All Comments on 'Family'

glad to finally see the story start again. looks like it will really get interesting now that he is taking over the family. great writing hope to see the next chapter soon

This piece of crap should be in the "wanky wanky i'm a macho man" section.

Please ignore most of the anonymous comments. I post anonymously due to exspouse issues. Just wanted to say I have enjoyed this story line in the past. This is a excellent start to a continuation of it. Please continue.

Not good , just going to leave it at that/

dam good to read your stories again. can't wait till the next one.

Too much testosterone. Try writing a story about some normal people sometime. These superheros are boring as hell.

I'm a fan of D! Keep going! 4*

A screenplay made from this effort would have been seriously read and considered by The Rock about 12 years ago when he was first transitioning out of wrestling. It's not my flavor , but I recognize hard work has been definitely been input to appeal to the author's selected demographic . The aka _ Mike has not just " casually dashed this off. I wish the author good luck with whatever literary goal he is targeting.

Your story is like the first snow of winter it covers everything with a beautiful glimmering shean. Thanks for sharing this one with us.

No idea why authors can't write stories about people you meet in real life. War heroes, super-spies, Navy SEALS, mafia hit men, all around badasses. I've read about them until I'm heartily sick of it. How about a story about a car salesman, or an auto mechanic or a banker. Why does everyone have to be James Bond?

Not at all interested in reading about someone called "D." Give it a rest.

Your back to continue the story. You are one of the few authors here I would actually pay money to read.

Good start.

Looking forward to the continuation.

"No idea why authors can't write stories about people you meet in real life. War heroes, super-spies, Navy SEALS, mafia hit men, all around badasses. I've read about them until I'm heartily sick of it. How about a story about a car salesman, or an auto mechanic or a banker. Why does everyone have to be James Bond?

Not at all interested in reading about someone called "D." Give it a rest."

Most people lead very boring lives which no one cares to read about. How boring would Game of Thrones be if it was mostly about the baker and the blacksmith? It would be a two our story rather than an 80+ hour epic story.

You ball-less anonymous commenters who like to slam other people's stories are a joke.

My main issue is that you're trying to make what is clearly a mafia shitbag into hero, and offering no real action or intrigue. The worst part is your doing that cheap stuff like S7 jihad where this guy is already the most powerful man in the and can threaten the entire FBI and the USA by proxy with impunity. Where is the challenge?

Hell where is the plot?

So Far- So Good! Good plot line and enouvh detail that it keeps you looking for more.

no plot no action no LW.

I'm thoroughly enjoying this story so far. The only disappointment is that there wasn't more. (yet)

I liked the cliffhanger. Promises to be a lot more fun. Can't wait!

If this was Chapter 1, it should have said so!

As it is, it kind of petered out at the end. What was in the letter??

I also expected to see him make arrangements to take care of Francisco's sister-in-law.

You have my interest, I am looking forward to more.

Guy runs away because wife cheats, comes back and blatantly rubs it in cousin's face that he's going to be fucking cou wife. What a self righteous little pratt.

Waiting for the next parts of this story with interest.

are ones that need to stick together the most, TK U MLJ LV NV

Looking forward to more!

Awaiting more!

This particular part of the novel has no Loving Wife in it but it is a fine example of Godfather stories.

I see that your prior three series also didn't label Ch 1! PLEASE stop doing that!

When you submit Ch 1 of a multi-chapter story, put Ch 01 in the title, that lets us know that we might want to wait till we see at least Ch 02 before starting to read.

Next please...soon!!!!

Your implication that the stupid cousin took over because he's the cousin is silly, and underestimates the pragmatism of such familial organizations. First, there are no secrets. Second, there is no mercy; Jose would already be dead, or escaped. Third, all such families are pretty much played out by the third generation; just no fire or criminal enthusiasm; kids get lazy, and spoiled. And the decent family members make sure their children and grand children have better, and legal, opportunities. You can find descendants of mobsters, but almost none in the mob.

So this Godfather Lite saga is a bit tedious and sensational. And having a Marine working for criminals? You should be ashamed. I'm sure it happens. They are unfit, and traitors to their country.

But you have tried to create a complex and dramatic tale and you have done a decent job, as far as it goes. I will wait to rate until I can tell how far it goes, and how well. Thanks for your efforts thus far.

stupid way of writing a story. No details of past events. Every paragraph stood alone as a different story. Hated it.

Look at the score dumbass. I think you shot your eye drop of cum from your 2 inch cock reading it.

Not sure what to make of this. Suddenly it’s Michael Corleone taking over after Sonny met the tollbooth. Other than a few missed edits (words should have been removed) the writing is great... just hoping that the story doesn’t suffer from Corleone comparisons.

It's a slog and entirely unrelatable. The score is entirely misleading. -ss77

Excellent story so for I love the bad good guys taking care of business.

Cliff hanger!

Love the story so far.

Wow, great start. Your writing makes one think that they are actual present. Really well written!

Well done so far.

Excellent story telling. Perfect pacing I must say. Most impressive.