All Comments on 'Fantasy Coming to Life'

Why are they in the bedroom to play video games to start with? I realize this is just a story, but at least put some thought into it.

I did. That's kinda why I set it in the bedroom. I don't know about you but my computer and xbox are in my bedroom. It was to make point of the closeness of the friendship. When someone comes over to catch up, yeah stay in the living room, because that's normal. But, when your best friends come over to hangout, its not unheard of to just go to your room. Like, I know it's just a comment, but at least put some thought into it.

You got me. I wasn't expecting that cliffhanger. This sex scene is well written, but I feel you should have included a little more background. We know nothing about these characters and what motivates them. Do either of them feel any remorse whatsoever for betraying their husband/friend? It doesn't seem like it. There must be a reason for that, then.

This story could go in any number of directions from here, but it really would help if you took a step back and provided us with a little more detail on who these people are. Women generally don't cheat unless they feel betrayed or neglected or abused in some way. Men generally don't fool around with their best friend's wife unless there is a damn good reason for it. If you don't explain those motivations this story falls apart. Just my $.02.

@swingerjoe Thanks for the feedback! You are right, a bit of explanation would set it up better. Some character development is always good!

Total 5/5 but I do have a couple of minor hiccups. It seems pretty fast to go from watching a movie to having an affair on your marital bed and not even a shred of guilt. Then to go from being somewhat reserved to becoming slutty for him was...a bit much.

Please, please don't have hubby be a guy who gets off on being cuckolded. It's your story but an affair is better when there is guilt and hiding

asshole comments from dear annony!

@Whackdoodle Thanks for the ideas! I wasn't sure how much time should be spent setting up the story, so next time I'll definitely go into that some more. --

I definitely don't want the husband to get off on it. I am tied between having him completely unknowing?

Or having him find out, and demand that if they are going to ever get through it, "Ethan" needs to be out of their lives; but she has a hard time with that. Would love the feedback!

Pigs like you and your herd of cock csuckers are known worldwide for sucking cocks and drinking cum! Gave it a 5

Vote 1* for every story rated by 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐓 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐄 (that's what her clients call her) aka BONNIE/VASTIE aka ANON!

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say Anon has been cheated on a time or two...

His wife cheated on him day after day, month after month, year after year. But then dear annony is an old ugly fag!!!

to offset the asshole of LIT's 1 vote. Hey asshole how many times you going to post this shit?

In order to let you know the plot stinks and the tough readers are right... Not even a 1 * effort.

Love to see how the whores stick together in the comments!

Once again, your comments don't make sense. If your stated goal is to offset the asshole of LIT. that would require you trying to offset yourself. Huh?

good start.

Its just a story. Breathe. Go outside and enjoy the fresh air! Lol thanks everyone who enjoyed it, or didnt and had constructive criticism. I'll continue to write it :):)

Why is this slut married? She sure isn't in love or even fond of the husband.

This is only the beginning...And as @swingerjoe says we don't know anything about the characters...So we don't know how will those 3 react to the husband arrival...Those reactions will make the story to go up or down...2* for now

I really enjoyed this. The To Be Continued, was a nice touch. Great descriptions and lead up. Nice going.

Kind of simple and simplistic so far. They have the desire, they get the opportunity, but they were wrong thinking they won't get caught. Why do I think this was a setup? I smell the fetid stench of a cucky husband.

We all have fantasies, could haves, would haves and wish I coulds. Some actually get to live out a few. I think this story feed that desire for sexual adventure we all share. I am looking forward to reading more, and seeing where the story takes me.

Kisses

Danni

Needs it. Also, please indicate at the beginning, or in the title or tag line when a story is to be continued.

I love the sexiness of it. Not much of a fan of the cheating aspect but I like to think of my wife doing something like this. But I would like her to do it in front of me. We are talking about it and hopefully my fantasy will come true soon.

I need that part 2!! I am guessing that some of the nasties that left discouraging or disrespectful feedback discouraged you. I was the same, but some day I will add a second part to mine anyway. As for yours, I like it. I am hoping that she is torn, but that her lust drives her further with this guy. My fantasy is lustful women who lose control and just follow their animal lust. Sexy stuff.

There's a hole in the forest preserve with this stupid bitch's name on it.

On the other hand, who gives a shart about a worthless 20-something marriage?

This is a fail.

Sorry not erotic just sad.

Friends for years, married for years, and this is the best they can be? And a married couple has a condom at the ready? Is that typical? I hope Ethan wears the Xbox up his ass on his way out the door. The writing style does not convey much background, so it is hard to imagine getting enough history to justify this horrible behavior and supporting an affair. So discovery, retribution, and whether the marriage survives seems the best course.

A hot first chapter.

The shame is that there was a original story.

Another slut and a manwhore decide to degrade themselves and disrespect those who care for them. Sadly, it is a common tale, and there is nothing noteworthy about these two pieces of trailer trash.