All Comments on 'Finding the One Ch. 06'

Solid storyline, well presented, the length of this segment is about right considering the chosen breaking point. Also the breaking point was appropriate for the tone of the story. You could probably safely write more chapters than originally planned, enhancing the depth as they grow closer.

As much as I enjoy this story overall, this particular chapter seemed rushed and in need of a more thorough edit. I'd rather wait a little longer for a chapter without glaring syntax issues.

Yet this looks like a first draft and needs careful editing, as each piece is too short to allow that much leeway on poor grammar, missing prepositions and spelling errors that automatic spell checkers cannot pick up (like contended instead of contented in the last couple of sentences).

But it felt a bit rushed and not properly edited. I would wait a day or two, but not happily, for a better composed chapter. Still a 5*.

Now I understand her reaction in the club when she fussed at him for not calling her before coming to the club. She was a frustrated emotional female. He can expect to get that shit again out of the blue in the future. Count on it.

coming.

I recognize that men are rather blind and idiots when it comes to relationships with women.

There is a saying that there is no better blind than the who does not want to see!

5 * for you.

I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

Of course Melissa was the nurse. That was clear a mile away. But the relationship revelations, with revealing outfits and promises, was way more rushed than needed. Hope you can see the pieces you could have inserted into this chapter. This was almost as short of a foreplay that the first girlfriend from Ch 1 wanted. And I feel as he was. To little emotional build up makes it fake.

Enough said.

Very good. Ok, one knows how it goes but it is fun reading it! Also, this author has a nice humourous way of writing. 5+*s.