hadn't made eye contact since he'd had her against the wall. She was terrified at the soulless look in those midnight eyes. No emotion there, unless it was lust.

He tested the entrance to her body once more. Then, he pulled his wet finger away and licked it.

"Ready enough," he said. To himself? Then he moved so he could enter her.

She screamed.

"Stop it, no, please! Not like this! I'll tell you anything you want, you can even make me tell you, I don't care, anything you want to know. Just talk to me, please... talk to me."

She was sobbing hysterically now.

Finally, he spoke: "Scream all you want. Nobody can help you." The coldness in his voice shocked her.

She didn't scream anymore after that. Her mind needed something it could control in order to be sane, and it could at least control the volume of her voice.

But now she begged and pleaded with him over and over. Finally, she heard him sigh.

"This is really getting old. I should just make you shut up so I don't have to hear this."

She couldn't breathe. He'd really said that horrible thing to her.

She hadn't been expecting him to be so... evil. But why not? He WAS evil. She just couldn't believe it now. She felt like this was a nightmare, not real. This was the same guy that had her laughing on the couch earlier while they sipped wine like good friends. He would stop this madness anytime now, wouldn't he?

She had one hand free suddenly, and she reached up to touch his face. Maybe she could get him to look her in the eyes. Maybe with his power he could see the truth in there.

But he jerked his face out of her hand and pushed it back down.

"I thought you wanted me, Virta." His voice was light, but his eyes still wouldn't meet hers.

"Not like this. This isn't you."

"Maybe this IS me. The other Athan was just an act."

"I don't believe that."

At least he was talking to her now, addressing her as a person.

"Why not? This is what they told you I do. This is why you're here for me."

"I don't want to turn you in... even if I could.

His voice instantly became loud and demanding, frightening her as he railed on and on: "I'm evil, Virta! Believe it! Which way are you going, Virta? You've got to make up your mind now. As they say up there, you're either for me or against me. No having it both ways; can't play on both teams, Virta!"

His body moved over her.

"Ready or not..."

She was open and defenseless before him.

"No, stop!" she cried. "I don't want to do this, not like this."

It was probably nothing he hadn't heard a thousand times from a thousand virgins. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

The head of his big cock was poised at her hot, dripping hole.

Suddenly, he flipped her over onto her stomach.

"I don't wanna look at your lying, betraying face while I fuck you," he said roughly.

Virta was nearly hysterical, crying, but now her cries were muffled since she was face down on the bed. She got up on her elbows and tried to scoot forward, away from him.

* * *

He'd turned her over because he couldn't look her in the face anymore. He couldn't see her looking up at him that way as he tried to ignore her large, pleading eyes, filled with pain that he was causing.

"No, not this way," she was crying. "Let me turn around so I can see you when you're doing it. So I can at least put my arms around you; hold onto you..."

Damn, that did something to him, shattering open his already heavy conscience.

"You're not an innocent, Virta. You're a lying cunt."

"Yes," she sobbed. "But I love you, Athan."

He paused. Damn the bitch. She would use those words, toss them around to save her ass. It wasn't the first time someone had told him that, and then tried to kill him.

"You'll say anything to get yourself out of trouble."

"I do love you. I'm begging you, please, don't do this... can we just talk about this?"

Her ass was up; her tight, virgin hole was glistening. She wanted him whether she realized it or not.

Then suddenly, all his anger left him. He let out his breath in one large whoosh of air. Virta's tear-stained, frightened face flashed in his mind.

What the hell was he doing? He was not a rapist now on top of everything else. Virta WAS innocent.

He'd been angry and freaked out about the relic... traumatic memories had overtaken him; and rage over Virta's deception. But this was not the way he would deal with it.

Virta was just a pawn in a much larger game. Larger than she could even realize. She was not the same kind of hardened, brutal enemy he dealt with day in and day out. Virta was not Rose, the angel with the deceptively weak-looking human body that housed a powerful, deranged spirit.

Damn, he was really going soft. Virta had a relic for him; he knew her real assignment was to bring him in. But looking down at her, he couldn't help but think 'so what?' This was not her fault. He could not be angry with her. He only felt pity for her. And, something else, but no, he wouldn't allow that emotion to rise in his heart.

It only led him to pain and destruction before.

* * *

Virta closed her eyes, waiting for the invasion of his big cock into her impossibly tight hole. She knew he had every right to hate her. Because she HAD lied, she had fully intended to bring him in to the General to save her own skin. And he'd seen right through her feeble act.

It had only been moments before that she realized she was going to do nothing to hurt him. That she loved him. But that realization had come too late. The General had warned her something like this could happen. But she just couldn't believe that Athan was really capable of it.

Cries wracked her body, but it wasn't just for the pain of what was coming. It was more for what could have been between them. She did love him. Being with him, looking into his beautiful eyes, kissing his lips, her mistrust of him was gone. What they'd tried to force into her mind had crumbled when it came in contact with his presence, his soul.

But it was all about to be ruined because of his unquenchable anger. God, what had they done to him to make him react to the relic like this? Nothing could work out between them after he tore up her body and heart.

She felt the shift of his weight on the bed, the heat of his body as he moved himself closer. She shut her eyes tightly, bracing herself. All of her body was tensed up, even her inner muscles, as if that could keep him out. If he'd lined his cock up with her entrance and was going to plunge in, there was nothing she could do.

But the assault on her body never came.

She heard him sigh, groan. To her surprise, he moved from between her spread legs to a sitting position on the bed next to her. One of his thick, muscular thighs was filling her vision. She felt a sheet being pulled over her trembling, naked form.

What was he playing at? How was he not pounding and stretching her senseless right now?

She dared to look up. He wasn't looking down at her, but staring through the open bedroom door. His arms were crossed over his chest as he leaned back against the pillows.

He finally spoke. His voice was weary, quiet, almost calm. But to her relief, it sounded more like his old self.

"Banner isn't going to give you anything he promised. I think you know that, deep down. There's still a part of you they couldn't touch with their brainwashing. They must be holding something big over you. What is it, Virta? Is Banner threatening to send you to the Mines? Hell?"

She didn't answer for a moment, just stayed there trying to get her head around the sudden change in her situation.

"Yes, it's just like you said. But I changed my mind. I wasn't going to turn you in."

He reached across her where the relic lay just inches from her fingers on the night stand. She saw him take it in his hand and then he was back in his spot against the headboard.

"You should," he said.

She turned over onto her back and slid up against the headboard, holding the sheet over her chest, protectively. There was at least a foot between their bodies. She didn't know what was coming next, but she didn't want to be flat on her back when it happened.

She was amazed when she realized he was simply holding the relic out to her.

She reached and took ahold of it without thinking. The shock that he was giving it back to her. Why? He was just sitting there, arms at his sides, staring ahead. Didn't he know she could use it on him? Was that what he wanted?

She tossed it onto the floor.

"I meant that I love you," she said.

He muttered as he got up and picked her shirt and underwear up from the floor. They were ripped in pieces. He sighed and dropped them back on the floor. She watched as he went to his dresser and pulled out a t-shirt.

He was back at her side, holding it out to her. She took it but continued to sit there, unsure what to say. He seemed to be struggling for words too. He reached down like he intended to gently stroke her hair, but then pulled back his hand.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I know those words aren't enough."

"I'm sorry too, for - "

"Come on," he interrupted. "I'll take you home."

She shook her head. "I want to stay here."

He looked down at her like she was crazy.

"Virta, get up and put that on."

She sighed, but she did climb out of the bed.

She took the huge shirt and raised her arms to put it on. Before she dropped it over her head, she saw him looking at her body. He had a disgusted look on his face. She looked down at herself to see what it was that revolted him.

There were bruises forming on her skin. He cursed under his breath.

"Come on," he said when she was covered. The shirt reached nearly to her knees. "I'm gonna show you how to get out of here."

They walked to the wall that had brought them into the pocket earlier that evening.

He turned around and said, "First of all, I don't want you to be afraid of me, Virta."

She looked at the floor, then back up at him.

"Look, I know that sounds insane after what I just did.... but I'm hoping you'll believe me when I say that I'm not gonna hurt you."

He seemed a little nervous now, his voice taking on a panicky tone, desperation.

"That back there," he pointed to the bedroom, "that was evil Athan... the one who was afraid. Yeah, don't look so surprised at that. I've been afraid before, and when I saw the relic, I freaked out. I know there's no excuse for what I did. I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted."

"What? No. Don't make it easy for me. I'm not gonna make it that easy on myself."

"I trust you."

She saw him react to that, as though it startled him.

"Should we destroy the relic?" she asked, trying to change the subject.

"No," he said, "we may need it."

"OK," she said. "I meant what I said. I love you."

"Stop saying that."

"You were right all along. We should have talked about things. We'll do that. Nothing held back, no more secrets. I promise."

He didn't say anything to that, but pointed to the wall. "I'm going to show you how to get out of here."

"You don't have to show me that tonight."

Ignoring her, he said, "Look at this." He put his hand against the wall.

"You get used to how it feels. One part of the wall will feel warm, barely vibrating... like it's not even solid."

He had her stick out her hand.

"Feel it?"

"Yes."

"OK, so now you know how to get out of a pocket. You'll get used to finding the spots. Then it just comes naturally."

Virta nodded. She gingerly took Athan's hand to move him back to the bedroom. But he was unmovable, like a rock.

"Get all your things," he said. "I'm taking you home."

"What? I want to stay with you. We can just sleep, like you said."

But he was already gone from her side, then back in an instant with her bag, jeans, and shoes. He handed them to her. Then he reached into his closet and took out a large jacket and draped it around her.

"Let's go," he said.

They went back to her apartment. He offered to get a cab, but no, she wanted to walk.

He was mostly silent on the way, unless she asked him a question. He kept his answers short and brief. The only thing he wouldn't talk about, was what happened before, with the relic.

They got to her door. Virta glanced down the building to see if any of Mandi's lights were on.

"She's not there," he said. He took the key from Virta's hand and opened the door to her apartment. He flipped on the light and went in. Before she could step through the door, he was back at her side.

"It's safe," he said. "I checked it out."

"Oh, who do you think would be there?"

He sighed. "You just never know."

Virta came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, still in Athan's shirt. "I love your shirt," she said. "It smells like you, and it's so soft."

"You can keep it."

Minutes later, she was curled up on her twin bed. It was too small for the both of them, she realized unhappily. Athan sat on the floor by the bed, leaning against it.

She snuggled under his jacket he'd spread over her. Between it and his shirt, she felt awash in his scent.

She saw him by profile as a shadow in the dark. She laid a hand on his broad, thick shoulder.

"Are you going to stay all night?" she asked.

"No. But I'll stay until you fall asleep."

She didn't want to fall asleep. She didn't want to waste any moment she had with him. She asked him more questions, and he answered them briefly.

He must be very tired and wanting to go, she thought.

She was tired too. And when she settled back on the pillow, she fell asleep.

* * *

She was out like a light. Athan sat by her side for another couple of hours, listening to her breathing. It brought comfort to him, somehow.

He had to get his issues under control. Had to take charge of his own personal demons. Now. His pride could no longer stand in the way.

He knew just who he needed to talk to. There was someone he'd been avoiding the issue with for years, since that person had come to his side in his greatest moment of need. Back when something happened that had damaged him inside and out.

With everything else - Banner's deadly, cruel campaigns, the torture in Heaven - he'd been able to keep a small part of his soul untouched. But what Rose had done with the relic, nothing was left untouched.

Since then, he could tell a decline in his work. He was getting sloppy. That would mean the death of him, sooner or later. And maybe those he cared about. He thought of Bel.

He stood up, looking down at the sleeping woman in her bed. He leaned down and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. She moved and at first he thought he'd woke her up. But she settled back down, a breathy coo on her lips.

Athan left her apartment.