All Comments on 'First Confession'

by dmhco

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  • 6 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago

Well written, but does not belong in the incest section

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
WTF?

Immenseness? The word is 'Immensity', get a Thesaurus, and just where exactly is the incest, or in fact, any taboo activity at all? A girl wanking in a shower is hardly taboo, and your imagery, a jumbo jet packed with fuel and people flying from her right brain into the towers and structures of her left? Pretentious and most offensive. 1 star, and it's more than you deserve

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
Dear annony is now a fucking English teacher

gave you a 5 to help offset the assholes' comments and vote

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
2

DMHCO,

Since this is your first submission, don't take the criticism too personally. You should really get an editor. I was a little put off by your airplane metaphor too. Almost all trolls who flame you are anonymous, and should be disregarded. For most of us, lapses in spelling, grammar, punctuation, syntax, physiology, and logic are worth pointing out. Don't stop writing.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
Good start, could use work.

Yes, yes, please recruit editors.

See what happens if you aim to make your sentences shorter. You can express complex thoughts/ideas just as easily with short easy to follow sentences. A paragraph should be more than 1 sentence. ;) So either combine some, and/or break up your very long sentences into shorter ones. And ... what is "the G-spot of her vulva?" Huh? Most technical material on g-spots place them inside the vagina. "Vulva" is the name for the external genitalia of a woman. Almost never will the twain meet. Flowery vocabulary is fun to read for some of us, but harder to follow for others. I recommend using "common" words more often to make it easier to read and more fun.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago

Rated this one star. The story was somewhat hard to follow and the incest/ taboo theme just wasn't present. Also, for your next story, get an editor to review it before you post it.

Anonymous
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