Try the free LITEROTICA WEBCAMS!

All Comments on 'Forbidden Foods: The Gladen'

by solitarycafe

Sort by:
Newest FirstOldest First
  • 2 Comments
HaydenDLinderHaydenDLinderover 6 years ago
OK so this critique makes me feel like a jerk.

Solid story. Very well told. BUT you have a lot of wasted space in this one. I like the character and the descriptions but most of this post wasn't really necessary for the story. And NO I don't mean more sex. I mean you could have gotten to the elf by page one. I think you're being over descriptive and need to tone it back a bit.

That being said. I am very much looking forward to the next part of this story.

solitarycafesolitarycafeover 6 years agoAuthor

I have been trying to trim my writing a bit and I definitely agree that this story could have been shortened. I appreciate the feedback!

Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Login
Post as:
Anonymous
Login
usersolitarycafe@solitarycafe
37 Works
299 Followers
Writing is my life's greatest passion! (Besides coffee!) Otherwise, I'm just a humble introvert, loving husband to wonderful, collared wife, and a cat dad. I enjoy intelligent, natural conversations with all kinds. Sometimes I succeed in being witty without being pretentious...