All Comments on 'For All the Love in Paris Ch. 03'

Faster !! Lol. I really m enjoying your story. Please continue to write and submit!!

I am intrigued but I think it would help to get a beta reader. I'm finding it to be a bit jumpy with the memories of Vivienne which do no more than over-illustrate the fact that he was closeted and using this woman who was using him back. I am a bit confused as to how a guy who was new to his career became a partner so quickly and after a year could have enough money to live in Paris. The part where James was there was so disjointed by the fact that Grey wasn't paying attention to a guy he was so desperate to see. Now he's taking expensive taxi rides looking for him. I kind felt like you were losing me big time in this chapter. I wonder if a beta reader could help you smooth it out and make it feel less disjointed. I think it could be an interesting story but I feel like you're focussing on details that don't make up the exciting or more important parts of the story. I am truly not trying to criticize as much as give my honest impression.

Actually, I agree with everything you said. I'll be the first to admit I'm struggling a bit to merge present and past. I'm working out the kinks, or trying to, and as for the beta reader, that's a brilliant suggestion. I do, however, have plans for the money issue. I left that out on purpose. That will all be explained in the next chapter I'm writing. Overall, I really, really appreciate your feedback. Little things that people say helps wayyy more than they know. So thanks cannd.