All Comments on 'Fever'

This is an interesting story. I can't wait to see where you take it. It has the right mix of mystery and intrigue. I love it. Thank you for writing it. voted 5 stars

I like it. Keep 'em coming.

Good start,and looking for chapter 2 sooner than later,lol,,,,have me hooked,,,thanks and keep up the good work,,

But you can't seem to do math. She went from 16 to 24 in 11 months. Please explain how that happens.

After that I couldn't read it, I was too distracted by the impossibility of it. Also, before the fight outside the ghetto, she's a vampire who has celebrated her 17th birthday for 100+ years. Yet, she's looking forward to marrying a guy who's not much older than her 24 years. CONFUSING!!! Couldn't wrap my mind around that, so I couldn't complete the story. Good luck with your writings.

1. I never stated that Ayanna was 16. Maybe I said the guy she'd been betrothed to is 24.

2. As far as her being ok with Tavis being 10 she is ok with that because he is mature for his age. If he thought any younger she would be irritated with him. I never said that she was going to marry him at that age. I fully intend to wait until he's of age before anything happens between the two. So where you got marriage I said she found her mate. She knows who he is. What's wrong with that?

3. If you stick with the story I'm sure you'd figure out that I do have a well developed idea and plot, but it's not finished. Anyhow, if you don't want to read it that's fine. But don't go around making judgement on an unfinished story; Unless you are that type of reader that puts the cart before the horse.

Thank you anyhow for your critique and if I did put she's 24 I apologize for that. Although I don't recall writing that in there.

Yeah, I said she was 16 but I said that the guy she was being given to was 24.