All Comments on 'For the Love of Shawna'

Great story!!!

Even though I prefer hairy pussies.

Nice. Except for the mom revealing that she was a slut. Took away from the sweetstory

Please write more! And give that sexy Joshua some hair for his sexy chest. He is a very wonderful young man!

but what got me from early was why Josh and Shawna couldn't carry on being in contact with each other after he had to leave because of his parents' circumstances. I think they only moved to the other side of the city, so yes, they'd be at different schools, but they have phones etc? And they could travel to see each other?

I had to just switch these thoughts off and then enjoyed the story as you'd imagined!

Enjoyed your story, just couldn't figure out the relevance of the ending, seemed detached from the rest of the story!

I love how you took your time with these two lovers...didn't need the whole back story of the mom tho...pls keep writing more like this tho

Good buildup, nice chemistry between characters. Epilogue was not necessary.

What a distgusting slut.

My first reading from this author. I will certainly look forward to reading his other presentations. I enjoyed his story line and how he developed his characters. I liked his building the plot and some of the surprises that he added. Over all I think he has the makings of an excellent writer. Thanks for sharing. BK

Love how he stayed true to her. Thanks for sharing your talent with us. It was a good length, too, but it would have been nice if it had been longer. I would have liked to know how it went on their trip.

This story did a complete about face when Carol morphed into Snow White and got Bill to grant her a second chance, and Steve's wife to give him a second chance. I accepted the character development of Shawna and Joshua and felt for Josh when his family had to downsize and move. I believed Carol (and probably Bill) was just poison to Shawna and Josh. Josh was doing well getting back to his true love while Shawna fought off the horny guys. I never questioned why our love birds didn't write or call each other during this separation.

I turn the page and Carol is now Mary Magdeline who has the ability to make a silk purse (her revitalized marriage) out of the sow's ear (Bill's divorce filing) and get the forgiveness of two families to live happily ever after. Wow! That's skillful writing. It completely made me ignore Jessica pimping Shawna for her son.

I felt DOMann1959 just gave up on the original story plot and shoved pages 6 and 7 at the readers. What the hell is the purpose of the epilog? It was a showoff by Shawna to make Josh's dates cry because they couldn't have him. I didn't picture Shawna being this cruel.

I have to think about following this author. I still rated the story a "5". Go figure.

I really love stories about first loves that actually make it. Young people who know that they're meant for one another, save themselves for each other, find one another again and stay together once they confess. It's a really wonderful concept that relationships like that can work out beautifully. None of those breaking up while in college, trying other fuck friends before they settle down plot devices. Just two people who know down to their bones that they've already met the one for them and have no need to delay being together. It's a beautiful, romantic concept that's sadly ignored by a lot of writers who don't find it "realistic".

The only issues I had with this story was in the details. Firstly, Carol's turn around was a little too clean, a little too sudden. I understood that she had an epiphany after getting vocally reamed out by Josh but it was a bit too easy for her to convince Bill to take her back and Steve to apologize and so forth. Also, what was up with all the nasty details she just had to confess to Shawna? Her daughter didn't need to know she was getting gang banged by a bunch of college douchebags while she was in her third trimester. What mother admits stuff like that? Yeah, sure, tell her you were still cheating on her father when they first got married since that was an indicator that she had doubts, insecurities, and not as much respect for Bill as she should have but all those details were completely unnecessary for her purposes.

The other part that was just freakin' bizarre was the entire epilogue. Why would she gather a bunch of women who'd friend-dated her husband in high school and survey how his kissing their hands made them feel? It made no sense. At first I had the horrible thought that she actually doubted Josh's word that he never did anything with those girls and was trying to check on him but that thankfully wasn't the case. So, why did she do it? To convince Josh his hand kissing was orgasmic? Just silly and it had no real purpose. There were a dozen other things that could have been written as an epilogue to make the wrap up seem more satisfying.

Regardless of the issues, I really enjoyed this story of true love gone right. It's hope inspiring and very sweet and the world needs more of that in it. Well done.

The stuff with Shawna's parents was wrapped up a little too quickly and neatly for my tastes. However, everything between Josh and Shawna and between either of those two with Josh's parents was really well done. In the end I'd call it a really good story, but not a perfect one.

I couldn’t get past the ridiculous drama in the beginning of the story. Oh, how will two teenagers ever get past the heartbreak of living on the opposite sides of the same city? Never to see each other again?! Be more creative.

Too much talk about stuff we‘ve already read about. Boring.

I'm torn between 5 stars for Josh's story, and 1 for Bill taking back his asswipe of a "wife"