All Comments on 'Family Business'

Glasgow girls do it better.

Hutchies, can't wait for next story.

long

Should have stuck to one male, one star for that.

Adding the other guys ruin it.

Got lost after the first family gang bang.

War and Peace is long too but nobody needs to read the lot in one go.

I thought this story was very hot (and really didn't mind the length!), but thought there were two annoying low-level problems with the writing which kept distracting me as I read. The bigger one is that some of the chapters switched without warning between first person and third person narration. The smaller one is that there were a lot of little punctuation errors --- missing periods at the ends of sentences, mis-placed commas, etc. These didn't really weaken the _story_ but they kept throwing me out of it, and a little editing might have made it much better.

Thanks very much for writing this!

This story has it all, not many subjects were missed and running a family porn business is a very cool idea. I do think it would have been better broken into the individual chapters, but that's up to the author. Great story, I hope to see more soon.