Finding a Full Circle

"Thank you for a wonderful evening, Amy."

"No, Gavin. Thank you."

She turned to unlock her door. She cracked the door a fraction of an inch before she turned back to me grabbed me by the back of the neck and pulled me down until her lips were by my ear.

"Fuck her, Gavin. Hard."

Then she smiled and left me standing in the hall.

***

I wasn't big believer in organized religion but I had always appreciated the pageantry and community of the big holiday church services. I had to convert to Catholicism in order to get married in Ann Marie's church and I had been a loyal holiday parishioner during our marriage, so it was oddly comforting to be sitting in my former church on an Easter Sunday. I had been a little confused about the starting time for mass and been sitting by myself in the back of the church for about 15 minutes when she sat down beside me.

"This seems like an appropriate place for a confession. Forgive me Gavin, for I have sinned."

"Ann Marie, I forgave you a long time ago. You know that."

"Oh, I suppose I do know that, Gavin. But you forgave me when I didn't deserve it and at a time I wasn't truly repentant for what I had done. But I am now, Gavin, I finally understand the pain that I caused you. If I could, I would give anything to not have betrayed you. Honestly, I always thought you deserved someone better than me. I am so sorry I couldn't be the woman you deserved. And I want to thank you for giving me my family back. Papa told me you were the reason they reached out to me. You are, and always were, such a good person, Gavin."

"Thank you, Ann Marie. I appreciate your apology and you are welcome."

Mass was fine. Easter brunch was filling. But, as the day wore on, I realized that, with Ann Marie and her daughter back where they belonged, there was no place for me in the Santos family. It was time to move on.

There were a couple of tearful goodbyes when it was time for me to leave. I think we all knew what my goodbye really meant. In a moment that brought my journey full circle, Maria Santos hugged me at the door in a manner that indicated that she understood more than she was letting on. When she finally let go she placed her hand on my cheek, closed her eyes, and stood silently for a moment. When she opened them again she spoke in a voice that only I could hear.

"God bless you, mijo. I will miss you."

***

My love life was abnormal. For several months Amy, Lydia and I fell into an odd pattern. We spent an enormous amount of time together as a platonic threesome. If Amy and Lydia had lived with me full time there probably wouldn't have been more than a couple of hours difference in our weekly time together. I was deliriously happy dating Amy, even though we never had sex. There was never more than some significant kissing and light petting between us. We talked about having sex all the time. She would just say that we would both know when the time was right.

I couldn't disagree with her. It just didn't feel like we were ready to take that next step. The truly abnormal part was that she had absolutely no problem with getting me all worked up and then sending me off to Lydia for some relief. Of course, I didn't put up much of a fight.

For her part, Lydia was glowing. Amy told me that from our very first coupling Lydia had told her that I was perfect. Apparently, I was pretty good at reading between the lines. Lydia was a submissive in every sense of the word. She needed to be guided, it made her feel safe and cared for. Amy had guided their day to day activities for years, a role that I slowly assuming. But Lydia also needed to be pushed to her limits physically and emotionally. That role was filled entirely by me. Her sexual release came from being used like an object, humiliated or degraded within reason and infrequently punished. When she was sexually satisfied, her creativity flourished. Her poetry was beautiful, her short stories were riveting. She did better in school and I could see an amazing increase in her self esteem. I would have been more leery of some of our extracurricular activities had there not been such a dramatic improvement in her life. She was just so happy. Amy told me Lydia was happy because no matter what I made her do, or called her or did to her, Lydia always knew that I loved her just as she was.

Apparently, it was the flowers that sealed the deal. I hadn't given any particular thought to giving my girls flowers. It just seemed like an appropriate gesture at the time. I had given Amy flowers at the beginning of our first date and at other random times because it was romantic. Lydia's flowers were more like a thank you, and because of certain circumstances, had to be delivered at a different time.

***

My first real date with Amy was wonderful, but heading back to my condo and to a waiting Lydia, I began to worry that I would not be able to give her what she needed. I shouldn't have worried.

I can tell you that the most powerful and the most dangerous aphrodisiac is control. I knew from the very first night what a huge leap of faith Lydia had taken to trust me.

She entrusted the use and care of her body to me. It was what she had written about in story after story. She wanted me to push her to the edge of her limits and yet remain in control of myself enough to always keep her from going over that edge. Over the course of the next several months I would spend hours contemplating how to care for Lydia in the very best way, but the first night was all instinct.

I made a point of entering my condo as noisily as possible. I found Lydia sitting quietly in the living room on the edge of the couch with her hands placed formally in her lap. I didn't say a word as I walked over to her and grabbed her by the handcuffs and led her to the back of the couch.

"My God, Lydia, that was a much better way to go on a date. I mean I could ignore all of the stress and worry about trying to get laid and just focus on treating Amy like a lady."

I gently but forcefully bent her forward over the edge of the couch.

"There was no need to try and corrupt such a nice sweet young woman like Amy when I knew I had a slut like you waiting for me at home."

As I spoke I pushed Lydia's skirt up towards her hips exposing her bare ass and pussy, she let out a tiny yelp but did not move an inch.

"Having you here as my personal fuck toy is going to do wonders for my social calendar."

I hastily undid my belt and zipper and dropped my pants and boxers. I reached up and started to gently wrap Lydia's hair in my hand. I started to give it a small tug as I continued.

"Can you even imagine what a relief it is to be able act like a total gentleman, holding a young woman's hand and gently kissing her goodnight, knowing that I can come home and bang the shit out of my own personal whore?"

Lydia started to orgasm almost as soon as my rock hard cock slid into her pussy. I was thankful for that. I had not had sex in such a long time I knew I would blow my top almost immediately. I knew that being used was what turned Lydia on, but I did not want her to go without satisfaction our first time together.

The harder I pulled her hair the louder she moaned. I started pounding into her with maximum effort as soon as my dick was fully engulfed in her juices. Her pussy was hot and wet and tight, though extremely receptive to my efforts. Before long I could feel her juices splashing against my thighs. Her whole body was shaking and her moans were emerging from deep inside her. I didn't last long, but I did hold out until the second that she literally collapsed over the back of the couch. I had to hold onto her hips to keep her from falling over as I emptied myself deep inside her.

I was exhausted after our short escapade, but Lydia had passed out. I was worried for a moment until I could tell that she was breathing normally. I carried her into the bedroom and laid her down softly on the mattress and removed her shoes and skirt. I undid the handcuffs, thankful that the padding had not left any marks on her wrists. Then I retrieved a warm washcloth from the bathroom and wiped the sweat from Lydia's forehead and our combined juices from her thighs and pussy. Her lips were engorged and must have been tender because she moaned as I finished wiping away our mess.

Then I climbed into bed and held her until I fell asleep.

When I woke up the next morning, Lydia was still sleeping soundly. I didn't want to disturb her, but that turned out not to be a problem because she was dead to the world. I took a shower, got dressed and placed Lydia's bouquet of flowers on a pillow next to her head.

The anxiety of not knowing how Lydia would feel about me when she woke up was excruciating. When Amy arrived for breakfast and Lydia still wasn't out of bed, I was near panic. When Amy decided to go check on Lydia and didn't come back to the kitchen for almost 40 minutes I knew I was doomed. When Amy emerged from the bedroom wiping tears from her eyes it was confirmed.

It wasn't until Amy crossed the distance between us, wrapped her arms around my neck and tried to stick her tongue down my throat that I started to feel better.

"You wonderful, wonderful man."

When Lydia walked into the room wearing the biggest smile that I had ever seen on her face, cradling her flowers like they were a precious child, I was finally able to take my first full breath of the day. Mission accomplished.

***

Leaving Omaha for the last time was an eye opening experience. I had been telling myself over and over that I had moved past Ann Marie's betrayal of our marriage. I had told myself that I had a new life. I had given myself a fresh start and new career. I had money and I had convinced myself that was enough. But this was what was missing. Real closure and real sense of peace. I knew what I needed now. Happiness.

I made one stop on way home, one store for two purchases. It didn't take long. Having money does have its benefits.

My girls were happy to see me and as had become our custom we all sat down to dinner. Our conversation was light and cheerful. Things were good for us, we had a good life. I was hoping to make it better.

Amy and Lydia cleared the table and went to kitchen to clean and load the dishwasher. I stood behind them for the longest time, just watching them work

together cheerfully enjoying a tedious task because they were together.

"I know why we haven't had sex yet."

Lydia turned to look at me, but Amy didn't move at all preferring to stay with her eyes glued to the sink.

"When you and I make love for the first time it will because the most important purpose a couple can have is to create life. To give a little bit of each of us for one beautiful and shared goal. That is why we will be together. But you will have an even greater purpose. You will be sharing your beautiful gift to give both Lydia and I what we cannot get on our own. Only you can give Lydia and I what we are missing. You will give us the most important thing a person can give to anyone. A child."

Lydia had a smile on her face but tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I think you have been waiting patiently for me to have that epiphany. And I think you have been waiting long enough."

I dropped to my knee and grabbed the box from my pocket. As I opened it Lydia started jumping up and down quietly clapping her hands. Amy slowly turned to face me with unshed tears in her eyes.

"Amy, will you marry me?"

"Yes, Gavin, I will marry you and I will love you forever with everything I have to give."

In a perfect sense of harmony Amy and Lydia hugged first. It was a perfect example of just how close they were, and how we all needed each other, each with our own unique set of gifts that when put together completed our lives perfectly.

I slipped the ring on Amy's finger and Lydia spoke her approval.

"It is such a beautiful ring, Gavin."

"Oh, I am not leaving you out, darling. You will be a permanent and prominent part of our lives and I don't want you to think for one second that I have forgotten that."

I pulled a second box out of my pocket and opened it so that my girls could see the ankle bracelet with a matching diamond set in the center of a Celtic knot. The three corners of the knot were each set with a birthstone: a ruby, a sapphire and an amethyst.

"Lydia, we love you and we need you. Please don't ever leave us."

Amy was really crying but Lydia was surprisingly calm as I placed the bracelet on her ankle.

"I am home, Gavin. I am not going anywhere."

Then, with a surprising amount of strength, Amy grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. She kissed Lydia on the cheek as she started dragging me behind her towards the bedroom.

"Amy, honey, where are we going?"

"To practice, Gavin. We need to practice."

Amy made love to me with her whole body that night. I had never even heard of lovemaking that passionate. She never stopped kissing me. She embraced me with her whole being. Our bodies were connected from our lips to our toes for the entire time. We rolled together to change positions. My strokes were powerful, long, and deep. She rolled her hips toward me to meet every thrust.

"I love you, Gavin. So very, very much."

"I love you too, Amy. With all my heart."

***

We were married three months later in a small ceremony. Lydia stood next to Amy, Rothchild next to me. Aiden James O'Conner joined us 6 months later. The twins, Sophia Marie and Steven Michael, arrived a year and a half later. Baby Olivia Rose completed our family 11 months after that.

Our boys looked like me, Sophia looked like a tiny version of Amy, and with a symmetry that could have only been divine, Olivia was Lydia's clone. Their connection was immediate and permanent. Did Amy or I get jealous that Olivia treated Lydia like her only parent and Amy and I like an Aunt and Uncle she was very fond of? Nope. Not for one second.

Amy and I lived as man and wife, but Lydia was never far away. There were never any wild threesomes, but every once in a while Amy would let me know, or I could sense, that I should spend some time with Lydia. Over the years our couplings became less frequent, but never completely stopped, as we got older and the children demanded more of our time and effort.

I had started my journey as a content married man, but I lost it all. My journey back to happiness took quite a while, but I found my place again.

Our lives together were as perfect as any set of relationships could be. I loved Amy, Lydia and our children. Amy loved me, Lydia and our children. Lydia loved Amy, needed me, and treated our children with the love only a mother can provide. Our lifestyle has never been broadcast to anyone, only our very close friends know the truth. And we live very happy lives. Together.