All Comments on 'Fight for Me'

But a story with this number of characters and level of complexity, the chapters really do need to be longer. Else your readers will be missing or forgetting crucial details by the time the next chapter arrives.

Still, I'm looking forward to more from you!

A beautiful story of what it is like to be in love, and to be unable to express it

VERY GOOD FUCK VERY HARD SISTER/BROTHER OK ????

This was a really good start to what seems will be a great story. You obviously have put a great deal of effort into your writing. Unfortunately, the better the author, the more obvious the flaws become.

These comments are meant to be constructive so please take them as such:

1. Is it Damien or Nick? Twice you switched his name. The first time confused me because Nick had never been introduced to us. After realizing the mistake, the second time it happened I just inserted Damien and kept moving.

2. This is not your average smut story, so Stephanie talking about her double D's is out if place. Actually, it's always out of place. Nobody thinks about themselves in terms of measurements.

3. Sometimes too much detail is a bad thing. Upon entering the house for the first time, Stephanie makes note of a collection of various artists playing Christmas music on repeat. How would she know this? Unless she sat on the porch for an hour or more, it seems unlikely. It would have worked better to just say that Christmas music was playing.

None of these are critical errors, and I did enjoy this. I am really looking forward to the next installment.

Mike

Excellent first story. I can't wait to read how Stephanie, Daphne, and Sebastian become lovers and a family unit themselves. Obviously Stephanie is in love with Sebastian, and it appears that Daphne is smitten with her sister, given the greeting she gave her at the door. It will be interesting to see how Daphne goes after her sister while Stephanie goes after her brother and then the ultimate coupling of all three. Looking forward to reading more.

Thank you for your support, I really appreciate it! *^_^* I've submitted an edit to correct the name conflict, I actually did decide on the new name after I had already written this chapter. My appologies!

I agree with trite_reader; this promises to be a complex and involving story, and the wealth of detail requires more room to breathe, so yes, the opening chapter is too short and seems almost compressed; hopefully it will open out more as the story progresses, but I like the pace and the hints and allusions to family tensions (more than a hint, really, with Kelly, and am I alone in hoping that, for some completely arbitrary reason she's suddenly kidnapped by militant Siberian freedom fighters and disappears forever into the frozen North?) and Stephanie's anxiety issues. I'm wondering if you're perhaps contemplating running with Sebastian and Daphne competing for Stephanie, with Damien sabotaging whatever he can, not because he wants Stephanie too, but because he resents Sebastian for reasons still to be revealed.

Kelly seems to be little more than background noise, a mosquito in the room; the real tension appears to be building between Sebastian and Stephanie, and I'm intensely curious to see where that goes, and what went before, and how, or if, they work it out.

Of course, I might have got it completely wrong and should probably sit down and shut up about now, but I do love a good 'family at war' saga, and this could be a top-notch one in the making. I'm not a huge fan of complex, immersive stories which develop and grow, then suddenly stop dead with a cop-out 'and then they all died, the end' kind of ending, so please do follow this through, not necessarily to a happy ending, but one with closure and some kind of conclusion.

5 stars for a very intriguing start, more, please, and soon.

If this is just the first of a multi-part story please indicate so in the title or with a TBC at the end.

Was that ? set up for next chapter/s ? Whatever it was wasn't very good all over the place with no explanation on anything or anyone only that Sebastian is the bees knees to one and all

Please do not stop.. great build up.. looking forward to the debauchery.. hoping it will be as descriptive as the characters you have drawn..

A very good start. This could certainly be interesting when two sisters make a play for their brother.

That they are a little more mature than some brother/ sister relationships makes it all the more interesting.

Well done.....a good beginning. Five stars.

Well, before diving into this, I did a check on the author's bio page because I noticed that they had only published 2 chapters of this one single story...7 years ago in 2015.

So considering that information and combining it with the fact that this installment is only two pages in length, I'm NOT going to let myself get too caught up in this tale. The author published just these two and nothing else for 7 whole years. 🤔 I'm willing to bet $5,000.00 right now that this is an abandoned and unfinished work that leaves us hanging without any ending. 💔 😢

But I'm still going to give it a 5/5. In spite of the numerous typos, it was a really good start for an incest tale. Such a crying shame that Pretty Wings walked away from it.