All Comments on 'Flapper Dick'

I think you've done well with the words, they are authentic to the period I think. Not being American it's difficult to know. I suspect though that it is about more than word substitution, that the whole construction of the language was different and there were times when I felt the construct of it wasn't in keeping with the vocabulary you used. To write in such a vernacular is difficult. There are books that use the language- I think Raymond Chandler may be one author of the time. It's not my specialty and I may be wrong.Let me say your story was a very good effort.

I have a concern about the story though. I read so much of this story but couldn't finish it. The story seems to meander with no real direction, nothing to say. It is almost as though I'm expected to bear witness to your writing prowess without getting any thing in return. Seven pages is a lot. I saw another story of yours had 22 pages. Wow. That is huge. I'd need a cut lunch to read it and does it do more than meander with little to say? I'm not game to find out. I think you should edit a lot more- cut swathes out of it so it can be interesting, stick to your story and don't mix it with off story language, sharpen the story to give it impact......

I think you have the capacity to be a wonderful writer- when you apply the necessary discipline to it

.I hope I have it right- it is only what I think and I have no qualifications at all.I too am always desperate for feedback. There is so little here, I wish some one else would comment on your work. I'd love to know if they share my opinion. I have found that when I submit a roughie I don't get comments or they are rude and disparaging. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to read it.

Rick

I can’t fuckin read. 10/10