All Comments on 'Fit vs. Fat'

Welcome back. You are the best writer on this site.

yeah ... if you are a goddman fucking blithering idiot

Personally, I think these stories are fantastic. People love evil characters for the same reason actors love playing them -- fundamentally evil characters are free from the societal and moral restrictions we face every day. Add in the betrayal and eventual dehumanization (maybe animalization through lust?) of the husband, and you have a totally awesome story.

Also, Harry? Your criticism might carry more weight if you could properly spell the curse words you use. Just sayin'. :)

Lousy story, I lost something so much more important as well. About an hour of my life.(Of course I skimmed)

You misplaced some of the names of the characters.

But other than that, that was so fucking hot!

Married guy would like it ...his dream come true.....!

My only critique is that your build up is way too long for only one real sex sequence. However, the story is erotic all the way through. As far as non-sex moments go, the "sparring" scene where Alexis beats up and humiliates Shannon in front of her husband was absolutely nut-busting.

Thanks and keep up the great work.

Glad to see you back! I agree by far the best writer on the site. My only critique is as long as it took and there was 15 pages in the story! You could have cranked out tons more stories and made them shorter, but whatever you want to do keep doing it! Surrounded Ch. 2 is still the best followed by Beach Bubble Butts. I love the cheating and evil sluts where anal sex is involved. Keep it up!

I too took note of the names and a few typos.

Overall great story with a fair amount of build up. I would suggest adding more elements of subtle cheating such as touches, kisses, and masturbation. So there is a steady progression "falling" from the husband / boyfriend to the slut.

I do appreciate the universe building by including Jessica and John. Though I would have also added Katie as it could easily be the case that she is a member of Alexis' gym.

While it would have been too early in the arc of the story it would have been wonderful if Alexis burst from the towel during the sauna.

It's ambitious endeavours like this that make me curse my own stalled efforts. Bravo sir, I just love how you can get into an evil headspace and create such a pleasantly wicked leading woman.

Impregnation/Pregnancy of the slut is so rewardingly evil and it is why I loved Beach Bubble Butts so much. This story may be better because you followed up with the pregnancy aspect. Keep doing what you do. I will read your writing for life.

Excellent build up and ending!

I really enjoyed this new story, worth the wait!

The only bit I would have changed, I would add a bit more detail about the wife's reaction, placing more emphasis on her arousal by this terrible humiliation, at the gym, the bedroom while trapped, while watching the dvds, and possibly in front of her old game night buddies.

Keep up the great work!

Another great story from a great writer. You already know that some people aren't going to be fans of this type of literature. You're catering toward your growing fan base. You're gaining new fans every day. I'm surprised that this story has rated below a 4.0. I'm assuming the length discouraged some readers. Please keep them coming.

Your stories are excellent and you have a loyal following. I check regularly for new postings from you. This story was one of your best! Great job and keep the stories coming.

Hey! I'm from Mexico, and even if my english is not so good, I do my best in reading your stories. They are wonderful, not just hot, but the way you build them across the pages, and the different points of view are the things I enjoy more. Keep writing please, and if we could give you some ideas for you to make more masterpieces just let us know. Thanks!!!!

I was disappointed because I am a big fan of this type of story, and you've done some good ones. However, you went on way too long in the buildup, especially when you don't know what you're talking about. For example, all the "I realized I was a sociopath" stuff was idiotic---you might want to read up a bit on sociopaths before you try to describe their thinking (for 13 pages, ugh). The whole "weight gain" pill was dumb too. If you're going to have all this backstory, it should at least make sense. Also, while your writing of the sex scenes is always good, the huge-breasted cartoon character and the guy with a massive foot-long cock (not really my thing) are getting repetitive. The woman being hot, okay, makes sense, but why would every guy be some incredible physical specimen, especially because the women are only seducing the guys to be "evil" anyway? I would suggest you write what you know instead of 13 pages of what you don't know and 2 pages of what you do.

It was sexy, it was daring and I love your writing style. I like the back story you gave to all the characters, though after Ben and Alexis fucked, I would've preferred knowing how he felt towards his wife.

Also if you write a sequel to this, I hope Shannon finally motivates herself enough to slim down and beat Alexis's ass, and steal Ben back.

It'd be the fight of the ages :)

Overall, I give you a 5

Keep up the writing <3

Why does it take you nine pages to get to the meat of the story. The sex is good, two pages of lead up would be enough.

I agree with sexywrites22 on that note - I would have liked to see how Ben felt about his new life with Alexis.

Remember the "Devil Wears Nada" when Nina had Andy lick her ass? I can see that with Alexis and Shannon especially with her asshole filled with Ben's sperm.

consider a readers digest condensed version

the beginning until the middle..it was great..but it lost its thrill, suspense (or I should add mystery) when Ben fucks alexis in his house and Shannon saw it. The end is boring. I was hoping it to be a hidden cheating game for Ben until he realize something. Same with Shannon that she will realize that being fat is blah blah blah.... Then some other twist perhaps? Somehow, I am thinking that this is kind of a similar to your THE TRIP. It was great yes but as for this one? Nah..I thought otherwise..:(

What im trying to understand is why is it that mean always go for the stick when he could have something to hold onto? this was poorly done because you let a good guy turn into a monster with out just cause and you didnt give him any personality to feel bad enough about it. none of the characters had substance. if ben loved her as much as he said he did he wouldnt have been so stupid as to have gone there with alexis and even if he did if he loved her as much as he claimed he did he would have felt bad about it. im just saying if bueaty comes down to a skinny girl with fake boobs or a thick girl with curves i will chose the thick girl always. shake my head at other wise. not to mention the ending pages were way to rushed

This might have been a good story, but i gave up after page 10. Too long for such a simple tale.

after the first three.

I would hate to have wasted my time reading any more of your shit.

This was good. I did not expect reading being my main focus on literotica, but you did it.. you captured my interest and did not disappoint. Great start, development and climax. This kind of story cant be rushed, it must be slowly build its way up to reach a needed effect and you did it splendidly. Loved Lexi's emotional evolution in the end.

You must write a story about corrupting a depowered ex-superhero and twins if you ever get the time.

Starting now you are my TEMPTATION\RELUCTANCE go to person. Because this is another level of greatness. The whole idea reminded me about Dodgeball movie and as that was a comedy, I had some hesitations starting on it. How glad that I did eventually, again have to applaud you on the time you toke in creating this scenario to get needed finality. Lexis growth in the end added new layer of excitement, because usually the seduced character never add anything new to the plate.. but here he made her a bit better or maybe it were hormones.

Is it me or you quoted Dane Cook, Matrix, Barney (How I met your mother) and couple others.. or am I reading too deeply ?

You do have lack in twins department kind of stories... what about busty intelligent goth that wears a hoody to hide her +package+ and a ditsy cheerleader who is an expert in fighting, children of Mafia Boss. Trying to get his illegitimate son (their beloved cousin) out of his marriage and back into family business.

You do seem to be an excellent candidate to write a story about a hero who lost his powers, calmly taking the shafting he received by the people and the city he protected, only so a vixen (who could have been his sidekick at some point) to show him the true ways to save humanity from itself.

Your stories usually go down the cheating husband road, and I love them, but this went way too far. I wanted to see Alexis get the shit kicked out of her and Ben being beaten bloody. I wanted the poor wife to come out on top. Please rewrite this with a better ending. One where Ben and Alexis possibly end up in the morgue and in hell while Shannon is slim sexy and happy. Don't ever go this far off the deep end again.

Hey I absolutely love your stories, I read them all except Tastes Like Candy and Hurricane Gina because I don't really like incest, but everything else is fantastic! I especially love the instances where the new women are domming/humiliating the wives/insulting them to their face, probably my favorite instances in your stories is in Fit vs Fat where the body builder spat in the wife's face and in the Devil Wears Nada where the woman made the wife kiss her ass. Please write more stories with more of that stuff. You said you're okay with being given ideas for stories so here's one: The husband already has a child with his ex-girlfriend. He also already has a child with his current wife. He regularly visits his other child like a normal good father. During their past interactions, the ex-girlfriend is always nasty to the wife and even beat her up multiple times, the husband never let this stop his interaction with the ex-girlfriend since he has a child with her. His ex-girlfriend gets kicked out of her house or something makes her have to leave her house for a short time and the husband invites her and ofcourse their child, to come and live with him and his wife. The wife is short, fat and ugly, and the ex-girlfriend is tall and hot. From there, the ex-girlfriend seduces him and humiliates the current wife, also giving her own child favoritism over the wife's child by doing stuff like letting her own kid change the channel and watch what he wants right in the middle of the wife's child watching something. This is all done right in front of the wife ofcourse. Also she bullies the wife with her size, as I said, the wife is short and fat and the ex-girlfriend is tall. And anything else you find humiliating (hopefully with spitting in the wife's face, beating her up/slapping her and making her kiss her feet or ass) she does to the wife before the ex-girlfriend eventually steals the husband and makes him put his wife and the child the wife and the husband had, on the streets, or the husband and ex-girlfriend turn the wife into their maid. Please contact me if you like the idea and think you are going to write it. My email is b.lyons498@gmail.com.

I like where this was going, but too long. Also, maybe sequel where Shannon becomes slim and pretty and her and Alexis duke it out for Ben? Could be sexy. You could have a cat fight sexiness spin on it I think. Any way I have an idea for your next story. So there is a wife and husband, and the wife used to be pretty, but let herself go and is now overweight or ugly etc. so the husband and her have some issues, for example the wife never wants to fuck or something, you can make up some reasons because hey, you're the genius here. so anyway, they go to couples therapy. The therapist is a sexy bitch, and breaks up the marriage. Tada! Oh and here's another story to think about. So the wife and husband are broken up already in the beginning of the story and they have a sexy vixen daughter. The husband has divorced his wife for someone else. The daughter, wanting to help her mom, even though her mom is a cunt to her for being such a slut and the mom is jealous of the daughter, goes to live with dad and his new wife. The daughter seduces dad. New wife becomes ex wife. And then there's two twist endings. Either the daughter drains daddy's bank account and fucks him over and mom doesn't get shit, or the daughter fucks mom over and stays with dad and mom is alone. Or the daughter was trying to get mom and dad back together, but ends up getting herself with dad instead. Think about it and put your own devious and amazing spin on it. Thanks!

Just intense. The build up and character development is spectacular. Well done sir.

Either learn to edit your own stuff or get some help. WAY too many words.

I started jumping pages .... Repetative verbiage. I knew by page 2 where this would end up. It did.

It was awesome. I love the humiliation she put the wife through. Would love more stories like this. Ignore the haters, you are a genius !!!! ;)

Can't wait for more stories, never stop writing

I'm going to echo a lot of the other comments here in regards to the length of time you spend building up to the "payoff" I guess you could call it. While I really enjoyed the big showdown, the progression is way too slow and arduous. I nearly gave up a few pages in. Obviously you have a very detailed idea of what you wanted to go down, but a good writer can convey the feeling of progression in fewer words. The interactions did get repetitious and the plot moved at an absolutely glacial pace. That having been said, however, it doesn't stop me from re-reading this story again and again--or at least from page 13 on.

Can you please make a sequel of this story where Shannon gets dealing so hot like Kim kardashian wherein she's really freaking curvy like all fats at the right places and then she and Ben saw each other and boom ben regrets everything realizing how Alexis is not worth it

I loved how cold Alexis was! another filthy hot story!

Loved how much of a slut Alexis was. Shannon deserved all that. Really hot!

Make a part 2 of this story. Ben and Alexis are so hot! Maybe write a more detailed version of this one. Or an alternative story for this. How about the wife chose to stop her training with Alexis? But Ben started sneaking out with Alexis in the pretense of working out with her. Damn! So hot! Just imagine they were sneaking off behind the ugly wife's back.

;-)

Like damn. That actually sucks for her lol. Maybe she can get waaaaay hotter, take Ben back in the meanest way possible and destroy Alexis, and then destroy him too. Just because that's sad lol. Normally I kind of like these but this one was... Just blatantly evil and sad. Like. I'd like to see her now become a bitch

Ok, I skipped a bit...but the woman decides she's not a sociopath on the last page...really?!

Ben is so hot. Let him cheat on his wife with another sexy girl. Mmm...

TheTalkMan, you and your sex depraved minions need S-E-R-I-O-U-S H-E-L-P.

Ok, so I totally HATED this story!! So that must mean the author did a good job being able to bring out such emotion from reading this?! I can't believe that it ends with the, now, ex-wife just accepting this treatment!! How about a little payback for her?!! And I hate the insinuation that because you gain some weight that you're not attractive to another person or worthy of being loved!! Dont agree with the message this story sends! That being said however this story definitely needs closure!

When I first read Fit vs Fat, I had mixed feelings about it. It is very well written and quite erotic, of course, but the actions of the main character are so bluntly horrible that its impossible to really enjoy the story. I just spent the whole time hoping that she received some divine punishment in the end. But then some time later I read it a second time and was struck by a realization. None of us were really reading the story we thought we were reading, and the real story is so much more heartbreaking.

It’s obvious, when you see it; the entire story is being told through the lens of an ‘Unreliable Narrator’. On the surface, it seems like Fit vs Fat is being told from three perspectives in rotation. Shannon, Ben, and Alexis. This is a trap. You see each segment of the story prefaced by the name of the supposed narrator, and assume that it must be true. However, it is a lie. The only narrator in this story is Alexis herself, as she imagines what it would be like to follow through with one of her bitter fantasies.

The first clue of this comes quickly, with Alexis’ introduction. We have all met this person at one time or another, but usually in middle school. She’s the kid who can’t ever seem to connect with her peers. All of her friendships are short-lived. All the guys get bored with her and leave after a few dates. But the problem isn’t her. Of course it isn’t. How can it be, when she is so cool and smart and, like, so totally hot you guys don’t even know?! It must be because people are just shallow, fake idiots that can’t see how great she is. Girls don’t reject her because she’s constantly making snide remarks and judging everyone. Guys don’t dump her because they get tired of her edgy bullshit. Those girls are all just jealous of how hot she is. They’ll never be as hot as her, so they hate her. Those guys don’t find her boring. They just want to fuck her. Because she’s hot. She’s so hot that she can have any guy she wants and can just dump them right away when SHE gets bored! Never mind that the last time she went out with them, they spent the whole date checking the time on their phone and sighed whenever she mentioned how those jealous bitches at school her beneath her. She dumped them! She did!

Alexis is desperately lonely, but so narcissistic that she can’t conceive of a reality in which she is at fault for her loneliness. And so she disconnects further, convincing herself that her feelings aren’t hurt. In fact, she doesn’t even have feelings! She must be a sociopath, because sociopaths are cool, and dark, and edgy, and they don’t care when not a single person showed up for their birthday party! Sociopaths are smarter than everyone, and cooler than everyone, and they can just manipulate people because they’re so much smarter! That’s it. She wasn’t being dumped at all. She wasn’t even trying to date those guys. Not really. She was just toying with them, using her looks to cunningly trick them into fucking her a few times. It’s the perfect plan. She’ll show them all how awesome she is by fucking them!

And it will work, somehow, because she is so hot. She must be. Why else would guys only ever seem interested in her looks? Someone as cool and smart as her has so much more to offer, but they would rather stare at her tits than listen to her talk about how awesome she is.

Isn’t it obvious, once you take away the filter of Alexis’ delusions? Every word of her introduction is like a page torn from the diary of a teenage edgelord. Even when you take the story at face value its obvious that on some level, Alexis knows that her looks are the only thing she has to offer. She’s so dependent on physical appeal that she made a career out of it, becoming a personal trainer. And this is her character, as she really is. A bitter, lonely woman who has never had a real friend or relationship, because she simply refuses to believe that she is the problem.

And thus enters Shannon, the object of Alexis’ jealousy. Shannon is everything that Alexis isn’t. She is friendly, intelligent, and probably quite cute. Yes, the story describes her being plain bordering on absolute troll... but that’s because we are reading Alexis’ thoughts. Not what is real, but what Alexis wishes were real. Because her entire sense of self-worth is tied to her appearance, the most vicious insult that Alexis can imagine is a person being overweight or ugly. Shannon is not physically flawless, and thus she is a paunchy gremlin who must surely stuff her face with cupcakes all day.

Alexis’ delusional rage is only fueled when she meets Ben, Shannon’s husband, and she becomes determined to use her incredible intelligence and unspeakable hotness to steal him away. So she flirts at him, and flirts more. And she misinterprets his polite tolerance and occasional, unintentional glance at her prominent cleavage as mutual attraction. How could he not be attracted to her, after all? She’s totally hot, you guys! Of course he would rather have her than his fat, dumpy wife!

My best guess is that the story becomes completely detached from reality around the time that Ben begins to visit the gym along with Shannon. Because this does not make sense in the presented context. Moral support? Why? Women want to look their best for their man, and a sweaty workout is not presenting their best self. No, at around that time we know that we’re now reading Alexis’ fantasy, because the gym is the only place that she really feels like she is in control. Unhinged by Ben’s continuing disinterest, she starts to imagine ever more cruel and unrealistic events involving herself, Ben, and Shannon.

At first it’s little things. Imaging herself openly flirting with Ben while Shannon seethes in jealous frustration. Then she begins to imagine herself as a sexual aggressor, openly seducing the man while his wife helplessly endures it. Eventually she even imagines herself directly confronting Shannon with nothing more than raw sexuality, shown both in her fantasies about sitting on the other woman’s face and masturbating in front of her in the showers. Maybe because she is frightened of Shannon’s increasing prevalence in her sexual fantasies, she then retreats to more comfortable ground. In her next fantasies, its a simple matter of her cunningly seducing Ben, who is helpless against her advances because in her mind all men are shallow animals driven solely by lust, and any who do not fit that mold are simply lying to themselves.

And of course this works, in Alexis’ fantasies. In reality, Shannon and Ben have by this time simply stopped coming to the gym. Why would Shannon still be there, after all? Alexis isn’t exactly subtle, and no-one would continue to associate with such a toxic person for long. No, by this point everything we read is solely within Alexis’ fantasies, which she probably comes up with while sadly masturbating in the apartment where she lives alone with a half dozen cats and a blow up sex doll that she named Alfred.

Please write a follow up or spin off

The whole story to me was pretty hot. I especially love how the wife pretty much knew her sex life and was over and how no she only fucks her fingers. It's the life a fat ex deserves

I love it!

I know this was already a very long addition but if Ben & Alexis adventures could be continued that would be great.

So I’m guessing a tape recorder wasn’t invented during the time period that you set your stories? Also wouldn’t Shannon be able to sue Alexis at some point for her disgusting toxic behaviour? Do you even bother to know what research is? Plus that ending was absolutely awful - they just sounded like complete one dimensional characters at the end. As if a woman who has unprotected sex that often doesn’t have AIDS for fuck sake, live in the real world dude. 10 inch cocks? Yeah right. Plus if a woman is that well endowed naturally it’s physically impossible to have a flat washboard abs physique so again, please do your research dude. I’m a size L cup and I know for a fact I’ll never have washboard abs so please stop with the bs.

There are men out there who are arse men, don’t pretend that men are only into boobs that is so ignorant. I think this story was just too nasty and evil and I’m getting so bored with that angle where the men are completely fucking brain dead. I’m not even a man and I’m getting pissed off at every. single. fucking. story. being where the man is so fucking oblivious to what’s really going on. He never really loved his wife if it all boils down to weight because the fact of the matter is Alexis could become a quadriplegic and then she’d lose her svelte figure then, that’s for sure. Maybe write a story about that and where somehow Shannon goes overseas and comes back a different woman with a new man and she has a baby with him and her curves evened out thanks to motherhood agreeing with her and she has gorgeous boobs now whereas her ex husband has to push Alexis around in a wheelchair who has since ballooned after having kids with Ben because she got preeclampsia and her body went insanely morbidly obese and that’s her karma for being such a psychotic fucking cunt bitch to Shannon. Shannon can be with her new husband and glance over at a frustrated Ben who is wishing he could get away from his toxic life with his toxic wife and annoying kids and sees Shannon living her best life and starts wishing he could be with her again but realises that he made his bed now and she can smirk and smugly hold her husband’s muscular arm as they laugh together on their wedding anniversary, happy that their business has just made it onto the Forbes list, while meanwhile Ben has been fired as a teacher because one of the DVDs accidentally got sent to the faculty because Alexis was jealous of some of the female teachers there now that she was a whale in a wheelchair and some of them were daughters of the male teachers she had slept with and they remembered how that bitch had ruined their parents marriages so they set out to ruin hers. Live in the fucking real world dude, you can’t be horrible and toxic and not get burnt ever. Grow up and learn not to write a 15 page fucking manifesto when you can’t even write 3 decent pages, I spent the entire fucking read going Jesus Christ make a fucking point already, I felt like I was reading a government census the way it went on and on. Sorry but the characters were so one dimensional and I can’t stand that in stories. You can’t make someone do a complete 180 like that, that’s called crap writing.

this was great!! amazing story.

This story suffers from the same as some of your others, where things just escalate too fast. Ben was resisting and slowly coming around, but then there was just a sudden, extreme shift in his mentality that didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. Still good though.

I feel like this was written by a dude who resents the booming bbw attraction LMAOOO . All women are gorgeous but those bbw’s are…mouthwatering and world changing

My favourite parts of the story was emotional and physical tormenting of Shannon at the gym, making her body burn and insecurities grow. I really love the struggle she were going through and would really aporeciate more of this type of writing

Female cuck rubbish Ben deserves Alexis he maybe physically perfect but he is weak of character. Weak storyline written to suit the authors concept the the perfect win and the imperfect lose. Rubbish

People who read this entire pile of trash should be able to sue you for stealing their time. Triple damages for fraud. The person who gave you the idea for this trash needs to apologize to you.

Jumped here from first page.

Free advice to anyone who hates wasting their time and money!

If some one else tells you "this is what your goal should be" WALK OUT THE DOOR.

If they are in your home KICK THEMOUT.

Does not matter if they are salesmen, preachers, or personal trainers, STICK TO YOUR GOALS NOT THEIRS.

Because in the end, you will fail if what you are trying to do is not really what YOU wanted to do.

Talkman. Just talk. Never write trash like this again. From my own family.t is clear that some people will be bigger because they are stronger.

Never heard tofi, stands for thin outside, fat inside.

The idea you are planting in readers minds that, if you heavier than the person next to you, then you are fatter is nonsense.

It reminds me of the truly stupid Body Mass Index theory so loved by ignorant "school nurses".

If you think Body Mass Index is right I dare you to say that to a 230lb rugby player before he throws you over the crossbar !.

To the Shannons of this world I say, Wise up about foods that leave you hungrier, Yes, carbohydrates will do that. There is a lot for you to learn but, start here. Not all fat makes you fat.

I eat mature cheddar cheese on its own to end hunger pangs though I hate to think about the price rise that will happen if too many people get to know.

The 5 ; 2 plan works very well for most folk.

Personal trainers? Never had one in my life. Swimming, walking, use the stairs will be all that is need except for athletes.

To the Bens of this world, wise up if a woman grabs your privates do to her what you would hope your wife will do to a man who did it to her. A slapped face for Alexeis is in order. It is called self defence.

Lol. Don't understand why some people take a fictional story like this so personally? The truth is, generally men find the look of the women that TheTalkMan describes more attractive than an overweight or not in shape woman. Fact. Same as women generally finding fit in shape men more attractive than those out of shape. Don't understand why this particular genre gets so much hate in the comments? Far more than similar loving wives stories. Maybe because a greater percentage of women read erotica?

If this is the first story of his you have read, as a long time TheTalkMan reader, this is an early story and his writing has improved greatly since then. I'd encourage you to read the more recent Dr White series, GG's like in Maggie or How to get a job at Fucking. The last one in particular is my personal favorite of his.

It's funny how this story struck a nerve with me. I got married later in life to a bathing suit model more than 10 years younger than me. We were about 12 years and 3 children later into our marriage when a younger friend of mine made a play for her while I was out of town at the time. She shut him down when she told him she had seen and heard it all before and as soon as I was home she'd be telling me about how my so-called friend was offering a bigger cock than me for her pleasure. When I was back home and my wife went into detail (we had talked on the satellite phone right after) about this friend of mine's offer, I asked her how big did he say he was? I asked her if he had pulled it out to show her and she said no. I was laughing at this because I had seen his penis in high school in the showers and he was bragging how 6 inches was getting the job done. I told her that she didn't miss a thing that it was about as thick as my thumb when he pumped it erect one time bragging about how big he was. She said she needed a pic of my cock to shoo him away. I told her that was never going to happen in my lifetime and I would take care of him soon. What my former friend didn't know was my wife had been modeling to pay for her education at the time and had tested at genius level while working towards her degree in Honors Genetics at that time. All my former friend knew was that she worked in a lab and was a dumb blonde. Not so; the dumb blonde beauty he saw, but the brains were not evident and boy did he hit on the wrong woman. My visit to his bachelor's pad with one of my brothers was anything but friendly. After his stay in the hospital I've heard he's keeping to himself and is being a good little boy. Not all women are sluts and not all men will let another man make a pass at his wife with impunity nor without punishment. He picked on the wrong loving couple.

Trash. Absolutely be redeeming quality to this at all. I feel dirty for having read halfway through before jumping to the end. I will not read any more stories from you.

Easily one of the greatest stories on this site. The other comments take it too seriously.

One of the best I've read here, genuinely well written. Can you people not separate fantasy from reality? It's just a fictional story folks, no one got hurt.

I really don't understand the haters who read till the end and then write a comment as well. If it's such a waste of time, It's not like the ball was hidden? If you don't like it then just click away and go back to your favorite vanilla stories with teenage werewolves etc