Finding a Full Circle

Amy was a little nervous about asking to use the pool the next day. She was wondering if the building management had a policy about guests. I smiled and told her I would take care of it. When they arrived the next day, I had a surprise for them. I had card keys to the pool and workout facilities for both of them as well as a locker in the ladies lounge. Sometimes it is good to be the king. They had a surprise for me, too. When they came out of the bedroom in their bikinis I knew I was going to have to increase the veracity my daily workouts. For a few moments I was certain I was having a heart attack as they left to use the pool.

After my week of exile was over we sort of fell into a routine. I would go to work and come home. Three or four days a week, the girls would stop by for dinner or a movie or just to chat. We usually found some activity for the three of us on Saturday or Sunday. The girls were also stopping by almost daily to use the workout facilities, though I was usually at work.

Rothchild was over the moon with all his new material to tease me with.

"If I didn't know your sorry ass so well I would think you were dating two women at the same time."

"Give it a rest old man, we are just friends. And for the love of God keep your depraved fantasies to yourself."

***

About four months into our friendship, I knew something was wrong. We were having a quiet dinner one Friday night at my condo, but the girls were unusually subdued. As the dinner was coming to a close, I just couldn't take the growing tension.

"Ladies, is there something wrong?"

"No, not really Gavin. Lydia just wanted to ask you a question but I don't know exactly how to phrase it."

"Amy, you know you can ask me anything. I don't have a filter when it comes to the two of you. Just ask away, as long as you promise not to get offended with my answer."

"Well, OK. Why have you never made a move on either of us? Do you not think we are attractive?"

I was a little stunned at the question. It took me just a minute to get my bearings.

"Well, hmmm, that is a tough one. Let me say that you are both stunningly beautiful young women. But I have never put 'a move' on you for two reasons. First, I don't want to ruin our friendship by offending you or making you think I am some kind of dirty old man hanging around a couple of hot coeds for eye candy. And secondly, I don't even know if I have 'a move'. I have never had the opportunity to use one. I wouldn't even know where to start."

Amy and Lydia just stared at each other for a moment. Then Lydia smiled and nodded. Amy took a deep breath and slowly let out a sigh.

"Gavin, Lydia and I want you to know that we really enjoy spending time with you. And we both like you a lot."

"I enjoy our time together as well."

"But, Lydia and I are also looking for someone special and we want to make sure that you are fully aware of what that means."

"Ladies, I meant what I said. You are both extremely attractive and I can say with full confidence that neither of you is going to have a problem finding someone special. I think you will each find that person with no problem."

For a brief moment I thought Lydia was going to speak, she was almost pleading with her eyes for Amy to continue.

"I think you misunderstood Gavin, we don't each want our own special person. We want one special person, just one person. And, well, we think that person might be, no probably is the better word....we think that person is you."

To say I was shocked would be the understatement of the century. I couldn't even speak before she continued.

"But we want you to understand exactly what we are asking for before we take the next step. So, Lydia, wants me to ask you to take the evening to read some of her writing. She thinks, and I agree, that it will give you some insight as to what she is looking for. Then we would like to come back tomorrow and talk about what that means for us. And you. Well all of us. Can you do that?"

"I think I can, although I admit I am a bit confused. You just want me to read her stories?"

"Yes, Gavin, and then tomorrow we would like to talk about them and us."

"OK, I can do that."

***

I realize at this point that some of you may have the wrong impression of me. I have strong opinions about what I feel is right and wrong. That is true. Those beliefs always guided my actions. I also have strong opinions about how you should treat people that you care about, friends and family especially. Also, I have tried to show a kind face to strangers and people who I don't really know but with whom I have to interact with on a daily basis. However, I am not so self-absorbed that I think that all people share my opinions, so I had adopted a 'live and let live' philosophy. As long as someone wasn't hurting anyone else, I had no opinion how they lived their life. Did you want to have 19 kids and a wife and four dogs? Fine with me, just treat them well. Did you hate all children and want to be a confirmed bachelor for life banging a different hot chick every night? Sounds great. Just stay away from the married ones unless their husbands are into that kind of bullshit.

However, I could also be a real hard ass. Those who crossed me in business deals regretted it. Rothchild called it my Jeckyll and Hyde quality. He said I always gave people the benefit of the doubt, treated people with sometimes too much respect, but when someone crossed me he thought at times that I would cut their heart out with a spoon just to watch them die. He thought it was funny, I thought it was a big exaggeration. But I did have a temper.

I don't think I was that way before Ann Marie broke my heart. Up until that point I had never had someone betray my trust in such a dramatic way. That whole incident had made me intensely loyal to those who had earned my trust and extremely vengeful towards those that abused it.

Another question you may have is how it is possible for an average healthy male to go without sex for ten years. For that I have two answers, pain and porn.

For a long time after my divorce, I had almost no libido. I was too caught up in the pain of my divorce to even think about sex. Everything that reminded me, even a little, of Ann Marie made it difficult to breath. When a woman was wearing a short skirt and had nice legs or ass, I would think of Ann Marie. If there was a woman in a low cut blouse showing a little cleavage, same thing. Brown eyes, a nice smile, an even tan. All of it. It is hard to even think about a erection when you are trying not to cry.

I got through it by ignoring all of those things and concentrating on my studies or my work. It took a long time for that pain to dissipate.

When it finally did, I was horny all the time. I was just too awkward to do anything about it. I had always thought that meeting the love of my life so young was great, but I found out I had missed out on a large chunk of life's experiences that would have been helpful in my situation.

I had never asked a girl for a date. I had never picked up a one night stand. I had no idea how to capture the interest of a girl, let alone a woman. Unfortunately, that made too scared of rejection to even try. I had confidence in myself about most things but, thanks to Ann Marie, satisfying a woman wasn't one of them.

So I turned to porn. A lot of it. And I learned some things about myself. Ann Marie and I were married very young, and while I had always enjoyed our sex life, we were not very adventurous. Having to take care of my own needs left me a lot of free time to think about what I really wanted. With every sexual desire just a mouse click away, I was able to satisfy my curiosity and started to think that maybe I wouldn't enjoy such a bland sex life in the future. To be honest, most times I just thought I was fucking perverted.

Before I knew it, ten years had passed and I was beginning to think that I would never even get a chance to try some of the new sexual adventures I had learned and fantasized about.

So it was with that frame of mind that I read Lydia's stories. They were wonderfully vivid, set in historical tapestries that really showed off her creativity. Her writing was like poetry and she painted such a clear picture of her characters I felt like I had known some of them all my life. I learned a lot about Lydia from her stories. Most importantly that she was even a bigger pervert than me. I was rock hard from the very first story and I had to relieve my tension several times during the night.

***

When the girls arrived around noon the next day, I was excited to point of giddiness and scared that I was about to fuck up a couple of great new friendships. After we grabbed some drinks and snacks we made our way to the living room. Amy started right in.

"Lydia and I aren't involved with each other sexually."

"OK, I guess that is important to know but, to be honest, I hadn't given it any thought."

Lydia just smiled as Amy continued.

"Lydia and I have always looked out for each other. We are not just cousins. We have been best friends for as long as I can remember. When we started getting interested in boys we would always talk about what we liked, what we were doing with our boyfriends and more importantly what we wanted to do with our boyfriends. I was always drawn to the sweet, caring guys. Lydia always drifted to the more aggressive alpha male types. When we became sexually active and started to talk about our fantasies we both realized Lydia was a little submissive. I started to worry about her. She was worried, too. The guys she would date treated her great in the bedroom but like a piece of shit when they were out on a date."

"I guess while I understood what she needed sexually, and even understood the appeal of what she attracted to, I just didn't want to see her get hurt."

They were sitting right next to each other, holding hands now.

"Then our worst fears came true. One of Lydia's boyfriends got a little too aggressive, and no he didn't rape her, but he did have sex with her without using a condom, ignoring her objections. Lydia found out a few weeks later that she was pregnant. It did not go well and she had problems. To make a long story short, it was necessary to terminate her pregnancy for the sake of her health, but there were complications. Because of that Lydia can't have children."

There were unspent tears in both of their eyes.

"Having our children play together was our dream since we were little girls. We were only 19, and that dream was over before it started. But I love Lydia, more than a cousin and more than a friend. I knew she would always be a large part of my life. So we talked and decided together that our dream didn't have to end. I would have loved Lydia's babies as if they were my own, and I knew she would love mine as if they had come from her womb. So we agreed, that we would share my children and raise them together as co-mothers."

They were both looking at me, I suppose to gauge my reaction. I didn't quite know what to say. I thought Amy was describing one of the most selfless acts of kindness I had ever heard. I always knew there was an unspoken closeness between them, now that I knew the story, it just seemed to make sense.

"Well, I think that is one of the saddest, kindest most beautiful stories I have ever heard."

The both smiled softly.

"But then we had another problem. Before we could even approach someone about our idea we needed to find a good candidate and after a short time we were certain we would have to give up. The guys I was attracted to were too wimpy for Lydia. The guys that caught Lydia's eye were always too arrogant for me. I mean we were searching for the impossible: a handsome, kind and gentle, loving, mega confident alpha male."

"And then we met you," Lydia whispered.

It was the first time that Lydia had ever spoken to me. It made my heart skip a beat. Amy continued.

"Without even knowing us you solved our problem without even requesting a thank you. It was one of the sweetest things that anyone had ever done for either of us. And yet, you also just took charge. You identified our problem, gave us a solution, told us what to do and then left almost without a word. It was so perfect we didn't even know how to approach you without messing up."

"And then we met again and we got to hang out with you. We got to know the real you and not just our fantasy of you and it has been wonderful. And so we decided to take a chance and let you into our world with no secrets. That way if you thought we were crazy, we might have a chance to remain friends when you turned us down."

Now I really had no idea what to say. I was pretty sure that I was just offered a life with two coed hotties. There was absolutely no way this was going to work out for me.

"OK, that is a lot to take in. I need some time to think. Can we take a break? I promise that we will talk again at some point this weekend."

"Sure, Gavin. We understand," Amy replied.

They left quickly. I sensed some disappointment. I already knew what my answer was going to be but I wanted to give them an answer that was appropriate to their offer. They had given this a lot of thought and were clearly sharing something extremely personal with me. I wanted my response to match.

I ran a few quick errands to get ready for the night, returning to the condo around 3:00. I got my cell phone and home phone and went to sit at the kitchen table. I prepared a text message for Lydia, then I called Amy.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Amy, this is Gavin."

I hit send on the text message.

"Hi, Gavin."

"Amy, I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me tonight? Maybe dinner and a drink or two?"

I heard Lydia's cell phone ding in the background. After a few seconds I heard her gasp in surprise.

"Gavin, I would love to go to dinner with you this evening."

"Great, I will pick you up at 7:00 if that is OK with you."

"That sounds lovely."

"Fantastic, see you soon."

I hung up and waited for Lydia's response. Her invitation was much more of a risk, but I was hoping my educated guess would hit the target. My message said, 'Be at my apartment at 6:15. Do not be late. You will be spending the night. I need to approve your sleepwear so send me a picture of what you plan on wearing to bed.'.

Ten minutes later I had my response. Lydia had taken a picture of herself in her bathroom mirror. She was wearing a sheer black negligee and matching g-string panty.

I replied truthfully. 'Perfect'.

***

I was a nervous wreck for the rest of the afternoon. I really wanted things to go well. I was all in now, so there was no turning back.

Lydia was right on time. She was wearing a couple of layered spaghetti strap tank tops, white over black, and a very short tan skirt. Her black three inch pumps would normally have been very tasteful, but with her outfit seemed a little slutty. Her eyes were sparkling like I had never seen before. She was carrying a small overnight bag.

I brought her into the foyer and stopped her.

"I will take your bag to the bedroom. We won't need that for awhile. Wait here."

I took the bag from her hand and took it to the master bedroom. I returned with one of my purchases from earlier in the day. She was standing completely still as a paced around her looking her up and down. She was such a beautiful young woman. I desperately hoped that what I had planned would meet her expectations. I stepped behind her allowing my hip and chest to press against her body and then in a stern whisper I began to speak.

"Lydia, darling, I am afraid I have other plans for the evening. I am going out. But I need you to do something for me. I need you to wait here for me. Do you know why I need you to wait here for me?"

She gently shook her head from side to side.

"Well, I have a date tonight. And I am hoping that it will go well for me. But there is always a danger that I won't be satisfied. Do you understand?"

She nodded her head up and down slowly.

"But, if you are here waiting for me and I happen to be frustrated at the end of my date, I can just come back and use you for my release."

Her soft groan let me know I was on the right path.

"So you see, you are my back up plan, in case your cousin doesn't put out on a first date. Isn't that perfect?"

"Yes, Gavin," she whispered.

"Good. So let's make sure you will be comfortable, ok?"

I quickly secured one of the Velcro strap handcuffs to one of her wrists. Then I brought both her arms in front of her and secured the other side. Then I led her by the cuffs to the living room.

"Feel free to make yourself at home while you are waiting. I left a movie in the DVD player for you in case you get bored. Hmmm, what am I forgetting? Oh, yes. I remember."

I quickly knelt down and reached under her skirt and slid her panties from her body. I could smell her essence from the second I touched her skin.

"Please, step out of your panties, darling. If I come back too excited I don't want these to be in the way."

I made a show of laying her panties across the coffee table, then stood in front of her looking her in the eyes with my mouth a mere inch from hers. I let the palms of my hands slide roughly up her torso to her breasts. I could feel her nipples pressing against the fabric of her shirts. I started gently squeezing them between my fingers, increasing the pressure until she started to gasp and I could feel her hot breath on my face.

"Enjoy your movie, Lydia. I'll be home no later than midnight."

I kissed her on the cheek, left her standing in the room, and left.

***

I brought flowers to the door of Amy's apartment. When she opened the door I was speechless.

I know that every girl has a little black dress, probably several. Ann Marie always wore hers to special occasions. I can say that I had never seen one that looked as perfect as the one Amy was wearing. The halter top hugged her curves and dramatically plunged at the bust line baring an ample amount of cleavage. She had a small silver chain and locket around her neck and a matching ankle bracelet. Her fingernails and toenails were matched with a deep shade of red. Her hair was perfectly curled around her shoulders and her lips just looked kissable.

I handed her the flowers, a small bouquet of white lilies.

"Wow, you look amazing."

"Thank you, Gavin. For the flowers and the compliment."

My evening with Amy can best be described as romantic. We shared a bottle of wine and some sushi at one of her favorite restaurants. We took a short drive to one of my favorite night clubs for a drink. The tall round booths provided the perfect amount of privacy for a discussion. So we talked.

We talked about our dreams and our future plans. We spoke in general about our thoughts on children and family. We talked about partners and commitment. We clicked. I could feel it. Her eyes were glowing by the end of the night.

We took an early evening stroll through a local park holding hands. For a few minutes we just strolled and enjoyed each other. As we were standing at her apartment door I couldn't help but let the concern show on my face.

"What is bothering you, Gavin?"

"Why me Amy? I am more than a decade older than you, I am a divorcee. Every set of male eyes, and most of the female's, we passed this evening was practically glued to you. You could have anyone you want."

"Gavin, at some point very soon, I am certain you will understand but for tonight, can you live with me simply telling you that you are the one? I know it. There is no other."

"Yes. I can live with that."

Our goodbye kiss was tender and passionate. There was no excess or groping. Just to people letting the other know how much they cared. It ended with Amy's hands on my chest, her eyes on mine and her small giggle filling the hallway.