All Comments on 'Forgive Me...But You're Mine Ch. 02'

Wow! I am loving the plot....and am guessing its only gonna get more intense as the time line inches forward. You are obviously a very talented writer...your descriptions are beautiful and very real.

On a side note.. Is there any way you can correct the title of your story? It should be "You're" not "Your" it sort of gives a false negative impression about an otherwise wonderful story.

Hoping you would post another chapter as soon as possible. I think this might just be my new favorite story in this category :)

I'm loving this story; the situation and dynamics are so hot. It's also well written. Just one complaint: the title. It should be "you're mine" not "your mine." I know it's not a big deal and that no one on this site is shooting for great literature, but I just find it really offputting, especially since in general the story is well written. Thanks for writing anyway.

The story and characters are developing very nicely. You have us invested in these people and what happens to them. Your hints about the other house member were spot on if one followed the trail.

Pesky editing issues, but this was probably submitted before the first even dropped. The story is well received, so take the time to polish chapters. :). However, story will always trump editing and hunni, you have a story.

I love the story. I think you are developing the characters well. The story just needs some tlc from an editor. It's definitely small things like the dam spelling is for a structure that has to do with water. You want the damn spelling which is short for damnation. Also where you were describing the thugs as roughens it should say ruffians. I think you have a great story it just needs someone to check for these kind of errors you might miss.

Thanks for posting this story. I, for one, will take faster posting over perfect grammar any day. I was wondering both where are you from and where are the characters meant to be from? I think all the characters are meant to be American but Nicki uses words like "trainers" and "mobile" instead of the American vernacular 'sneakers' and 'cell phone' or just 'cell'.

Anywho that is not a big deal I really am commenting just to say how much I am enjoying the story. Can't wait for Chap 3

hi. i am relatively new to writing and i honestly didnt think anyone would be interested in my story let alone leave comments on it. i am aware i put the wrong your in the title and have plans to change it soon. i am also aware my grammer and spelling are not brilliant in this story but honestly i just wanted to focus on writing a gripping story for you and sometimes when you get so involved in the characters of your story you forget all the other important things like grammer and spelling. if people continue to enjoy my stories i will definately invest in a talented editor on literotica but for now please just try and enjoy the plot and the emotions of the characters.

Thankyou for all the positive comments they inspire me to keep improving my work :)

I love the potential this has. Getting involved with someone marked for death is juicy to say the least. I'm not understanding the attraction to Steve, sounds like there are no redeeming qualities there. I'm pretty sure I would have killed him myself by now. I love your title, very creative. It wasn't so much the spelling and grammar that stopped me every so often as it was the differences in word choice/spelling. As someone mentioned before the use of the word 'trainers', without the context I wouldn't have known what you were talking about. The spelling with -ise suffix instead of -ize would always make me stop too. (realize, apologize, humanize) However these aren't mistakes, they are just differences. Write how you want to write, with whatever suffix or word choices you want. I want to see how this one turns out. :)

I'm loving it so far! Keep it up!

I like your writing. Keep going.

I've been checking back every day just to see the next chapter. Can't wait to see what happens next. Thanks for the entertainment, very good so far. It seems I'm not the only one who feels that way!

Love this so far! I like the potential it has. I really hope you continue...

Still waiting..............hope it's good.

GAH! I need more! Don't forget about us! :D

Learn to spell!

Are you planning on carrying on with this? If you are, then will you please post chapter 3. I like this story a lot, and would love to read more. Please leave a comment, so we know what is happening.

Or is then another unfinished story,,what do you writers do,,get 1/2 way thru a story,cant finish it and change your name and go at it again,,,getting almost not worth the time to come on this site anymore,,,waste of tim,,,,

Please could we have another chapter? I really like this story and I think you are very talented. Please, please, please.

I'm so sorry I haven't kept up with this story, its because I wrote these two chapters for myself figuring that no one would be interested in the lives of these two characters except for me. I'm shocked to see that so many lovely people have found themselves as invested in these two as I was. For this reason alone I will get back to telling their story for whoever would like to listen.

Thank you so much for the support on my writing if you want to know more about Jared and Nicki I will be happy to keep writing their story.

xx

I would love to continue reading this story. I feel it has so much potential. Keep going please.

Hi there,

I hope you continue this story. I think it holds a lot of potential for both excitement and eroticism. Very well written so far!

/Kroelle

Love this story so far. While grammatical mistakes usually bother me, I understand that it is impossible to edit your own work. When was in writing 101 I would proofread my assignments, sometimes read words that weren't there and other times I skipped words that should not have been there.

Please continue with the story. Maybe explain how Nikki ended up with Steven in the first place.

do you have a blog or webpage? i cant wait to get another page of this. usually i detest cliff hangers but i almost want to beg you to just publish what ever you have as quickly as possible ...... puh puh pleeeease let them have a HEA and more detail on what they physically look like other than beautiful. I am grasping at straws to imagine Nikki. xoxo Maliceon

Please please pleaaaase can you put the next chapter up?!!!?! I cannot wait to read it, I really hope you put it up soon please, I'm addicted and need my next fix!!

It's amazing there's been no hot sex yet in this story yet I'm totally engrossed. Please update your addicted readers as to when or if we can expect another chapter. Love the premise of this story and you do a great job writing through both characters' POVs....not an easy thing to do when writing fiction. I love stories that are told from both the female and male's perspective. Thanks for sharing.... hope to see an update soon about a possible next chapter. I'm eager to see how this story unfolds.

You have a way with words. Pls post chapter 3 I really can't wait to see what happens next

This story deserves to be finished.