All Comments on 'Finding You Bk. 02: Paradigm Shift'

Like the first chapter I skimmed through most of it because there is just too much there you really need to pull back the reins. Unlike the first chapter though I got the the bottom of the first page, saw it was 39 pages and went "No way - I am not skimming through 39 pages of crap". Sorry.

Would have been higher if you didn't make marcus into a slight submissive dom. Your first book set up marcus to be a dom that wanted to possess Tabby for his own, he was raging inside wanting to protect her and claim her. Yet this chapter you pretty much made him a sub fhat took if up the ass essentially from Cooper. Instead of objecting the idea of sharing Tabby, you made him just accept it easily with no real valid reason that would have change Marcus' mind.

Sure you can say they shared in the past to dom other subs but in that case Marcus wasn't emotionally attached to the person, hence the problem I see with the fact he accepted the idea of sharing Tabby so easily. Tabby and Marcus had a strong connection between each other, her sensing his present when he was around without seeing him and felt really drawn to him. She felt safe within his arms and wanted him around her. While marcus as was stated wanted to possess her like no other, pretty much his first time since getting betrayed by his ex.

Overall I did want the potential romance to continue just between Marcus and Tabby but since you added a third wheel into it, I was rather disappointed by the choice. What should have been a strong love bdsm story between two characters, ended up being more of cheap sharing story instead so far.

Amazing and well worth the 5*s. Love the long book style giving enough of a story without having to sit waiting impatiently for the next one. Keep up the good work and keep the chapters/ books flowing. Thanks.

You do realize where you are right? This is a porn site. NOT a literary blog. Get an editor. This was maybe 8 or 9 pages of interesting stuff. And that would be too many pages for this site. You really have a love for words but the story just gets lost in all the extraneous trash. No one and I mean NO ONE is going to read all these pages. And if they said they did, they're lying. Think about it. Not good. Not good at all.

I for one loved the long length. To the anonymous, I read every page and loved it!!! Ignore the comments about it being too long. Some people are into instant gratification and have the attention span of a gnat. Wanting to know the end before they've even really began to read. Maybe they should go read a comic, or even twitter where you can try to tell a story in 45 character. Keep writing the way you are you have followers.

Looking forward to wherever you plan to take this story... I enjoy your writing and DON'T think it's full of extraneous fluff. That being said, if you delivered it in smaller packages, you might have more readers and I might be able to get something else done during the day. Just saying.

I, for one, loved the length of this. You're a fantastic writer, and I'm waiting on the edge of my seat for the next installment. Please release it soon!

I read it over two nights it was amazing!!!!

I thought Book 01 was really good, but I think Book 02 is fantastic! I have nothing but sympathy for those who could not be bothered to read the whole book...It really is their loss. I noticed that you simply wrote 'The end' rather than 'The end of Book 02.' (As you wrote 'The end of Book 01.) Does that mean that there will be no more of this story? I certainly hope not! Your writing is incredibly sexy (found myself wishing I was Tabby) and I think the story line you are developing has so many ways to go... More please!

5* again. Jules

Can't wait for part 3

As soon as I saw 39 pgs, my Inner Goddess started doing her Happy Dance! Woo Hoo! It makes the difference between Erotica & porn. All those short pieces are so boring; they blur together. This length allows me to really get into the characters. Wish I could give it more than 5*. Book 3 soon, please?

To those who are wondering, yes there will be a book three! I forgot to add that at the end of Book 2.

Thank you to all who have been so kind with your praise, enthusiasm and constructive criticism. All have been much appreciated and taken notice of. I wish Literotica allowed me to respond to each comment but this will have to do.

I am still learning the craft of writing so I apologize for any errors that I missed. I will try to upload the next book in smaller chunks for those didn't like the large size of this last story. However, I won't be doing that until the entire story is completed. I will also be trying to work with someone to proof read it for me. This last story showed me that my eyes don't catch all the mistakes in spite of reading it through 3 times after completion.

I love all your comments, the good ones inspire me to write and the bad ones either teach me where I went wrong or help me grow a thicker skin. All help me to become a better writer so keep them coming.

Please take the time to vote on my story if you enjoyed what you read and if you didn't, send me a message as to why. I want to know.

Thank you!

Mysweetdragon1969

So glad to read that the story will continue. I felt connected and wanted to keep reading to see where things would go.

I would proofread for you if you like; I'm a former editor, albeit of cookbooks but grammar is grammar. One thing I noticed were a few places where the same paragraph was repeated.

Thanks for the entertainment!

A

I was a little put off by the long book size however I read it because I really enjoyed book 1. My problem is once I start, I can't stop until it is over HA! WOW am I glad I took the time to read this book. You were able to so easily bring the reader into your story and keep it interesting throughout the entire book. I am very eagerly awaiting book 3!

I absolutely love this book. It has everything that I love to read about. I can't wait till the next book.

Thank you so much for writing and sharing this story. I have read every page and I am looking forward to the next instalment! You bring your characters alive and make me care about them, and I love the scenarios you create for them. Changing the point of view to show us the thoughts and feelings of all the characters makes this a wonderfully compelling story. The psycho lurking in the background brings extra tension and makes this way more than an average BDSM story.

While I could never write anything as good as this myself, I do have a couple of things I would like to suggest if you ever decide to do a revision, or perhaps keep in mind for other things you write (do please continue!). These are just my thoughts, and you don't have to agree with me, of course. It mainly has to do with the pacing of the events in the story.

I would have liked to see more meetings between Tabby and Marcus/Cooper in the period between the attack and the Elysium party. They could perhaps come to hang out at the apartment with Petra and Diego a few times, which would allow them to show off their good sides to Tabby and flirt with her. That way the feelings (not just the physical attraction) between them would be better established before the party, and we as readers would get to know Cooper better. And her frustration thinking she has to choose between them could be highlighted more. In this same period (which could last longer than four weeks to give her time to heal), Petra could start telling her a bit more about BDSM. Knowing Tabby better would give Marcus more motivation for feeling so possessive about her at the party (beyond pure lust). As it is, they have only met once or twice, and yet he walks straight up to her on the dance floor, acts like a cave man and "dry-humps" her, before fingering her to an orgasm in public right afterwards. In my mind, this is not the actions of a responsible Dom, no matter how madly in lust he is with her. These scenes were great, but would have worked better if the two of them had more of a connection already, allowing her to signal that she would welcome something like this.

Then I would have made the evening of the party a bit less eventful. During that evening and night, she gets her first meeting with BDSM, is introduced to and accepts polyamory, gets her first orgasm with a partner, kneels and submits, passes out, is facefucked and swallows, loses her virginity, gets her first punishment spanking, lots more orgasms and ejaculations, her first threesome, and is collared, all in less than 24 hours -- at the hands of a Master who is supposed to be a model of responsible Domming. I loved every single scene -- but would have liked to see them spread out over several days or weeks. While the idea of a man who desires our heroine so much that he simply can't contain himself is extremely sexy (we all dream of that), as a sub I keep thinking that Marcus really needs to show more self-restraint. He should not have face-fucked her like that in the garage, and I personally would have preferred him to have dropped her off and left her at home that night, allowing her to digest what she already experienced, and to consider whether she wants to proceed with them both, now that she knows they come as a package. Then perhaps Marcus could have taken her out to dinner the following night to talk things over, and then home with him for some fun and games in the bedroom.

I think it was a good idea to keep her first night with Marcus only, and the whole Lydia drama was very well done -- those kind of insecurities I think a lot of us can identify with. Tabby is both resilient and fragile, and trust is not a switch that can be flipped on just like that. As experienced Doms, Marcus and Cooper should know that, and accept that things will need to go at a slower pace than their raging libidos would wish. This does not have to make the story feel slower, necessarily. It just needs to show that time goes by to give them all time to think about their new feelings and their desire for each other, and to give Tabby time to adjust to the idea of being in a BDSM relationship with two Doms.

I do hope my comments don't discourage you. As I said, I love the writing, the story, the plot, and all the scenes, and I am thankful for getting the chance to read such a great story. It's only because the story is so engaging that I feel compelled to comment. I am a sucker (literally, ha ha) for a responsible Dom and Marcus seems to know what it takes, but he needs to get himself under control. In my view that would be even more sexy -- it would give Tabby time to get as desperate to submit to him and Cooper, as they are to have her.

Wishing you all the best, and do keep up the wonderful work!

Hi, I wrote the long, anonymous comment below, and have now created an account so you know who it's from. I absolutely love the story and look forward to the rest!

I'm glad I stumbled upon your page. I really enjoyed Book 1 and 2, despite what some have said about its length. I appreciate some sort of story behind all the sex. Looking forward to Book 3 :)

I love this story, keep checking back to see if this weaves into Marcus and Tabby's weight of the ocean story.....

I loved The Weight of the Ocean... I loved Book 1... and I loved book 2!! The characters are great, and I am excited to see how Tabby devops and grows... the bad guy lurking in the shadows makes it very intense!

You are a very talented writer, so please don't listen to the negative feedback. There's a reason you're a writer, and you don't post stories on here to practice being an editor lol. I may be in a small minority, I don't know, but for me bdsm and being truly, madly in love go hand in hand. Another reason why I love everything about your stories. I can't wait for book 3.

It's been more than 6 months. Please come back?

Tabby needs training.

Marcus needs taming.

Cooper needs a kitten of his very own.

Excellent storyline and I chuckle every time Marcus' cock is berated for ruling his roost!

Where'd you go?! So many loose ends...please come back and finish this story! You mentioned in a previous comment that you won't be posting anything else until the entire story is complete. but please post something!

I love this story. Wondering when the next installment will be.

Hey, the story is amazing - i couldn't go to sleep before finishing it yesterday.

I see you've not posted anything in a long time - so if you please at least have the next chapters done - please post them or at least send them to me so i can finish the story but i think all of your fans would prefer you post them here :)

Stories like this are in short supply on this site. Please don't let this be another unfinished story on Literotica. It's really good.

First left a comment in 2015... This has been my third reading of both books. Just wondering if you ever were able to get around to Book 03, or if real life got in the way as it so often does!

It may seem a bit unlikely after this length of time, but Oh, how I wish the story would continue. You write so very well and there is so much more story to continue with - in so many directions...

Still hoping

Jules

the length is what drew me to this story, thank you thank you!!!! I hope there’s still a plan for book 3

Awesome story.👍👍👍💖

Please finish it. This story deserves it! Good writing!