All Comments on 'Fate and Destiny Pt. 02'

Laura's death marred and detracted from your story.

I so didnt like this story! He must not have loved his wife if his first action was to ring Laura! Both of them behaved like spoilt brats! I felt it was harsh to kill Laura tho! People split up all the time! Doesnt both of the damaged partners deserve happiness with faithful future partners! Why doesnt he just move in with Laura! Margaret deserve better than that! I loved how margaret developed threw out the story! When she did take him back she didnt make his life hell, which many would! She actually told him to get a back bone!

Oh how the mighty may fall. One day we are at the top, the next struggling to recover from crushing blows. Thanks for a good read

Like too many stories on Literotica, there's too much at the beginning and not enough at the end. While I admire envy even Romantic1's grasp of the therapist-minister milieu, it went on entirely too long. (At least we didn't have to learn about various types of printers in the process.) The portrayal of the infatuation/love between our "hero" and Laura was very good, however.

What I didn't like was killing her off, not because it doesn't happen, but because it seemed out of character. She had a vibrant personality and strong emotional responses but also a sense of self-preservation (or so it seemed to me from your description) that made suicide somewhat implausible. Anger at Gary seemed more likely.

And what about Gary? Our "hero" may not have wanted to make excuses for his behavior, but wouldn't shouldn't Gary pay for his self-righteousness and causing his wife's death?

got off easy. Stupid wife, there are times when forgiveness is NOT the answer.

One of the best I've read, because it dealt in depth about being human. Ignore the negativity from the so called critics and keep on writing especially if they are of the same standard as this one

I write as one whose memory of where bridge abutments interrupt the hard shoulder was so poor that I gave up and went home.

The public annihilation of her character by her husband would have destroyed this insecure person that her need for a lover rather than a sex buddy clearly demonstrates she was.

If this story deters just one person from walking down the path of using another's weakness for their own gain; well done, Author.

R1, as a writer myself, I found it interesting the way that the structure of "Fate & Destiny" evolved. I am guessing that you have had the idea for this story for some time? Maybe did an outline and drafted the first chapter or two? Then buckled down some time later to complete and polish it for submission?

In my opinion, the first chapter seems rather crude and inconsistent compared to the second half of Part On. Where you really brought together the story elements and made me care about these characters.

Frankly, I was not sure if I wanted to continue and read Part 2. But I am glad that I did. What you created, what you achieved with Part 2 is a succinct and powerful description of the fall of empire. Not a word in excess or an ambiguous phrase. Your writing style used with deadly precision.

If I was teaching writing, I would use this story as an example of close to written perfection I have seen.