All Comments on 'First Immortals Ch. 13'

Well done!

Loved it. 4 years long. Awesome dedication.

It was a really good story. You could even take out 90% or more of the sex and it would be a great sci-fi story.

There were a few typos but it flowed well. One thing I don't remember being explained is why after banging all of those women none of them ever got pregnant. He was too much of a celebrity, someone would want to be the mother of his child.

Detecting an alien ship flying faster than light speed from outside the galaxy, never mind outside the solar system? How, exactly? It couldn't be light, since they were travelling faster than light, but there's no mention of advanced sensors that would be able to do anything other than that, in fact an earlier chapter indicated the Mayflower couldn't see ahead of itself. How much faster than the Mayflower must these species be travelling, to launch attacks with only month's notice, if it took the Mayflower 6 years to get to the YW planet? Yet they were seen coming?

I had fun reading this story. Will you be writing more along these lines?

Hi, and thanks to everyone who has read, voted and commented on this series. I thought I would throw in replies for some of the comments on this chapter. With the pregnancy issue I thought I had explained that, but reading back briefly I can't find it, so maybe I never got it in there. The immortal YW survivors had a side effect that they could never conceive children. For Leenysman I have to put my hand up and accept that my 'in story' science should have been better researched for feasability and I did make some fundamental mistakes. Apologies for that. For Annamaria208 the answer is I have no idea. My twisted imagination never warns me about what is coming next. I don't like being tied down to such long pieces as my mind invariably wants to do something different long before the first piece is complete, but who knows what the future holds. Again thanks to everyone who has read this story. The only reward any author here gets is your votes and comments, so we love it when you take the time to do that. BB1212

good read. Thanks. My only comment is at times the sex seemed to be forced into the story, not a part of the flow of the story. The sex also got alittle to predictable, almost like you were getting bored writing it.

Soooo is there a mayflower planet story out the somewhere?

430 am had to read them all good one :) bed time