All Comments on 'Fire and Smoke'

I almost didn't read your wonderful story, but Im so glad I did. Really good story and very well done. The backstory and characters were perfect and hot, definitely non-human sex.

Just one off note: the term "Catherine wheel". It instantly threw me out of the illusion and back into the human context, where the firework is named for St. Catherine and the wheel on which she was going to be tortured before it miraculously broke. Maybe change it to "pinwheel"?

Thanks for the good feedback! The term "Catherine wheel" is nearly ubiquitous here in the UK, but I'll consider changing it if I do a revision. Apologies if the story feels a little disjointed; Literotica seems to have eaten my section breaks.

Fire and Smoke was startlingly beautiful. It was obviously erotica, but wasn't pornographic or excessively florid. The sex was loving and contributed to the story, and actually had its own sub-narrative that was interesting in its own right.

What stuck (and impressed) me most was the tidy dance along the knife's edge of ALIEN vs FAMILIAR. The characters are completely inhuman in appearance, but their thoughts and motivations and even predominant cultures were very human. The author gave them enough uniqueness to stand out and make the story he intended possible. And he stopped there. There wasn't a huge glut of extra world building a longer story would have warranted; all of the exposition, in fact, was smartly in the "shown, not told" bin. The meat of the narration line was relatable and familiar. If this were a 30-chapter epic, as I could easily see it blossoming into, such corner cutting would have just been campy and lazy, but for Fire and Smoke as-is, it fits perfectly.

So thanks for that.

Loved it.