All Comments on 'For All the Love in Paris'

I actually really enjoyed this chapter! The only thing I would say is that it started off a bit rough. I was sort of confused because you took too long to actually tell us that his Fiancee left him and that's the reason for him being in Paris. Other than that, I am just peachy and can't wait to read the next chapter. Soon I hope. :)

I bust out laughing at "GOOD MORNING FUCKING PARIS!" Who says that about Paris? lol I disagree with ANON about the chapter starting a little rough and it took too long for it to be said his fiancée left him. It does say in the third paragraph "This trip was initially intended to be shared by two. Two newlyweds..................." I think I experienced what your character was feeling, which is the hallmark of a good writer in my opinion. As the reader I felt just as shitty as he did and for that to come across the writing must not be rushed. I too am as excited as Greyson to find out "who indeed is this guy?" I look forward to the second chapter. I think you are doing splendid. Keep going.

Some excellent descriptive writing but also a vague feeling that there needed to be a bit more eroticism in this chapter, which could also have been longer.

I'm not knocking your efforts; they're excellent overall - I'm merely putting forward my views.

I do also hope that you've planned the future of this story; if so, I' d hope that it remains a story about his discovery of a new way of life. Your tag of 'supernatural' has me worried that it'll all turn surreal.....

Just to reassure, I didn't tag 'supernatural.' Hmm, must be an autotag. Don't worry though, I intend to keep this story firmly tethered in reality. No supernatural happenings to be found. So I really, really appreciate your comment, and thanks so much for reading!!

Good start. I'm very intrigued by the librarian of course. I know you said you didnt put supernatural and had no plans to take it in that direction, but at the moment, the fact that the young guy is in a picture in this 'very old book that is a new addition to the section' could imply he's not a normal human.

I'd have liked to see a bit more clarification on some things, like was his fiance female? i also didn't quite understand how they planned a honeymoon in paris, but he is still saying fiance and not wife.

I'd like to know more about the main character's background too. Why would two people just married sell off all their stuff to go on some big trip? What did they plan to return to once home? these are just some questions i'd have posed if i were beta reading this story for you. I enjoyed the library scene b/c the young guy is acting very strangely. what does he know about the main character? did he see him on one of his other trips to the library and to that section?

I look forward to more and would suggest getting someone to beta read so they can point out any holes in the story or inconsistencies.

If you're never going to update, why would you start such an intriguing story? Either delete it or please finish it.