All Comments on 'Family Ch. 04'

You have me enthralled. I can understand your protagonists outlook. Family is everything.

Can't wait for the next episode. Absolutely captivating

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How is this garbage getting a high score?

Quite simple - you need an agile mind and a detailed memory + quite a bit of imagination!

Simple -- really!

19pvc44

I love this story! Proving you are one of the best on here, or anywhere quite frankly, you spin out a story bringing us in and then in further. Can't wait for the rest of the story!

I really hope that you do not lose D as a character!!!!!!

Should be a novel. Tom Clancy would be proud. 5*

even knowing his result. TK U MLJ LV NV

Someone called this garbage. To that person I say it is so real to life as one who knows such, that I know you aint be near the dark side to understand. This is a good read and yes writers are allowed to wonder around the script. Could make a block-buster film. But "D" has to saty alive, Elvis can take up the lead whilst D gets better then, work together to bring it to closure, with Ds mother made to account for herself. But should be double 5 can only give a max of 5.

.......addicted and wanting more!

this chapter is so surprising that words cant describe it. d lead his friend into a trap but who actually got trapped. d is shot and doesnt look good for him now. but now he knows who is behind everything. hopefully the next chapter is really soon as this is really getting good.

Each chapter better and better...The suspense is almost unbearable...4*

Looks like it me. Good job sir, fine read so far. Not all tactics lead to a sure result. Some have a degree of uncertainty connected to them. Know your enemy and know your self. Develop a plan and trust those two things. Train your people and trust them to do their job. Then what happens, happens.

Thanks for the excellent read and for sharing your story.

pappy

This one really hangs D over the cliff! It has been great fun up to here.

More with this aren't you? If not, great (but I'm not happy about it) way to end it

Need more of it......

Can't wait for your next installment. Your continued story has me anxiously waiting for the next chapter in this story.

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

Shit, what's the next part called? At least "Inferno" told us about "Infernos."

Damn.

there's no better bait than live bait, my guess is he knew he had to put all no the line to find out the truth. I hope he can start to live again.

Two years later and no finish? Sorry have to give it 1* for that...

I can not believe this is how this ends!!! They should not allow a story to be on this site until it is complete, with an actual ending!!!

As the one writer states, “Finish The Damn Story”!

Everybody hates a tease.

It was a good story spoiled by poor editing.

The timelines were all over the place and it lacked continuity.

...and how the fuck did the CIA get involved?

I enjoyed the series , I gave 5⭐️ for every part , but only 1⭐️ for this last part ! You really fucked up the ending .

Where is FTDS when you really need them.

Just a note, in case you decide to do some re-editing to polish the story. You use the word "in" when you really mean "on". Your man Elvis is supposedly CIA, but the CIA CANNOT conduct operations with the US or its territories, you need to use DHS (Homeland Security) or the FBI. At the first hint of CIA activity in the US, Congress would be screaming for someone's head on a stick. Finally, as others have said FINISH THE DAMN STORY. This one only got a 4, because it just stops.

Our hero gets shot? Great series, keep going.

I sure hope there is more? Please?

A truly awesome series! More!

Not done, over it. Started good ended like shit. And this is from another writer.... Never post a story until it is done. Chapter one should never be posted until the last word is written.

To those looking for the rest of the story, see The Wrath of the Daemon. I was pissed off as well about the abrupt ending, but it continues🤣

WTF?

As with everybody on the planet - life tends to get in the way. I hope you're alright and also hope for a next chapter. All the best.

I know, read the comments before writing one. Thanks DreamsOfHope for the pointer.