All Comments on 'Finals Week'

There's no category for Loving Daughters, so I guess this one had to go in Loving Wives. Great job - thanks for sharing.

I found the speed with which the loose ends were all tied off to be a bit unsatisfying, but the earlier parts of the story developed nicely. I also thought the story was well-constructed and competently written.

I found it interesting that it was written first person from the viewpoint of a young (rather hip?) woman, since I have an image of Kimi as author/commenter from the interactions in the commentaries.

Hip young woman is not the image I have in my mind.

Lue

I really, really disliked the narrator repeatedly talking to her mother like an infant . Yet the character was authentic and true to her prissy , goody - goody moral code that she's operating under. The mom wasn't anyone to cheer for either and yet it was disquieting to observe the role-reversal. Right or wrong - that woman lost sleep caring , sacrificed for the narrator and deserved a certain modicum of respect.

The commitment and verve the author imbued the daughter gets my respect. Would a mother submit so abjectly to tongue lashing from offspring regardless of right or wrong inherent in divisive issue ? Not in my world . Gifting a beach house to boot ? Must be an only child thing . That status is admittedly an area of ignorance to me

As a debut outing - this story has energy and pedal to metal commitment to author's agenda . The humor isn't Tina Fey level , but props for trying to inject some quips in plot . Body shaming the dangling balls of senior stud . Tsk tsk. I can only assume the narrator's father's testicles ride high and tight. But how exactly does princess know that ?

Bottom line : kimi1990 is fierce as an author. That is indeed 'part' of the equation to becoming a skilled scribe. It's a process. The first step has been taken. I thank her for sharing.

Different perspective. Enjoyed the heck out of it!

PLEASE Don't stop writing! Too many wimps in this category already.

Original perspective. She's pretty enlightened for her age, but not so much that she's implausible. I enjoyed the read and hope to read more. Thanks. *****

Nothing earth shattering here but it felt like real life to me.

No excuse for the cheating. If things get boring in your marriage, do something about it with your spouse! You don't cheat!

enjoyed the different perspective and was intrigued by seeing a story from a frequent commentator -- only one, she says?

The story was efficiently and economically written; I wanted more. I admit that I wanted a reconciliation, boo hoo.

Shades of Absolutely fabulous, the English comedy sketch with the prissy daughter and wayward mom.

(Unrealistic bit: would she really have been given an exam "bye" -- when it comes to reasons to "come home early", that was certainly original!)

Very, very nice Kimi! That SHOULD (though it probably won't!) silence those who refused to believe that you could write!

@LSD - "prissy , goody - goody moral code" - I would HOPE that that is the moral code that most people operate under! Debut outing? Only under this ID. Kimi has mentioned it the past that she has written before and wasn't believed. This was her proof of her writing ability.

@Nexttimearound Re: "Final" - While certainly beyond MY experience, she apparently knew the material to the professor's satisfaction, couldn't improve her grade, and would have to deliberately give wrong answers to hurt it.

You didn't have diarrhea of the mouth (or fingers?). You were very effective at showing the different emotions of those involved, without taking a million words to do so. One thing I found funny is the dad remarries when the divorce is final. He couldn't have been THAT broken up about his own marriage dying.

I promised Kimi that I would give her an honest review. Here goes.

Ever since I learned that Kimi had actually submitted a story to this site (under her own name...see, she claims to write under another name for some reason), I've anxiously clicked over to the LW section each morning. I couldn't wait to see what profound words of wisdom this brilliant author has for us lowly, unworthy scumbags. After watching her belittle and disparage every author on this site (outside of her clique) for the past 2-3 years, I was anxious for her to show all of us amateur hacks how it's done.

After all that building anticipation, I gleefully immersed myself into the World of Kimi, and when the ending came, I was left with a feeling of...

Is that it?

I mean...after all of her adolescent insults and trollish comments to other writers all these years, I was expecting some profound lesson, a morality play, a tense drama with complex characters, wry humor, a completely unexpected plot twist, a searing parody, smoking-hot erotica, or...I don't know, something.

Instead, we have a story where the lesson we learn is one we already know: cheating is bad. There are consequences to cheating, and yet there weren't any real consequences for anyone in this story. The narrator got the beach house. The husband escaped from a loveless marriage and got a hot new wife almost immediately. And the cheating wife escaped with what I'm certain was a very generous share of hubby's life savings.

So...what was the point to be made here? Beats me.

If nothing else, I was hoping to see some of that famous Kimi sass in this story. She had a golden opportunity to showcase her legendary wit, thanks to a protagonist who is a spoiled, snarky, 22-year-old. Instead, the most creative slurs this character could spit from her petulant mouth were "douchenozzle", "loverboy", and "douchewad?" Seriously, I could have pulled aside any random 22-year-old off the street and they could have come up with something more colorful. It seems like lazy writing.

If I had to summarize my review in one sentence, I would borrow an often-used quote from Kimi herself: "It didn't make me puke." Because the cheater ended up divorced, the BTB crowd will approve, and the score (which is Kimi's primary concern here) will be high. If it's approval she seeks (and we know she does), she will get it. The quality of the story is irrelevant. Only the outcome matters.

As for the wordsmithing, it is pretty straightforward prose, which is what I would expect from someone who claims to work in the legal department. I think we can safely put to rest the rumor about Kimi and Randi being one in the same. Randi writes circles around Kimi. As for the editing, aside from some curious placements of commas, it seemed clean for a short two-pager.

I was hoping that this story would answer some questions and solve the mystery of why Kimi has chosen to keep her alter ego a secret. Instead, it only spawns more questions. The primary question is: out of all the stories Kimi could have told as her "one and only" statement to the Lit audience, why this one? Maybe this is her real life story? That sure would answer a lot of questions! Kimi claims that I have enjoyed the stories of her alter ego. I have to assume that her alter ego is a far more interesting writer than her "Kimi" persona.

Of course, the final question is: have I typed all of this for nothing? Will Kimi follow in the footsteps of her Literotica heroes? Or does she have the intestinal fortitude that they lack?

5* - For a new writer great. Could have been better but really after reading comment from Swinger Joe I wanted to give you a 10, then I thought about it.

Wanting Joe to read and comment just caused a WTF moment. I you want to get better as a writer he is not the standard. Find another north star.

5 stars. Emotionally it's a rock. I mean there is no connection to the characters. They were cardboard cutouts. So that drops the score to 3.

I try not to comment unless a story has something to draw a comment from me. Sometimes it's just a comment in support of an author who supported my stories, other times an author (like my favorite female writers) rips my heart from my chest with his/her words. this case, the drama surrounding the people involved (the author, her friends, her detractors, and the rumors about her being the other author that she praises) made me curious about this.

It wasn't bad. It was well written and didn't have any errors that I could see. It didn't make me feel anything though. Those are the stories that interest me. The outcome (cheaters getting their comeuppance) doesn't really matter much. I didn't find that emotional pull with this story. It was just that...a story. Not a bad story, but just a story.

I think it will be widely accepted though. It is a well written consequence story, so many will not share my ambivalence with it. I wish the author good luck, and encourage her to keep writing.

Refreshing POV, believable interactions, satisfying outcome. Altogether entertaining.

Many thanks

As for the commenters...just amazing how some of the regulars reveal their narcissism every time they reach for the keyboard. Just can't help themselves looking stupid, I suppose.

Enjoyed the different point-of-view. Also loved that the daughter DID have a moral code and a commitment to honesty and integrity -- far too many people are willing to say "meh, whatever" to cheating, lying and deception. She was not, so good on her.

And no cheating P.O.S. parent is "owed" respect by an adult child. I say that as a parent myself. I chose to have children. I required obedience and specific behaviors while they were minors and I was supporting them. I did my best to model the behavior I wanted them to learn. But then I've NEVER considered my children to be my chattel, and my choosing to bear whatever burden (and joys) that come from parenthood is not a grant of privilege to me if I turn out to be a scumbag.

My children are now adults, on their own, and they only have to respect me if my behavior is worthy of respect. Once they became adults, their respect is ALWAYS earned, NEVER owed.

Shame too many parents, "leaders," and government officials don't understand that.

Looking forward to more originals from you.

Please keep writting. Characters were a bit wooden, but for a debut very good. Emjoyed it and 5 stars because I did.

dam, lack of communication can sure fuck things up.

thank you for this read

The decisions we make and the actions we take in life have consequences. Some good. Some bad. This story underscores that basic truth. Some call it karma. Some call it cause and effect. There are many names.

The characters were a little wooden and two dimensional but the litany of excuses from rang true to life, at least for me. I found the story to be interesting, provocative, and well written. I didn't have to skim or skip sections and will enjoy a reread in the future.

Thanks kimi for this contribution and for the depiction of the true meaning of consequences. I would love to know where to find your other work.

kudos

Interesting to have a BTB story from the daughter's viewpoint. In terms of plot, glad to see the father land on his feet. I am sure mom will eventually find somebody. In terms of writing, ok.

was the subtle humor sprinkled throughout the story. This was one snarky, smart, and quite sarcastic daughter, Good job!

And original too! I liked it 5* worth.

I liked the story premise, but it didn't seem to go anywhere. It was at a point where you could have turned this into a real story instead of dipping out of it with a hurried ending.

Super Moral Girl saves the day! Is this what bible-thumpers consider erotic?

Seriously, this is neither erotic nor entertaining.

Pretty good. I have to agree with the overall consensus of the crowd. Definitely a step in the right direction, but couldn't connect with the characters. Also, the daughter felt a little too grownup for me. Now, i don't have kids of my own (yet) but I have a few nieces and nephews. I couldn't picture them as this little girl. But like I said, I have no kids so I may just be spewing bullshit that I know nothing about. Wouldn't be the first time.

The daughter is older than I thought. See? Bullshit I know nothing about.

Best story I Read in this category today...by a long shot.

Like it or not. SOME people (a lot if you believe those who study such things) fall out of the deep ,emotional love they began with. Communication should be the immediate first response not cheating which is an excuse. Neglect in a marriage is also not a good ,stand alone excuse for not discussing what could be happening. This one might be on dad.

Not all endings can be happy for ALL. Thanks for sharing this story

Ed

great debut.

Great work kimi1990!

I've got a daughter born 1990. Wish she was as mature as our hero.

Cheaters can be people who make mistakes.

Hardly more than 1 out of 100 though.

Most are just egoists.

Pityful people to be around, at best.

There was a comment about Samantha sounding too mature for her years. She was about 22; about to graduate from undergraduate school and reminds me of the sensible girl my daughter was at that age. She didn't have to put up with cheaters for parents, but she did have a set of divorced parents who she had to walk a narrow line to satisfy without showing favoritism and she has done well at that for the 15 years since. I found this to be a very realistic story and even without the tricky endings and unrealistic reactions to the events that occurred it was a very satisfying read. I look forward to more from Kim 1990 (is that her birthday?). 4*

*Even if not particularly erotic. Things happen in life, marriages begin and end, lies are common. Having been there once, I can relate.

Mine was the result of being drafted and used as cannon fodder, an oversexed wife left home alone. The results of that situation is very close to 100% predictable, just the way it is.

Sliding apart can happen so slowly as to almost not be noticed, until finally something that cannot be undone happens.

Catching the concerns early can solve a lot of problems.

The key of course is communication, and in a good marriage anything can be discussed. But the other truth is, we all have secrets, even in good marriages.

Enjoyable tale, and different.

I like different.

Thanks,

MGM

First it all good story. In Vulcez's gem story "How Are You?" (I do not understand why that story is not among the first 20 best stories) the young daughter shot the cheater Mom and the loverboy with her mobile and she sent the photoes to her father. It may be she was too young (14 years old) in Vulcez's story and the daughter character in this story was older than Stacy in Vulcez's story, so she wanted other solution for the encounter of cheating sex scene.

Except for seriouse illnesses of the spouses, old ages and special circumtances (for example) for the kids to live together without any love each-other is not good thing. The divorce is free and both exspouses can get possibility for the restart.

I think the cheating lifestyle or cheater supporters are tired from the commenters who say the morality POV. I am not, but I think the cheater supporters should attact from other POV.

I think the cheaters are thieves mainly those cheaters who do not want to leave the marriage at once. The cheaters stole the freedom of the other spouses to decide on their own fate. The other spouse is faithful, struggles for the common life, etc without knowing about the other spouse's cheating and the cheater steals the freedom of the other spouse to decide on:

1. To start divorce

2. To start a divorce after the kids became older (for example 10 years later) I am curiouse why this type stories so rare everywhere?

3. To start secret contracheating (non declarated open marriage)

4. To start a declarated open marriage

5. To start a reconciliation

6. Other solutions....

Extrem violant spouse, deep depression could be the few exceptions...

BTW I recommend Vulcez's gem story "How Are You?" to read for everybody cheater supporters and anti cheaters alike who did not read.

Great first story; something most of us can relate to. Couple drift apart; passion dies and the wife craves excitement and validation. End of marriage.

I really hope you write more excellent stories like this.

Interesting story about a marriage, and the effects of time and life over feelings and communications between spouses. Everything moves, changes, evolves... Nothing stays the same.

This was a great view into the travails of everyday life without all the trappings of a complex storyboard. I thoroughly enjoyed it especially the smooth flow of dialog. That's often the hardest thing to nail done well and I think you hit it out of the park in that regard.

MFH

This may be one of the most realistic stories one this site. One of the biggest pluses was the point of view, exploring the affect this can have on their child, even of the child is an adult.

I liked your ability and this was a very readable story but the payoff was unsatisfying.

It was a very bland ending. Didn't care for the passiveness of Barton and no real repercussions for the cheaters besides the mom getting an easy divorce.

You got talent though and I really liked the angle/perspective of the daughter narrating.

Very real to life. The language was very clear and precise. I loved the generational Whore vs Ho. Thanks for the read. I hope you post more. *****

I thought that using the perspective of the daughter was interesting, but of course it was a limiting POV since she couldn't know what was going on in private between her parents. I also liked how dialog was the focus and narration was kept to a minimum. It made the action more immediate and fun to read. I agree with the others that the ending was short, pat, and a bit dull. Nevertheless, I hope you continue to write under another username if not this one.

The point of view is refreshing. Unique to use this POV and the dialogue made up for not knowing the intimate parts of the parents' conversations with each other. I feel it could be much further explored. The ending is rushed, almost as if you were trying to stick within a arbitrary word count limit. Take the idea further.

Thank you for sharing.

Several commenters have suggested that this story takes a "unique" viewpoint of the daughter of an adulterous parent.

A somewhat more complex story from a similar viewpoint (in this case the son) is Javmor's 'Standing on the Cliff' (I think that was what it was called.)

In both stories the first-person narrator had reached adulthood. A story told by a younger child would really take some thinking through. Are there any in the LW archives?

Lue

Luedon Vulcez's fantastic super revenge story "How Are You?"

There are a lot of stories from a child's pov on adultery -

One of them is "Child of Adultery"... and many, many more. Heck, StangStar did one, I believe the Wanderer did one.. and there are more.

This one was... okay I suppose. Not a lot of new territory, a fair bit of snark and hidden emotion, a fair amount of overacting on the Mom part...

But, better than anything I've posted, yes?

Green-something

It shows that the children of cheaters are also hurt and explores an aspect of cheating that is often overlooked.

You have proved that you write very well and silenced all those who said over and over that to comment you must be a writer...But now you have created a bigger problem! Who have read this will be urging you to write a lot more stories! So you ended one problem and started a new one! 😂 4*

Enjoyed the story very much! The writing was of course excellent and I enjoyed the pacing and bits of humor throughout. I always prefer a deeper emotional tie with someone a story but the character's personalities and the POV restricted that. Even so, enjoyed the story. Thanks!

Killian

...their daughter and only child running interference and talking practicalities to a mother that has clearly deluded herself so completely, she actually thinks she can make her serial perfidy OK.

It was a bit brisk, tending to curt. You might want to smooth it out some.

And you might want to carry on a bit. Mom's gotta have something like a life going forward. She's financially OK, and besides her wholly out of character affair, should rationally get back on her feet and move on. Also, daddy seemed to marry quickly. Was there more to that story?

Ah, well. Carry on, lad, carry on.

Having the daughter doing the catching and confrontation was an interesting change. Having the mother spout the typical bullshit excuses portrayed her as a stupid slut, which does not jive with the intelligent mature daughter. You did a good job of illustrating how weak the marriage was, with the father being a detached workaholic and the mother a stupid shallow self-serving slut. It would be nice if they both end up with better marriages the second time around, which is always a long shot.

The emotional energy between the parents was stunted, since you never portrayed their personal interaction and dialogue. I guess in the end there wasn't much there to try to salvage, especially if the husband replaced his ex-wife that quickly. If the husband had truly cared about the marriage he would not have confronted his wife himself, so I cannot blame the wife for feeling unwanted. But as the daughter says, first comes the discussion, then the separation, then the strange cock.

Thanks for a sound ethical story, and thanks for allowing anonymous comments.

Good one. And fuck LueWHORE and swingerFAG!

I liked the POV of the smart-ass daughter. Nice. I thought the dialogue was very well done. Unfortunately, realistic dialogue is all too rare here, so kudos for that.

I was very surprised at some of the recognizable names, both authors and commentators, who enjoyed the story. Thank you very much, gentlemen, and lady. Other than that, about what I expected.

Douchebaggery from swingerjoe, condescension from Luedon. Sorry to disappoint, Joe, but I haven't been here for two to three years, more like one. Also sorry to spoil the conspiracy, it was fun while it lasted. No, I'm not as good a writer as Randi, but then, neither are you. Lest anyone believe I solicited Joe's comment, that was all on his own. Delete you, Joe? And deprive you of one more opportunity to display your total lack of working brain cells? Deprive the world of your wit and wisdom? Never happen.

I know you're dying to know my "alter-ego," Joe. Sorry, you'll just have to keep wondering. Just know that your next comment may well be on my next story. I get a chuckle out of that every time I think about it. So do those in my "clique." Sorry, we took a vote at the last Sycophants Anonymous meeting, but someone voted "nay" at your inclusion. I suspect Foolscap, but the voting is, of course, anonymous. Too bad, the donuts were delicious.

Sorry you didn't enjoy the "hip young woman," Luedon. No, I'm not a hip young woman. I do have three nieces who are, and they keep me up to date. One of them, you know very well, and she's very much a "hip young woman." No, 1990 is not my birth year. I wish.

@my man: Thanks, I tried.

@LSD: Sorry, you misunderstand my agenda. I wrote the story, hoping to be entertaining. That's my agenda. I know you expect more, but some of us do that. Just write entertainment. I'll leave remaking the world in my image to those who believe this is the place to advance those causes. I'm not that good, so I'll just stick to entertainment. No hidden agenda, just a story about a girl who had her life turned upside down and did her best to keep her life together.

So, thanks to everyone who read and commented. I had fun. That's what it's all about, for me, at least.

Five things I learned from this story.

1) Kimi isn't 27 years old. All this time, I had just assumed I was dealing with someone who was so immature that her idea of wit is anonymously insulting complete strangers on the internet with unimaginative grade-school-playground taunts. But she's actually someone from my generation? Or older? Wow. That's embarrassing.

2) Kimi's niece is a writer here. It couldn't be Randi, could it?? (Another hot conspiracy theory for the masses.) Randi's comment on this story is conspicuous by its absence (unless I missed it.)

3) Kimi hasn't been commenting here for years -- it just seems that way, given the boorish repetitiveness of her comments.

4) A lot of readers enjoy stories about a marriage that is already dead before the story begins, where there is no emotional investment, no emotion displayed by any of the characters (aside from petty snark, which the readers interpret as "humor"), and where there are no negative consequences for anyone involved. Who knew!

5) Kimi's obsession with LW scores must mean she's disappointed by this one. Barely a 4.0. Hell, my RLMann story, which I wrote in 20 minutes with my thumbs, is carrying a 4.3 last time I checked. Better luck next time, sweetie.

I maintain my theory that this story is Kimi's actual life story. It explains her low self-esteem, her mommy issues, her use of shallow insults as a self-defense mechanism, her inability to commit to just one person, her abandonment issues, her "us against them" mentality, and her penchant for building coalitions of support. A psychologist would have a field day with Kimi.

Glad to provide you with information. You need to know things? I'm your hookup. Sadly, most of your knowledge seems to be acquired by leaping to conclusions. How, pray tell, did you imagine that a 27-year-old could have a romantic relationship more than ten years old, go through law school and build a career in that time?

Of course people enjoy stories about life changing events. That's the heart of drama and tension. You, of course, build your tension on sluttery and the pain the significant others feel at having deceitful and treacherous companions. Others seem to prefer more plot than, "We were sluts and it was great!"

No, not disappointed in the score. That's about where I would have scored my story had it been written by someone else. Unlike you, I don't imagine that everything I write is a classic literary masterpiece. Just a story, remember? Good luck with that next world class novel.

How am I supposed to know how long you've been in a relationship? Do you think I know every detail of your life story? Do you think I care?

I must have missed the "life-changing events" in your story. The wife clearly didn't care much about her husband or her marriage, and escaped from a loveless marriage with (presumably) half of hubby's stuff. How did her life change, except perhaps for the better?

The husband cared so little about his marriage that our heroic protagonist revealed the ugly truth about Mommy's affair, he merely shrugged, yawned, and explained that he already knew about it. He was hardly ever home, and there was no love expressed in this story between husband and wife. Hell, there wasn't even a single line of dialog between the two of them! So what "life-changing event" did he endure? Hooking up with a hotter new wife within seconds of the divorce?

As for our narrator, she had already moved out of the house (or was on the verge of doing so), and ended up with the beach house in the end, so I'm not sure how her life changed in any profound way.

If you were attempting to write about a "life-changing" series of events, I'm afraid you failed miserably. I'm still trying to figure out what was the point of this story. Was there a point?

Hey, Joe,

Could I have the title, you don't show up in author search. I'd love to check out this "all thumbs story," though I'm afraid it might live up (down?) to the term.

All you have to do is search for the username: RLMann. But here's the link: https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=2154759&page=submissions

Better hurry! Kimi is frantically one-bombing it to get the score down as we speak!

At that meeting I refused to acknowledge the existence of that guy and the aussie woman. In fact there was an pretty large contingent in opposition. I wasn't one of them.

Joe, that link doesn't work, and the author search says "No items found."

Please just give me the title.

Found it.

I don't know why the link doesn't work, or why the search function of this site doesn't work for you. The authors name is " RLMann" and the title is "Honey, We Have to Talk."

Here's another direct link: https://www.literotica.com/s/honey-we-have-to-talk-1

I'm not sure why you're asking. Do you think I'm lying about it? LOL.

I wrote that story to prove the point that it's extremely easy to get high scores and kudos from the LW audience. Not only has that story continued to score high (my highest-rated LW story, in fact), but I received some very complimentary comments -- some from rather famous/infamous people. If one of the anons hadn't "outed" me within hours of it's publication I can't imagine who else may have awarded me kudos. Perhaps even you yourself!

And just like that, like magic!, poor RLMann's score drops! I'd like to thank whoever did that for proving my point -- AGAIN!

That story really is the gift that keeps on giving!

We suddenly have been transformed into a billboard to advertise the stories of tools? Joe fails to see the irony of falling into the same trap he crows so much about suckering other fools into. You want to puff out your chest, write your own story and brag on that. This one is mine. Off you go now.

Bye bye, now.

Sorry, Foolscap. I have checked the minutes from the meeting. You did abstain. Extra cookies for you at the next for falsely accusing you. Grandma's recipe!

you think 4.31 is a high score? If it's so easy why not write a story that gets you a red H at least? Take a look at the scores of Ohio, qhml1, oshaw, LTW, and Rehnquist. You are not a pimple on their butts.

This is the best I've read since Play it Again Sam. I hope this author keeps writing. I gave it a five. Just blow the assholes like Swingerjoe and Luedon off, Kimi. You write way better than they do and they're just jealous.

Well , here I am 2 ( 3 ?) days late to the party . I'm afraid my Sycophants Anonymous card will be pulled for this .

Kimmi , that was a sadly realistic story . Samantha was the strongest personality of the three , but then again she had the least to lose . Being the child of divorce myself, I think it was entirely appropriate to hold her Mother accountable for her actions . I'm sure if the roles were reversed , and they kept her in the dark , well I'm sure she would have gone ballistic , and rightfully so .

I only wished Kimmi had went further in details, but I'm a greedy Gussie when it comes to a good LW storyline.

Hopefully , you'll submit many more stories , under any moniker you please . Really good storytelling is our goal here after all.

I'll bring some refreshments to the next S.A. meeting , I've got to atone for missing the last one !

Pretty realistic,it's just a pitty that most children don't act the way Samantha did,most kids act deaf,dumb and blind to theyr parents " mistakes" and hope it all blows over

Good story,full marks

Maybe because they are writers? Maybe because they has opinions? Maybe because them people no how to express there thots in a way that makes cents?

Or maybe, just maybe, they can read a story, understand the characters, and express a viewpoint.

This was an entertaining story, written reasonably well, that pointed out the frailties of being older but not being an adult. All from the point of view of the youngest member of the family. It's too bad she and her father were the only mature members of the family.

Thanks for writing this very interesting story. Based on the comments you stirred up a hornets nest. Well Done!

It's too bad this is a one and done under this user name.

Good character. I loved this daughter. I think everyone would like to have a daughter like this. Funny, good writing, good, if somewhat sadly realistic insight.

Nice story, straightforward and to the point. The daughter and father have a very relaxed joking relationship, and it is too bad the mother and father lost that ability to communicate. No navy seals and retribution in this story.

At first I was just going to comment on the story (fine job, but difficult for me to find any emotional hook), but then I read the comments and found out WHY the story was written. That really tightened my jaw. Not only do I see no need for anyone to 'prove' their ability to write before they are allowed to have an opinion, I am insulted by the very premise. Who the hell are you to tell someone their reactions to a story aren't valid unless they prove that they can write a story also? If this is actually your site, then I apologize. If it is not, in fact, your site, then you should probably just shut the hell up about telling folks who may or may not be qualified to comment here. Okay, I'm off my soapbox now.

I definitely got the vibe of a young person who had taken her parents' words about things like love, honesty and accepting the consequences of her bad choices seriously and was living her life by them suddenly discovering that her mother was about as total a hypocrite as one could be.

Barton's thought processes are a bit hard to fathom. It's been going on a month, his wife's asshole lover has been bragging about it to others, but he's hoping she'll stop and they can go to counseling to save their marriage. Then his daughter finding out sends him to a lawyer for a divorce? How exactly does one more person finding out change things?

One minor nit: you never tell us who Chloe is. She just suddenly appears when Samantha decides to pick her up on the way to the beach house. She disappears just as suddenly about two-thirds into the story.

Not a great follow up but probably more realistic

my thoughts on the matter...

I have two content oriented concerns. Nothing serious, but does anyone know a real estate estate agent who leaves their phone off? And dad knowing? I might, like Kim here, write something where dad knows and blows it off, but in real life I would've been apoplectic! No make that positively apoplectic. I know if my wife ever caught me I'd be positively dead.

I thought the writing style was pretty good; could've used a few more semi-colons.

Of course I fived it.

The story had it's own charm. HDK got that pretty good.

Jedd Clampett (carvohi)

Lincoln Navigator? At least it wasn't a Mustang.

Very nice story; kept me interested throughout, caused me to pause a couple of times and consider the behavior of the characters. A very interesting perspective. I would have enjoyed a bit more of the cheating mother/despairing daughter relationship, especially after Sam had to deal with Jill the Slut all semester.

I thought your story was well written, interesting, and painfully realistic. I'd like to read more of your work and look forward for the chance to do so. Very nice. Thanks for your submission. Now we just need to figure out your new nom de plume. Thanks!

My title sums it up. Amazing how in a fiction world personalities and tempers can flare to such extremes. (Kimi and Joe, you know who I'm writing about.)

Good story, but the endng was much too rushed.

So who is Kimi1990's nom de plume on Literotica?

Perhaps a Legends 3 for Labor Day! Guess Kimi1990's secret pen name?

A common fault among writers. They have an interesting story. It plays out progressively. From a grammatical focus, it is well written. But the ending is sped up and lacking in details.

I enjoyed it but I agree with the criticism that it ended way too quickly. Most LW stories do, so it isn't unique. The post climax aftermath and denouement reaIly gets short shrift much of the time.

It was very well written and flowed very well. There was one section (mom came to the beach house?) where I had trouble following who said what but it's late. Sue me.

The POV was unique but since when does a college senior have all of the answers? The characters were somewhat formulaic but, honestly, in the LW section it is hard to find something new. Adultery just isn't that creative a topic. Visceral? Gut wrenching? Oh, heck yes. Creative? Ummm... that's a tougher sell.

Hard working unavailable father: check. But I like how the protagonist accepts and acknowledges this.

Realtor mother: check. (I know only one housewife/realtor)

Pervert co-worker: check. (Is every office setting a Peyton place?)

A very good effort; I applaud your hard work. Thanks for writing.

why is the other guy still alive???

Her excuses are all over the place: First, they're "celebrating" a big deal; but how does that explain the trek out to the beach house? Then she's lonely, her husband works too much.

"It's been going on about a month," - So much for "It was only one time," and "I don't want to hurt your father!"

"I don't know if we're 'in love' anymore. We've been drifting apart, Samantha." - So end it!

I know attorneys are also very busy, but she apparently doesn't have a problem with him being "married to his job!"

This story is not a formula piece. It is well written and fair to both members of the marriage. The daughter doesn't really sides. She just insists that her father needs to know. She prefers that her mom informs him, but if Mom won't do it, Sammie will. Her stand makes perfect sense. Sammie will make a good wife for someone. The fact that she only wants to take those vows one time speaks volumes about what this incident taught her and about her own moral values. Five stars.

The thing that struck me about this story was pretty realistic, well balanced, and not over the top. The author states this will be their one and only story. That is too bad as I would certainly like to read more stories by this author.

If this will be your only story as was indicated in comments as I found your story to be novel n approach.

I found story by clicking on your link by your comment on laptopwriter's ''The Urge''

I planned on sending feedback expressing my agreement with your insights

As you mentioned lewddoggy in that comment I cringed when I saw he commented on your story.

Where he figures changing a daughter's diapers as a baby gives the mother a pass when she cruelly betrays her husband, then repeatedly lies to daughter, I cannot fathom.

Respect is given when earned. I was grateful when as a youngster my mom put a band-aid on my boo boo.

But if I witnessed what this daughter did my mother would forever lose my respect

Lsd is apparently still off his meds

The section of your story wherein the daughter recognizes all those nice things she loves having come at the price of

her father sometimes missing events because he has to work hard to provide them should be required reading for all wives and children.

Such a wonderfully honest insight!

To the statement of one commenter. The mother no longer deserves her daughter's respectful language.

For no other reason than her choice of lover.

Everyone else knows he is perv and brags about his conquests. For the mother to defend him as being a nice guy demonstrates her lack of respect for her husband andher daughter's iintelligence.

Send me an email, and I'll give you a link to the userID I actually write under. Of course, you have to promise not to tell.

Cheating on your spouse or partner is imho untolerable,if a person wants to cheat be at least honnest about it so the other partner can decide what to do,cheaters loose all respect of family or friends ,consequences can be a real bitch,just ask cheaters

I has just come back to ask if you wrote using another name.

Read your comment but do not know your email address.

So I will send you mine using the Contact tab on profile page.

puts stumbling blocks in your psyche that are not EZ to overcome, TK U MLJ LV NV

You say "Cheating on your spouse or partner is imho untolerable"

I think most people would agree with that sentiment.

But what do you define as "cheating"? Most LW stories seem to define it as the physical act of penis entering vagina. But could it occur without that physical act? Could that act occur without it being defined as cheating?

Lue

Ps: I define it as an emotional act rather than a physical one.

Last first. If both spouses agree beforehand that either one or both of them can have sex with someone else then there is no cheating.

You state cheating is emotional act. That would need clarification. Some on this site claim females become involved with man other than husband almost always because of an emotional need or desire, while mean seek only physical gratification. As that school of thought comes from females, it comes across as a rationalization and a philosophy that female cheaters have a ''more pure'' reason. My personal experience puts the lie to that thought. All but one of the wives I know who have cheated did it for purely physical reasons. Three of them had a ''club'' in which they traded lovers and sought out new lovers for each other.

If you mean cheating is emotional attachment that leads to the physical. That is one thing.

If you mean you can cheat on a purely emotional level, that is another.

Both are cheating to me. Some think if nothing physical occurs, then little if any harm is done. I disagree.

When a spouse reveals the deepest problems of the marriage to someone else, excluding professional help, that is the worse betrayal of trust.

Once a wife seeks out or allows another man to become her confidante, the marital bond must surely break.

Certain things in a marriage are private and are to be shared and discussed with only the spouse.

Bearing your soul and discussing marital problems with anyone other than your spouse, without spouse's permission, does nothing to solve the problem. You end up drawing closer to and relying more on your confidante and distancing yourself from your spouse.

If you have a toothache, you ''talk'' to a dentist not the hunk at work. If your car's engine trouble light is on, you talk to a mechanic not the short-skirted cleavage displaying personal assistant.

You are wasting your time. Luedon has asked that question hundreds of times. She isn't interested in an answer. She's interested in trying to convince people there is no such thing as cheating. The only thing that matters is selfishness. You get yours, and to hell with everyone else. She wants to make it impossible to know what cheating is, so she can justify her own cheating in the past. Don't bother. No matter what you say cheating is, she'll have some sort of psycho-babble rationalization about how you can't really cheat. What do you expect from someone who gets their wisdom for life from a seagull?

I agree with much of what you have said. Obviously, if both spouses agree to a way of behaving, there is no 'cheating'. But if one doesn't know what the other is doing, and the 'cheater' has decided to not tell his/her spouse, that is a quite different kettle of fish.

And your comment "All but one of the wives I know who have cheated did it for purely physical reasons" is what I find most interesting. I accept that 'purely physical' is the reason for illicit sex given in most of the LW stories I have read, but it is far from my personal experience.

The social pressures against a wife's committing adultery are strong. (Stronger, I suspect, than the social expectations of a husband.) I believe that, for a wife to have sex with a man who is not her husband, she must be in a complex emotional state that opens her to the possibility of committing that illicit act.

Her motivation is not purely physical.

However, we are still looking here at the physical act of a penis entering a vagina where it's not supposed to be. I don't see that as the crucial part of 'cheating', because cheating can occur without copulation.

Whether copulation can occur without it being considered cheating is the more complex question.

I wrote a story about a woman having sex with a man who was not her husband without first asking her husband's permission. She eventually suffered guilt and saw it as cheating, but her husband didn't. He didn't think that a wife needed to ask permission to do what she did. Was she cheating?

It's a complex question and it's not one addressed by the average LW story.

Lue

The Story and the comments.

First variation from the norm was the POV. Many times an unsuspecting husband comes home early to surprise his wife and is himself the person being surprised. Here we are traveling with a daughter coming home early from uni to find her mum with a man not her husband.

Unique.

Watching the daughter bounce between her parents acting in the role adult mediator further emphasizes this entertaining POV.

Congratulations mystery writer on a well crafted one and done variation on a theme.

Equally amusing and enlightening are the comments. This vignette stirred up a spirited debate over the definition of cheating. So many commenters, so many opinions.

Thanks

Not sure that I like Barton or his response but, he's not my character and it's not my story. I had to skip a whole lot of comments from folks that are no longer on my approved reading or consideration list.

My two cents..... The cheating is secondary to the outright lying and lying by omission. A lot of time can be wasted in empty philosophical rabbit chasing about reasons for cheating, etc. At the end of the day, lying and deceit are pretty easy to identify and those who rationalize them give tacit endorsement.

Kimi1990, thank you for this thought provoking piece. It's well written and consistent. I had a beginning, middle, and end (which is more than most stories offered here) and the characters were pretty believable.

Or what do you see as 'cheating'?

Lue

I see you commenting in my space as cheating. What part of "I find you despicable" do you not understand? Go comment somewhere else.

I love you too, Kimi.

Lue

can't be all bad. In fact, the story is a damn fine piece of writing. Cardboard characters? Check. Cliché-filled story? Check. Thickwitted cheating wife? Check. Olympian, in-control superDad? Check. Race to a finish? Check. All done deliberately.

Realistic dialogue? Check. Molto appealing narrator? Check. "Am I the only adult in this family?" Check and check again. Keep writing, young lady, and I'll keep reading.

Spanning the decades from 70s to 2000s and two different colleges I can assure you many professors allow students the option of taking a final.

1972 Statistics class Montana State University-and others by that professor-students had option of taking final if they chose to accept current grade. If you took final you might better grade but you might lower it also. I had high B, the final was at night and was my last one that quarter. I took B and went to blowout houseparty. Met my future wife who was only in town that night on layover at friend's house before continuing home.

2001-2002 Helena College of Technology during voc-rehab. Was flat out excused from four finals over two semesters. One was College Algebra . Same as heroine I had top average in class having perfect scores on three tests and mid-term.