All Comments on 'Flight Instructor'

Your story is fairly well written; however, in your effort to get into John's head, your prose became fairly short and choppy. You can express his terseness in his dialog, as that's what dialog is for, particularly when it is simply his mental voice. Don't damage the story in your effort to get his personality across.

A solid 4. Keep up the good work

If only a master spy was looking out for your interests!

i liked the similarity to a character in "WKRP" an old tv show the original character was Less Nessman, and the rest of the story was pretty good.

I love this story, especially the part where shes warned about what will happen but is apparently too dumb or selfish to imagine a scenario where she gets caught. the premise of this tale reminds me of another story like this where the cheating ife endangers her husbands job and life. It was longer and had a different path but this one is a bit more palatable to me.

5/5. Keep writing.

Very good. Try something like 'soldierboy'.Author.

Looking for future works. Thanks.

Very well written...A good story, short, precise and to the point!!! She wasn't only a serial cheater!!! She was a stupid one, as all cheaters!!! 4*

If the wife of one of the employees is a threat risk, what about the department supervisor? Wouldn't his actions be an even greater problem?

The second lover needed to be terminated as well. Just for security purposes, of course.

I find this to be the perfect example of how to deal with any and all infidelity. Loved it! Five stars.

Really very good! But before the end of the day, I assume plenty of others will chime in to list out all of the percieved "problems" with the "realities" of this scenario....

But for me, I suspended my disbelief with ease. I settled in for a well paced thriller, that features a solid message in a strong and capable voice. I would bet that even some of your detractors will have to admit that they liked this, and would have liked it even more...."if only".....yadda, yadda, etc.

Yes, I suppose that "Cheating = Death" is a hard equation to rectify in a story finding its home on an principally erotic website. That said, ANY story that rightly prepares its characters for the simple truth that cheating comes with consequences, and then delivers with those promised consequences.....well I say that THOSE are the stories that are most successful. Combine that with the economy of two pages, yet still filled with adequate character development, tone, imagery, and basically all of the parts that comprise good story-telling, I think you should be very pleased with this effort.

Thankyou very much, and hope to read alot more from you!

All compliments, past and future, by fellow commentators are ruthlessly reiterated by me.

Nice story. A change from the stock plot.

Wonder how she'll get it...

Thanks for sharing a good story.

Perfectly paced and written. Throughly enjoyed this story and will check out the other one you mention

David Baldacci !!!

5-ed , of course ...& fave-ed !!

Written in extremely good style. Author needs to consult Tags Portal for more appropriate tags.

5 stars.

how bot a follow up on how and where she meets her maker, and maybe the hubby and twins find a worthy wife and mother.

WOW!!!

Not often we get any originality in loving wives. Thank you

Simply, awful. Poor plot, very poor ending. Maybe some countries do, but our country does not handle security problems that way. Not the investigation. Not the solution.

A lot of technical flaws. The worst was having a news program show the head of a dead person and a lot of blood around it. They just do not do that.

Personally, I find stories that tell what is going on in several people's minds unrealistic. First person accounts are more believable. Having a dialog and stating what each person is thinking at the time just is too far out for me.

I'm a pilot, so the title caught my attention. But the link to it was disappointing and disgusting.

A very good story. John could be a repeat character in future submissions.

Well processed and put together but pretty edgy for here in CONUS operations. Shit does happen though with confirm and or deny situations, my experience was all OCONUS and thank God it was easier.

BRAVO!! Bring us more please!

I rated a 4, no particular reason not a five, the writing very tight, a lot of story told in two pages. Love these "spook" type stories.

I guess I was a bit needing to understand the wife's reasons for cheating, but that is a quirk of mine, and doesnt make your story less. I just find this stuff so perplexing-but human nature is fraught with sin and she was a sinner of the first order.

Nice job, looking forward to more.

Would've been nice.

Circumstances how she meets her maker...

Does her current lover get a "Flight Instructor" as well?

Would she get a little notification just before her end: "I guess you didn't take the warning to heart"...

It might give her more to think & regret about if she can see what she loses before her end; like her kids calling someone else "mommy".

Like the "black ops" storyline; could always make someone disappear for their "reeducation".

Further story could always have an "accident" and, she gets to see from a secure location that her family goes on without her; she gets to see what she lost before her end. - just some thoughts to twist a knife...

Nice tight plot without a lot of extraneous story line or details. I would like to see a series of stories with John as the protagonist. Perhaps a prequel or some short stories of his history?

Great story

where I normally like stories with a happy ending I guess, depending on how you look at it,, this one did too. Thanks for the story! smitty

At last an entertaining story that did not contain, or need, masses of intimate sex details and bucket loads of foul language to make it a worthwhile read. Maybe a new author but at least one who is educated enough to let the story line stand on it's own two feet.

Sadly I fear that you will get some stick from the uneducated masses, who require their daily dose of stroke material with their female maiden aunts using language that the average seaman doesn't even use.

As for me, this was definitely a 5* effort and I thank you for taking the time and trouble to write it, much appreciated by me!

I was surprised to read Navigator's comments - I saw this story as a dark fantasy and hence enjoyed it. My first thought was that I hope the twins take after their dad instead of their mother. She was completely warned and foolishly will bear the consequences... Five stars from me.

Liked the story line, good clean and to the point. Good for shadowING of the wife composing the husband's national security as a plot.

Very interesting and quite different from the usual LW fare. How about John' s back story.

Creative and well written.

It took me just a couple of paragraphs to be enthralled! Very interesting and entertaining for me and that's a difficult task because I'm ADD and Dyslexic!

A great work of fiction and captivating in its telling.

Having been in Ben's situation before, wish I would have had a John looking out for me. Surely cheaper than my divorce. Excellent read. Thank you.

I can only think of all the ways I could have spent my money that is other than giving it to the ex-bitchaholic. John would have come in handy for me even at the same money the ex has caused me. It would have been much better for the kids and my family, along with my mental health.... Write on Lynneshusband... write on.

Very original from my perspective. Obviously immoral, unethical, violent, and mean and ugly too. Beautiful! Oh, for the faint of heart PC crowd: ITS ONLY FICTION! Now suck my dick (just kidding).

The writing was above average, but the storyline wasn't my cup.

Very Well Done!

Loving Wife - NOT!

Please develop more stories of John's character. Plot was very realistic.

Thanks for writing a great read!

Not one for BTB tales but that one is exceptional. Loved it!

English

What a surprise story. Not like the usual LW fare, but a damned well-told story.

Overtones of Tom CLancy, Ian Flemming and a host of others.

I look forward to reading more. . .

HP

I like the National Security rationale for a REAL BTB ending. Assuming that the tails had verified that Sweetie was NOT yet being tapped (for secrets, silly!), from that side of the fence we simply have a human alley cat.

There are nicer ways to remove her from a potentially compromising situation. Call her and ask if she would prefer her OWN flying lesson, or to 'fall in love' with a rich oil sheik and move immediately to Qatar? Probably no problem talking some horny dude there into taking another wife with excellent alley cat papers!

The writing was generally good. John's condition did not sound like he would have been in place to follow through on this case. Was his heart ailments seen to be a critical aspect of the tale? Didn't seem so to me! Heal him and run with that character some more. Oh ... Hubby's boss was still there? Also seems unlikely!

4*

Very nice story. I like the angle. A note:

A "wretch" is a poor thing, an unfortunate victim.

To vomit is to "retch". You might think this is nitpicking, but the better the story, the more annoying these sorts of misused words are.

Keep up the good work.

MichaelG

Author - please feel fee to continue contributing stories with similar POV's & plotlines.

Absolutely consistent throughout, one chance, no excuses, no hesitation. A credible character can be warm and loving, or cold and ruthlessly efficient. I greatly enjoyed that your primary character was brutally consistent. Thank you.

Very dark, but logical and consistent.

And someone with VT could they phyiscally do that to another person?

Yep. Almost certainly.

MORE! MORE! Bring John's health back and write more, please. I loved it. Good writing, terrific plot, the whole shebang. Kudos! Cheers!

Shove it! Hard! Cheers!

Usually stories with ex-special everything soldiers are not believable but you definitely made it work. It's fiction so the story is what it is and it works. To those who think this sort of stuff doesn't happen in the good old US of A just remember if they are secret about it then you would never know. I really liked it and gladly give it a 5 and would like to see a whole series around this guy and if a few cheaters have to get bumped off in the telling so much the better.

This was a fantastically creative and original theme. It was easy to read. You could have Tom Clancy'd us with all kinds of technology gobbledegoop. The story was clean; something I can never do.

What I didn't like. It was too gosh darned short! You could've added another two or three pages easily.

Of course this is a five. I suggest you have John approach retirement. He makes the decision to magnetize his electronics before he leaves, but not before he, and you, take us down memory lane telling us about some of his more interesting male and female marital issues. I realize, and I hope you do too; they all can't end the same way.

i'm usually pretty critical of BTB stories (not often publicly, though), as I think stupid people need consequences, but they should be concomitant with their crimes. BTB stories are too often gross overkill, and usually far too public for the good of those that must go on.

There are occasions, however, where I think these things are fully justified. Like when the cuck is so blatant, obvious, public, flaunting and arrogant about her perfidy, there can be no other response for her, but scorched earth.

In the case of this story, there was a critical asset and innocents to be protected. The criminal stupidly and arrogantly (as is too often the case with these types) faithless bitch decided her fate and got what was coming to her.

Am I advocating murder for infidelity? No, not in most cases, by far. In this rare case, that's a big damn, OH YEAH, BABY!!!

And the tradecraft aspect made it all the more interesting. Like other commenters, I hope you'll add to this as a series....let John go through some stuff...a medical procedure that was developed to treat his particular problem....a review of the lost love that hardened him, and then let the Punisher RULE!

OK, back to civilization. In spite of some of the spiteful and downright cruel commenters, I have generally enjoyed your stories a great deal. The ones I feel are not up to your usual high standards, well, I'd rather not comment on those. That's for content.

In the other major aspect of storytelling via the printed word, I will burn you for sloppy, lazy damn technicals........fortunately, you care and are much, much more careful and prudent in those respects.

One last thing.....Have you ever thought of tackling something along the lines of "Burn Notice" but with teeth? By that, I mean that the writers there, did the typical smarmy, pussy TV show thing by making him determined never to harm anyone. That's bullshit, plain and simple. He's a professional and had or was given moral and/or political justification for the deaths he caused-but make no mistake, he killed plenty and had/has no issues doing so.

That should show up in the freelancing he takes on to survive the BN in whatever cesspool or dump he wakes up in. It might even fit in parallel with this storyline....

Good story....please take it further and deeper. This is a setup for something really epic, and it would be a disservice to the art to drop it here.... Just sayin'!

Really enjoyed it I think it's brevity is a strong point.

too bad pleasure overtakes good sense. TK U MLJ LV NV

Would like to see more and longer adventures from this no non-sense character.

I liked it. The text was as terse as the old Spook himself. But there really wasn't a lot of conflict. Everything pretty much went his way in a very no nonsense sort of way. He's seen it all, done it all, and tracking a wayward spouse is dull compared to his history.

Something messy needs to happen to him along the way. You hinted that the FBI would screw up things. Let them. The old Spook needs to eliminate Fannon, but the FBI somehow prevents it. He has to get around them and it ain't easy.

He killed Beth by making a simple phone call. No conflict. Just a routine call to a secret agency with no name. It can't be that easy. If it is, you don't really have a story, you just have a running diary of a spook.

The heart problem is a good device, but you aren't really using it. It could produce some of the conflict. He needs to take down Fannon, but his heart isn't up to it. Fannon gets the best of him, and is about to kill him. There's some conflict right there. The old Spook has to find a way to send him flying. Don't ask me how. That's where you come in.

Set up obstacles. Have the old Spook solve them. Right now there really aren't any obstacles. The old Spook can literally phone in some of the work.

The character has a lot of possibilities. He's not really a likeable guy, but he's an interesting guy. We want to know more about him.

Looking forward to more.

Well written story, but kudos for the noted reference (albeit edited) to one of the best sitcoms ever made!!

You do not give us time to stop to think before it has been completely served. Sure there are always details and different opinions. Personally I liked the idea of getting rid of the two adulterers, and that is because of the fact that it seemed to be how it was handled when I was a kid in the USA some sixty years ago! The idea that this is an Islamic take is ridiculous. Personally I think that adultery a crime!

reminds me of the pulp fiction of old...

if there isn't going to be the least erotic thing in it.

Would have liked to read about the slut wife's demise. Looking forward to more from you.

Hard to condone murder for either infraction (fucking a married woman or fucking around). I almost wonder if thisis a social (sociopathic? ) experiment to see how high you can get your score while writing about distasteful people. I suppose the writing was decent, though.

Great story. A real creative change of pace to a LW story.

I liked everything about it so gave you 4*s. Though ,if you think about it this wasn't erotic at all. Really non-erotic is the category for it.

Yeah,yeah I hear you . The wife cheated , there was a description of the ' hot sex' she liked so much .

But to be LW , whether the cheater pays or there is a reconciliation there needs to be emotional impact. The little character development here precludes anything like that.

We know more about the spook than the husband or wife.

Thanks for a good story LynnesHusband. I am happy and

AMerryMan

Shows a possible ending of a cheating cunt wife. They're all worthless anyway.

Ain't fiction great?

Five Stars

When a husband kills a cheating wife that is not BTB, but sad Consequence story.

Generally I do not like to kill carachters in story.............Here the husband did not kill anybody and he was clueless about his wife's extramarital activity, who followed her cheating with newer loverboy after knowing the fate of her earlier loverboy...........I think this story is good relative to BigK10's excellent story "The Fate of Her Lovers" . However after BigK10's story I laughed a lot but after this story I felt a little emptiness.

BTW excellent story 5*****

Leave aside the morality - that was a powerfully written piece yet not soppy or overly emotional - perhaps that is why so many found it confronting.

Sean Mc

than a small amount of cheating pleasure. TK U MLJ LV NV

FIVE STARS

Harry in VA's Witness

ok I know their both from the U.K. , but in my mind I'm trying to put a voice to John on the phone to Bethanie . These were the 1st 2 who popped to mind. Maybe Morgan Freeman, his great voice will work anywhere !

One thing is undeniable though , usually a story like this gets ripped to shreds in the comment section by the Cuck crowd but they're strangely missing here. I guess that the author penned such a great little story that even they knew it was pointless to attack it using their usual petty tactics ! Great job Lynneshusband ! 5*'s

Cpprcrk

Thanks for sharing.

Maybe should be in non-erotic. ******

Good thought provoking story. Thank

from a tiny little mind with a starving ego as stingy as a 3 year old.

The story has no plot, which in a spook story is supposed to be what is important.

The story is totally unrealistic. No motivation is offered for the wife's affairs. Private citizens are assassinated on a regular basis with no hint of investigation. Who gave our self-appointed "hero" the right to judge and execute other humans who do not conform to his tastes in behavior? Did he have an affair himself and was unable to forgive his behavior but his wife died while he was out with his gf and he could not forgive himself so sought to assuage his own guilt by punishing others? Some such event in his past has compelled him to murder.

Most BTB authors on here seem to me to be mental midgets incapable of understanding why people do what they do. This one is even worse, as he is not even the injured party reacting in a moment of rage. This author's protagonist is little more than an executioner swinging an ax at the concept of infidelity, not a real human engaged in interpersonal relationships.

This story is in the genre of the 7th grade bully whose first crush refuses to tolerate his clumsy groping, thus interrupting his masturbation fantasies about her, so for revenge, he kills the class gerbil that he knows she loves.

I bet the little girls in this story would have preferred a living mom even if she were a little bit imperfect in her relationship with their dad to a mutilated corpse for a mom. They could not at the age of 8 have hated her for something they could not have understood. After a few months of straying, she probably would have come to her senses and mended her ways. I am sure the husband who loved her would have preferred growing old with her and forgiving a little slip, which nearly all men commit.,as well as many women. Instead, the love of his life will be tortured to death or slaughtered in a fake accident. I doubt he enjoyed her suffering. If he did, he isn't going to heaven either.

Back to the bad writing:

The husband seemed to have suspected his wife of playing around. What happened to that thread of the story? The supervisor requested help for his employee. What did he think when he heard the boyfriend was thrown off a balcony? Another commenter on here pointed out other instances of poor writing.

I think the lack of erotic content reveals a lack of erotic stimulus in the author's life. He is probably a lonely loser concocting stories in a perfect world he controls as a means of compensating for his own complete failure with women.

The bitch was warned. The bitch was a serial cheater. The bitch was a threat to national security. The bitch did not deserve a family. The bitch got her just deserts. The kids were lucky that such a bitch was removed from being any influence in their lives. The story was fiction, get that 1/13/17 anon? It's fiction.

Author, you keep kicking out these wonderful stories,we'll ignore the dumb asses and keep looking for your offerings.

Wow. LOL. Sounds like Anony 1/13/17 got burned when she was caught cheating and apparently the divorce went badly for her. Isn't it ironic how she uses the same cliches we see in the LW stories written about cheating sluts? "After a few months of straying, she probably would have come to her senses and mended her ways..." LOL. Comprehension isn't your strong suit, is it?

She'd already cheated once and was still going strong when her scumbag failed his flying lesson (actually, he did ok on the take-off, but the landing - not so much). She was warned at that time, "Never again". She promised, but of course you can't trust a slut's promise. She was cheating again when the termination order was issued. What a shame! Now those cute innocent little girls will forevermore idolize her, they'll be raised by their loving father who will speak of how much he loved their sainted mother. The flip side of that coin? Those little girls could have been the by-product of a broken marriage - because no self-respecting man will live with a whore. They might have been raised and trained by their slut mother and a multitude of her 'here-today-gone-tomorrow' live-in boyfriends. They would probably grow up to be just. like. her. All things considered, the little girls - and their dad - will do much better without her.

Lest you forget: This cheating slut was not put-down because she obviously lacked morals, decency, honor, integrity, and love for her family. Nope. She was put down because she presented a blackmail opportunity for foreign agents - the risk was too great and our protagonist didn't want the whole family destroyed in the process of mitigating that risk. Why destroy two innocent kids and a trustworthy husband whose biggest sin was to marry a skank who so easily betrayed everything beautiful in her life?

............an aspect of real life all too often missing from literotica stories.

Nicely done. thank you.

Very well done. Much more than a BTB story. Loved the intrigue. Please keep writing.

This was pleasantly dense and interesting. I guess the only ending that could happen for a story was the one that happened. For some reason I hoped she wouldn't fuck up again. But she did. Even the comment about her getting it at the rails was foreshadowing wasn't it? I guess the only thing that concerned her was herself.

It's noted that the security guy took meaningful steps to help avoid work-induced infidelity, taking away excuses from anyone that might make them...in the story and this world.

I sort of would have enjoyed reading her demise. It should have been slow enough for her to realize why, and her thoughts as she died. Sort of like that one story where cheater dude is taken out on a boat and chained to an engine and become lake debris after a long winded speech that left him still hoping for a way out.

what's your problem, Navigator? The conniving bitch was tipped to watch the evening news cast to see what happened to her lover and called again and told precisely what would happen if she repeated her actions so her stupid decision to play Russian Roulette against getting caught cheating was playing the odds against committing suicide.

As several other's have commented, I'd have liked for her to be trapped, stalked, see her killer, know why he's there and there's no escape but she has a few seconds to reflect on what she did, what she had, who she hurt and know that her kids will grow up without her and, just as her personal Grim Reaper arrives, that she can't change, stop or do a damned thing about it.

five stars

A new author for me with a very good story. Bethany had a simple choice, and apparently she chose wrong. Very good story.

Well done.

There are places in the world where things like this happen. They are not very nice places to live.

A great story about a woman who just wouldn't listen. Sorry you don't like it Red. It sure beats hell out of your silly cuck tales.

and well executed. The 'spook" character is so well developed that a series could be written around him.

One small thing...the following is an annoying LW cliche that appears is a large percentage of stories: "don't do anything stupid". Your writing is too good to include any of the usual LW laziness.

Tags are useless here.

Burn the coal , pay the toll

Well done story. It didnt fall into most of the usual LW clap trap, except we all knew she wasnt going to stop. That is a constant LW wife issue, they literally will fuck a whole College campus after promising to never do it again.

That was fun. Thank you.

The best kind of LW story. The cheating whore’s lover gets it first, then her cheating ass follows soon after.

Lynn's husband - you haven't written anything for 6 years. First I hope you are still with us and healthy enough to continue writing. Second, if healthy please write more, you have a talent. Maybe a series around the spook? This one was a 5 star story.

Can I get that phone number please? 😎

I agree I want that phone number and I will take out 250,000 thousand in life insurance on her

5 Stars and I also want that phone number . Maybe it is 867-5309 works for Me

I love the Bess Nessman joke! It's like the cherry on top of this lovely sundae!

When your desire to fill your base needs overcome your survival instinct. That's Darwinism.

In the words of the immortal Steven Wright: "It's a real shame that there's no lifeguard at the gene pool."

Congratulations, a truly interesting story in the LW genre. Don't linger here though, because the "eejuts" will tear you to pieces. Very entertaining and refreshing change. Five stars from me.

Really liked this one. Fantasy, of course. But a nice one. Hope the twins are really his. D

Very , very nice. Thanks.

Adultery bad, murder good.

Can’t buy that.

Damn good! A very original take on an all too familiar subject.

Nicely done.

Great story.

Please write more about this character.