by Pars001
Great job, great story line. Do you have an editor? If not, I am willing to help with that. Your writing style has greatly improved, just a bit of work is needed on your continuity. Keep up the good work!
This has turned into a stupid story. Characters are acting out of their normal behaviour.
Why would Johnathon choke his baby sister Trina? Where did that come from? Totally from nowhere.
I give up, I should have given up ages ago. It’s just so hard to read now. Sentences and whole paragraphs just make no sense.