by FiveWolves
well written and composed story - and oh my... the last sentence sure made me laugh out in surprise.
I loved the fire/ice thing although, if I were to be completely picky, I'd have made more of it, the countess was a little too polite ("Eat me please" would just have been "Eat me" if I were writing it - but I'm not). I also loved the quick fling aspect, this was never going to be a love story.
If I have one (again, very picky) grumble then you have to be very careful with the East European accents or you end up with a caricature.
But a lovely story. Don't stop here.
Having just read your profile, I share your sentiments about the paucity of well written stories... I look forward to reading more of you.
K
Thanks for the feedback. The "please" was on purpose - it's part of what led Christina say it was too civilized for her. I love feedback and take it into consideration - thanks!
Loved your story. Well written and nice to read. Wished it could have been longer though.
Nice story, but would have liked more character development.
Nothing about the story made me care about any of the characters.
I'm Katrina. In Austria, I have heard of this, fire and ice. But not like in your story. The way I heard it, this is a technique that is somethings used by a Mistress on a slave, to deny her submissive an orgasm. This is a form of torture, where the Mistress brings her submissive to the brink of an orgasm and just before she goes over the edge, the Mistress or her friends will stop! and spray the submissive with ice water. This stops her from having an orgasm, and there fun goes on.
We were out with a girlfriend, celebrating her job promotion. Marlene, someone we all knew from the club. Invites all of us back to her place for a little playtime pleasure. I was thinking drinking, dancing, an orgy. But no! What Marlene had planned was for her submissive Ilka, to pleasure all of us with orgasm after orgasm, as she's suffering without any sexual relief. I told her that sounds like fun, but we have already made other plans, Oh Damn!
After we left Marlene and Ilka, at the club. One of the girls ask hey Katrina, so what are these other plans we have? Before I could answer, someone said, that would be getting away from Marlene, and she added the only party I'm going too with Marlene, is a toilet party, and then only if Marlene's mouth is our toilet !! And everyone laughed. Clara, said she would give 50 Euros to see, Ilka, do a poo poo in Marlene's mouth, and more laughing...
FiveWolves _I'm really looking forward to reading more of your stories. Oh and I liked your Pome. Thank You....
Gay Kat.
Criticism first. When introducing Nadya, you said that she spoke formally with an East European accent. Fine, just leave it at that. Using all the 'vells' and 'vys' and 'vatevers' tended to make your dialogue sound like something from a bad 1930s horror film. In my experience, educated/cultured Germans and East Europeans with a good command of English pronounce v and w correctly, even if they have an accent.
That said, this was a well-written and enjoyable story with an exactly right 'ships-that-pass-in-the-night' ending. Nadya, the Ice Maiden, made me think of the wicked Witch in the Narnia stories. She would make an interesting narrator-character in a story of her own.
I saw your comment on "Soldier Girl", and had to come over to your page, and was disappointed to see that you still haven't posted anything for 3 years.
I know the Muse is a fickle mistress, but you are sorely missed!
I hope to see more of you in the future,
As to the story, while I enjoyed reading it again after all this time, I could have done without all the "w/v" stuff. It felt stereotypical, especially when Nadya pronounced "w" where there was a "v"! "It vas wery nice."