Fineprint

"A human, on Borealis?"

She spoke English? Dennis noticed that she was wearing some kind of form-fitting jumpsuit, different from the decorative clothing of the Borealans he had seen in the market. It was Coalition blue.

"Remember what I taught you, Dennis," Xhe whispered ominously.

The stranger cackled heartily, taking a draw from her long pipe and blowing a cloud of smoke into the air. It smelled like tobacco.

"Don't worry, caretaker of the human, I'm Coalition." She tapped her clawed fingers on a metal badge on her breast.

Xhe exhaled and stood a little straighter, relieved, but still on guard.

"Pinwheel?" she asked. The stranger nodded, and Xhe turned to Dennis, crouching down to his level. "It should be safe."

"Join us, human," the stranger said as she beckoned to Dennis with a clawed finger. "I'm curious to know what you're doing here, of all places."

Dennis perked up. This was what he had wanted, to interact with the locals, to learn their culture and customs so that he might better serve as the ambassador. It was his job to understand the aliens and to work alongside them.

He trotted over to the table where four other Borealans were smoking similar pipes and nursing large, wooden mugs containing an unidentifiable liquid. It's a goddamn bar, he thought to himself, an alien bar. The stranger gestured for him to sit on a vacant stool, and he struggled up onto it, his feet dangling like a toddler in a highchair. The others eyed him curiously as the larger stranger returned to her seat, puffing acrid smoke and examining him. She was laid back and confident, clearly the Alpha of this small group.

"My name is Chaka, I'm a Lieutenant Colonel with the Coalition. I'm on shore leave for a few months while my carrier, the UNN Samar, is in dry dock." She took a long draw from her pipe, blowing a cloud of smoke in Dennis' direction as he did his best to suppress a cough. Xhe hovered nearby, watching them carefully. "So tell me, what is a human doing on Borealis? In this tavern of all places?"

"My name is Carlisle," he replied, "I'm the newly appointed ambassador to Borealis."

"Ambassador!" Chaka crooned, a wry smile on her lips. "And what does that job entail?"

"I represent Earth and her colonies in political matters concerning Borealis."

"Impressive, that's an important job. So what are you doing in this tavern?"

"I wanted to see the city!" he said excitedly. "I've been cooped up the in the embassy for a week while I adapted to the gravity. Now that I can walk around, I want to learn about your people and culture so that I can better perform my duties."

The other aliens sitting around the table had not spoken so far, he suspected because Chaka was clearly the Alpha. Based on what he knew about Borealan packs, to speak out of turn could be taken the wrong way. Not that it mattered, this Chaka seemed to do enough talking for all of them. Besides, they might not even speak English. He had to remember that he was on foreign soil, the vast majority of people that he encountered would not be able to understand him. He would have to rely on Xhe to be his interpreter in most cases. Meeting a Coalition soldier by chance was certainly fortuitous.

Chaka eyed him, her yellow pupils reflecting what little light was available in the dingy, smoke-filled room. She had leopard patterns in her bushy, auburn hair. He assumed that the patterning extended to her fur as it had on the other Borealans that he had seen so far, but it was obscured beneath her suit, unusually modest compared to the local fashions.

"I have just the cultural experience for you, Ambassador," she said with a toothy grin. She rose from her seat and walking across the room to another table that was stacked with containers and bottles. After a moment she selected one, a tall bottle containing a pink liquid, and brought it back to their table. She slammed it down and unsealed it, pouring a cloudy concoction into a wooden mug.

She slid it across the table towards him, and he hefted the large cup, sniffing the contents experimentally. Xhe looked concerned but did not rush to stop him. Chaka's cohorts watching him curiously, perhaps wondering what he made of the beverage.

"What is it?" he asked.

"This is a Borealan delicacy," Chaka replied as she took a drink from her own mug. "Roughly translated it is called raises the hair. It is a traditional spirit made from fermented berries and milk."

"Doesn't sound like anything I can't stomach."

The Borealans around the tabled nudged each other and watched expectantly as Dennis brought it to his lips. He took a taste, then a long draw, lowering the cup and wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve.

"Tastes like strawberry milk!"

Chaka stared at him for a moment, then slammed her fists on the table, making his mug jump.

"Not so much as a cough!"

"Was that supposed to be strong?" Dennis scoffed. "I've had ciders with more of a kick than that."

She poured him another cup and filled the mug of an adjacent Borealan with the pink spirit. This one looked reluctant but complied, taking a drink and then lowering the cup, sputtering and hacking. Chaka laughed, slamming the table again with her clenched fist.

"You see? That was the reaction I expected! Don't tell me you little monkeys can drink a Borealan under the table."

"Is that a challenge?" he asked. Chaka seemed taken aback for a moment, but then her lips curled into a smile, and she picked up her wooden mug in her clawed hand.

"Yes, yes it is." She lifted the mug to her lips and took a long draw. Her brow furrowed as she held it in her mouth, then she swallowed heavily, hissing like an angry cat. Her cheeks began to redden immediately, and she poured another round. The other aliens looked on in silence, either smoking or sipping their own, more mild beverages.

"What are you waiting for, Ambassador?" Chaka asked as she gestured to his mug. "It would be rude to issue a challenge only to back down." She sucked her pipe then blew smoke in his direction, Dennis waving away the cloud as he picked up his mug again. Xhe had taken a seat a short distance away on some kind of padded couch that protruded from the wall, watching him like a hawk.

Dennis had noted that there didn't seem to be a bartender. Did Chaka own this hole in the wall, or were Borealans trusted to take only their share and then leave appropriate compensation? Perhaps service members had special privileges in this culture so concerned with status and strength? Very strange.

He drank deeply, the liquid was smooth and milky. It was the first sweet-tasting product he had come across so far. He suspected that it was a side effect of the berries used primarily for their alcohol content, but he liked it. If this was supposed to be a strong spirit then Borealans had a very low tolerance for alcohol, a good vodka would probably poison them. Out-drinking this warrior might earn him some sorely needed street cred.

He finished off his mug and pushed it over to Chaka, the alien laughing as she refilled it.

***

Xhe was becoming concerned. Like all humans, the Ambassador thought that he was being friendly when from the perspective of a Borealan he was being provocative. This warrior had undergone training on the Pinwheel, and so she would have a modicum of tolerance for human behavior, but she was becoming rapidly drunk after he had foolishly challenged her to a drinking contest in front of her pack. She would drink until she dropped, or risk losing face. As his handler, Xhe wanted to call it off, but she would let it go on a little longer. The Ambassador must be allowed to make mistakes, or he wouldn't learn anything. She would pull rank if she had to. She was here on special appointment, in direct service to the Patriarch. No Borealan would question her authority. But for now, let him have his fun. Chaka's body language was becoming more and more suggestive, and knowing that she would lose the drinking contest, she would certainly try to gain the upper hand through other means. Xhe would have to be vigilant.

***

Dennis was hardly feeling the effects of the drink, but his opponent was clearly drunk. Her face practically glowed red, and her eyelids drooped as she slouched across the table, her mug clutched in her furry hand. She took another swig of pink liquid, which they had decided should be called hair raiser between them. She hiccuped, a comical sound coming from such a fearsome creature, then glared at her pack. She snarled something in the course Borealan dialect, giving them a command that Dennis couldn't understand. Reluctantly, they slid their stools out and got up, filing out of the tavern. They marched past the ever patient Xhe and into the street, the heavy wooden door closing behind them.

"Packs are so boring..." Chaka slurred, taking another loud gulp of her beverage. The bottle was almost empty now, and she picked it up, swirling the alcohol around as she watched it through the glass. "They do whatever you tell them, which does have its...benefits. But humans are more fun, always surprising you." She squinted at Xhe, pointing to her with a curved claw. "She's your handler, I suppose?"

"Xhe is my secretary," Dennis replied with a nod. "She helps me in my work and acts as a liaison to the Borealan government."

"Well well, you're higher ranked than I had guessed. Tell me, is she your subordinate?"

"Yes, insofar as a Borealan can be subordinate to a human." He glanced over at Xhe, she did not seem pleased. Was it some kind of insult that he wasn't aware of? He was only stating facts. Chaka put her hand over her mouth, suppressing a giggle.

"My, how salacious."

"Salacious? Why is that?" Dennis asked, taken aback. Chaka leered at Xhe, a lurid grin on her lips, exposing her sharp feline teeth.

"I suspect that your secretary has not been volunteering information on the rights and privileges of Alphas in Borealan society."

Here it was again, the Patriarch had alluded to something similar. Dennis wasn't dense, he had picked up on the sexual overtones of the conversation, but whatever rites or customs Chaka was referring too would not apply to him. He was an alien, after all, a foreigner.

"I'm not sure what you mean," he lied, taking another drink.

"You humans, always playing coy." Dennis jumped as he felt her prehensile, furry tail snake up his leg under the table. He coughed into his mug, choking on the liquid. "Is the alcohol finally starting to get to you, Ambassador?" she asked sarcastically. "Why don't you dismiss your secretary and we can have a little...cultural exchange?"

Dennis swallowed hard and looked back at Xhe. She was glaring at them, he could see don't you dare etched in her expression. She wasn't his boss, she couldn't tell him what he could and couldn't do, but he did value her counsel. Fooling around with a drunk alien who was twice his weight didn't seem like a sensible course of action.

He got up abruptly, hopping off the stool. Chaka's round ears swiveled to track him.

"Is there a restroom I could use?"

Chaka pointed her claw at a door to the far end of the room, and he marched off, adjusting his tie nervously.

***

He relieved himself in a stall, not unlike one might find on any human world. It appeared that the Borealans preferred a simple hole in the ground, similar to ones favored by some human cultures. As he washed his hands in a large basin that he had to stand on his toes to reach, Chaka pushed open the door and entered the room, swaggering over to him drunkenly.

She spun him around, pinning him against the tiled wall and pressing her thigh into his groin. He gasped at the sudden stimulation, trying to pull away, but she was too strong.

"I want to lodge a complaint with the UNN," she slurred. "The Ambassador doesn't want to fuck me."

He opened his mouth to protest, but she blew acrid smoke in his face. He coughed, trying to dispel the lingering cloud, and she brought her face down close to his. Chaka surprised him with a kiss, her pipe clattering to the floor as she discarded it.

Her rough, feline tongue parted his lips and invaded his mouth, roving wantonly as he struggled against her. She tasted of copper and ash. Her long tongue grazed his throat, and he felt his knees weakening under her relentless assault. She held him there for what felt like minutes, locked in a deep, shameless kiss. Just as he felt as though he might suffocate, she released him, her soft lips leaving his with an audible pop. Her oversized tongue snaked back into her mouth, trailing a strand of saliva.

He panted as he caught his breath, realizing that his face was burning. He was a goddamned paper pusher, he wasn't qualified for this! The tax man wasn't sexy, the Marines were the ones who had to fight off the girls on shore leave, not Dennis. He didn't know what to do in a situation like this.

Chaka snickered at his expression and moved her mouth to the side, pulling aside the white collar of his dress shirt with a hooked claw and planting a wet kiss on his neck. He shuddered at the sensation, her warm breath tickling his skin, her lips puffy and smooth. She pressed her thick thigh deeper into his growing erection and kissed him again, this time sucking as she pulled away to leave a red welt on his shoulder.

"I wanted to do this back on the station. Every day those little bastards tormented me, but they had me sharing a room with a Krell. What sour luck, never did get one of you apes alone for a one on one session."

She bit his neck gently, pressing her sharp fangs into his flesh. The pricking sensation sent a chill down his spine, yet despite the danger his erection only grew, becoming sore and hot. She groped his bulge with her free hand, and he winced as her fingers brushed against him through the fabric.

"There was this one trainee, about your size, figured he'd made me his friend or something. Made up a nickname for me that I hated, kept fucking with me all the time. Every day he'd greet me like we were equals, he showed me no respect. He'd try to eat at the same table, he'd grab my tail to get my attention, and he always followed me around, getting under my feet."

She moved up, sucking his ear into her mouth and chewing it, the lurid sounds filling his head. His heart was racing, he didn't know what to do. Should he call for Xhe? Demand that she stop? Some part of him wanted to let her continue, to see where this would go.

"What I wouldn't give for ten minutes alone in a locked room with that kid," she seethed, pushing her nose into his collar and breathing in. Was she smelling him?

"You can't just give humans a good swipe with your claws, they're too fragile. They'd bleed out, and then you'd be on the next jump freighter home. It defies all logic, drives you crazy, until you realize that you can fuck 'em..."

She dragged her hot tongue across his throat, leaving a trail of wet saliva. Dennis gasped, and she squeezed him again, her warm hand cupping his bulge. He could feel her pointed claws catching on the fabric, but her palm was furry and warm, inviting.

"Heard stories about that too late, didn't get the chance to break in that little trainee the way that he deserved. But what do you say? Want to help me make up for lost time?"

The door slammed open, and Xhe strode into the bathroom, her teeth bared in a snarl and her fists balled. She barked something at Chaka in the Borealan tongue, all hissing and spitting. Dennis couldn't understand the words, but her tone transcended language barriers. Whatever she had said, it sounded harsh. Chaka hesitated, then obediently backed away, letting Dennis loose. He stumbled forward towards Xhe, crouching slightly in a futile attempt to hide his erection.

"Did I not tell you never to leave my sight?" she scolded. "Maybe now you will heed my warnings." She turned to glare at Chaka. "And you! You're lucky I don't report this. When has such deviant behavior been so commonplace amongst our troops?"

"Report me for what?" Chaka slurred. "He never told me to stop, look at him, he can barely stand." Xhe spat something in Borealan and Chaka lowered her head, not quite submissive in her drunken state, but knowing that she couldn't argue. Xhe took Dennis by the arm and led him out of the bathroom, he felt like he was being chastised by an overprotective mother.

"That's enough culture for one day, let's go back to the embassy."

***

When they arrived back at the embassy, the suns were already going down, painting the sky in beautiful shades of red and orange. Xhe never let go of his arm the entire walk back, not until he was safely in the marble hallway and the great wooden door was firmly closed behind them. She released him, glaring down at him.

"Why must you make my job harder than it already is, Ambassador?"

"It's not my fault, she seemed perfectly friendly. How was I to know she would...do that?"

"It is not your place to know, it is your place to follow my instructions. I told you not to stare at people, I told you not to get friendly, and I told you never to leave my sight. Did you think I was joking?"

Dennis rubbed the red welt on his neck and stared at the marble floor. Why was she chewing him out? She was under his employ, not the other way around. Maybe he should have taken her warnings more seriously, these aliens were unpredictable, volatile. He understood that now that he had seen it first hand, and he was grateful to her for pulling his ass out of the proverbial fire, of course.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I guess I needed to see it for myself. I'll follow your instructions next time."

Xhe nodded her approval, seeming to cool off a little.

"It is partly my fault. I wanted to get you off the street before you started a confrontation, I should have paid more attention to where I was taking you."

"Well, you did get me out of there, so I guess we're square."

Xhe began to pace in the hall, seeming distracted. Her round ears twitched, and her tail flicked back and forth erratically as her claws clicked on the polished surface.

"You should get some sleep Ambassador," she said tersely. "We will try again tomorrow, maybe somewhere less populated. Do you require food?"

"No, no. I'll be fine, thank you Xhe."

He turned and walked to his bedroom, swinging the wooden door open and collapsing into his soft bed, the crushing weight of the gravity relieved. He massaged his aching thighs. It was getting easier, but he was still sore. Xhe was right, better to rest. Besides, she seemed agitated, and his close encounter had given him a new respect for the large creatures.

His mind wandered to Chaka and her unsolicited advances. Had they been unsolicited though? According to Xhe, his friendliness was provocative to a Borealan. Simply being amicable broadcast the wrong signals, signals that to a Borealan meant challenges or invitations. This was more than just learning a new culture or a new language, this meant re-learning his entire concept of social interaction. It must be done if he intended to succeed in his assignment on Borealis.

He lay back, trying to ignore the confusing fluttering in his heart and the surge of guilty arousal as memories of Chaka's rough tongue dragging across his skin roiled in his mind. What would have happened if Xhe had not come to his rescue? Did Borealans sleep with humans? Chaka has suggested as much, and in her drunken state, it seemed as if she had been willing to take things that far. Perhaps she would have hurt him, then again she might have rocked his world. He'd never find out now.

He rolled over to stare at the wall, aroused and a little resentful. He didn't know what he wanted.

***

Xhe struggled to control herself, she paced in the hall, clenching and unclenching her fists. The Ambassador had claimed to understand, but he didn't, he said one thing and did another. More human quirks, more contradictions. She longed to bury her claws in his supple flesh and punish him for his disobedience, but...