All Comments on 'Fever Dream Pt. 02: T.B.D.E.'

Wow what an upgrade to an already awesome ch. 1 with everything a backstory needs and then some. I was actually prepared to be somewhat filler-esque 6 pages but you constructed an awesome tale of passion, love, dealing with angst the relationship of their brings, normal teenage life randomness, some very interesting insights from other characters, even some well placed humour pieces that spiced things even more, and in the end even some sexy time for the main couple. What else could a reader even want here....even Paul got a girl to urn his brain to much :)

Gave you a 5* this time even though there are a few errors (like your instead of you're and his instead of its etc.) but nothing to diminish the experience.

Awesome story, please next chapter soonest.

Hands down the best story I've read on this site (and it's only to chapters in!!!). I really cannot wait for the next instalment, thanks for the great read!

Great story so far

Hope you continue and they work things out together

While you did a good job with this extended backstory, it feels out of sequence and totally grinds the story to a halt, rehashing events we already know of from the first chapter. There is no need to expound on all the little details through a flashback. Flashbacks are a cheap trick and they always piss me off, no matter how well written. Just because you start a story in medias res, that doesn't mean it is necessary to go back and explain everything after the fact. It's a common mistake that many writers make, intending to begin a story filled with a drama and suspense, but you lose all of that momentum when you stop the whole plot to go back in time. It would have actually been more interesting if you had wrote the second chapter first, then skipped ahead 10 years, leaving your readers to anxiously wonder what has happened and what went wrong. Please don't get into the habit of flashing back in future chapters. It's much better to leave your readers asking more questions than having all of them answered.

I can't wait for the next chapter.

like literally...truly great story with the tender sibling romance that for me, makes it ten times hotter and erotic...you are an absolutely gifted writer who knows his way with words just like the best writers of this site...you could even give some published ones out there a run for their money...this here is like reading a bestselling erotic romance novel with sweet incest...can't wait to get to the next chapters/chapter...so please don't keep us waiting too long, I'm begging you...I'd religiously follow every chapters to see that true love conquers all no matter who you are...incest or not...I'm a hopeless romantic and sucker for such I guess...

Bunch of high-school people in a room, giving handjob-fucking each other under the blanket in front of everyone like that's a normal thing. I mean really, how normal is this? Story is good so far, realistic and not like some of the porn stories on this site-except that.

Great story and great writing. Really looking forward to the next chapter in Stella and Jacksons life.

So far the story has been very emotional as well as romantic and with a fierce love between twins Stella and Jackson. Hope this theme continues in following chapters.

"Bunch of high-school people in a room, giving handjob-fucking each other under the blanket in front of everyone like that's a normal thing. I mean really, how normal is this?"

To my recollection it was reasonably normal. Even 44 years ago when I was that age. I love the story.

I literally cannot wait for the next chapter. Best story I’ve read in a long time. I will be checking for updates everyday again lol

One of the greatest stories on this website so far. Hopefully you complete it soon.

good story idea with blocky writing that makes me feel like I'm stumbling while reading. Sometimes you use the same word to close together when you don't need to and sometimes you throw in too many words when you don't need to. I don't know if I'll finish Chapter 3 if that isn't fixed.

This is a beautiful story. Please don't leave this one abandoned. We need to know how they got there and it will end.

Both chapters have been excellent. Thank you for sharing them.

There was a one month gap between chapter one and chapter two. So far it's been three months since chapter two. Will we see a chapter three?

Where the next chapter? We waiting for too long

Sorry it’s taken so long. School got away from me for a bit and I had been suffering a rather long and hard to get out of bout of depression. But I’m feeling better now and writing again. Thanks so much for being patient.

Really liked the way the story was presented. You have got excellent writing skills. Eagerly waiting for the next chapter.

Where's the ending to much of the past.and.not.enough of what happened.when he got back. Don't know.why I gave it 2 stars. It doesn't deserve that. A story with no ending. Why write and publish it if.you.not going to finish it

It's been a long wait. Are you ever going to finish the story.. I loved it but, you're taking too long to deliver.

This is such a great story. I love the flashback and chance to establish perspective to the first chapter but I'm also dying to read the next chapter. There is obviously a lot of information seeded in the first chapter that insinuates what has happened and what might happen but I have a yearning to know. For sure.

Great writing style and beat with some nicely fleshed out characters. There are some errors throughout so I think you would benefit from someone reading it through for you to pick up on the small mistakes. Other than that, 5 stars, favourited and watching for the next chapter to appear. ;)

Just wow. I love this story.

Waiting for the next chapter.

Please make it fast.

I know its been a YEAR, omg. How pathetic of me, for real. I got distracted by other projects and writings, and real life a bit, but inspiration for this story, mainly how to write the story thats in my head, is in full swing, and i have it all ready. Just putting finger to keyboard. More is fast on the way, and i hope to have it all finished soon as well. Thank you all SO much for the patience.

Thanks for coming back and finishing it, man. Looking forward to subsequent chapters! 5 stars etc etc

Hi Spirt,

Really enjoyed this chapter and the build-up + the end scene was totally erotic. After chapter 1, its kind of nice to see how happy and in love Jack and Stella were before Jack left and the reasons both of them are so afraid and hurting so much now in the current timeline @ Jack's return.

Hot and sensual. Excellent writing and storyline. 5/5

I've never felt such intensity of desire and emotion in a story before. The setting, the characters all perfectly built up to it. I think this is one of the best romantic stories on this site, if not the best.

Every bit as good as the first installment. 5/5

Read this many times and its remains one of the best. The entire albeit unfinished series is spectacular. I wish the author the best, I hope all is well and this gets the proper ending it deserves eventually even if he can't himself is unable to. If only someone with even half the gift of storytelling could get the authors consent to bring the characters to some sort of finality. It really is too special to leave incomplete.