Forgiveness with Retribution

All of a sudden, he kissed me on the lips. The kiss was long and passionate. I was shocked, but I did enjoy it and I didn't protest. That evening he kissed me again and again, and each time he did, it made me feel better than the previous one. Yes, that evening I became addicted to the excitement and to his kisses. This is how it all began.

The following Friday that we went out together, he found an excuse to take me out of the pub and we went necking in his car. From there our passion evolved, and soon we were fucking like rabbits in the back seat of his car.

Even at work, we got into the habit of hugging and kissing when there was no one around.

I often allowed Vic to take my rear hole whereas Ron had never done that. He had tried quite a few times, but I always insisted that it was dirty and he simply stopped asking me.

I didn't see it at the time, but in reality, Vic was starting to take over from Ron as my first choice.

We had been lovers for four months. The sex with him was fantastic.

"Nancy, can you even begin to see how much those words hurt me. You admitted you were 'fucking like rabbits' and even hugging and kissing at work. To top it off, you gave him anal sex. I don't remember trying 'quite a few times,' but I do remember once when we were trying to see if we could get into a certain position that we had seen on a porno video.

"The words that destroyed and emasculated me most were: 'Vic was starting to take over from Ron as my first choice.' So, what you are saying is that four months with him made you forget all about your fifteen years with me.

"In four months' time, you elevated him to first choice in your heart. You preferred your lover of four months to the father of your two children, the man who had loved you for more than 15 years! I guess that says everything that I need to know."

"Ron, you probably won't believe me, but I was already tiring of the affair. The luster had faded. As far as the anal sex goes, I didn't actually give it to him, he took it. He was doing me doggie style. Without a word, he pulled out of my pussy and entered my rear hole.

"Ron, you are a lot bigger than him. Your cock is longer and wider than his. I was always afraid of the pain with you. There was some pain with him too, but it was tolerable.

"I had intercourse with Vic a total of ten times. We were in the middle of our tenth time when you stopped us. He pulled that hole-switching thing during our fifth time. He took me anally five times in total. Three of those times I didn't have an orgasm. The two times that I did was because I was rubbing my clit while he was doing it. I caused those two orgasms, not him. I didn't enjoy anal sex. Not at all.

"I wouldn't let him do anything else after anal sex. There was no way in hell that I was allowing him to put his cock in my pussy or especially in my mouth after it had been in my rear hole. He knew that anal sex ended it all for the night.

"If you will remember, I skipped the 'girl's night out' that was scheduled two weeks before the night that you caught us. I stayed home with you and the girls that night.

"I had told Vic that I didn't want to do anal anymore. He told me that after a woman had given birth a couple of times, like I had, they were not tight enough to give a man much pleasure. He more or less indicated that if he could not do me anally, he might not want to continue with me at all.

"That was my first indication that he was just using me for sex. You had never made a complaint like that after I had given birth. I know that I said in my statement that you had tried to do anal 'quite a few times.' That statement is technically true, Ron, but it is somewhat misleading.

"Most of those times were after you had your ankle operation. Every time you took one of those big pain pills, the ones that you called 'horse pills,' you wanted to have sex. You tried for my rear hole every time you had taken a 'horse pill.' The next morning, you couldn't remember even having sex, so maybe I shouldn't have counted that week when you were medicated.

"That time you remembered, the studio had been asked to put an English voice track on a Russian porn film. I did the voice of the girl. I brought the video home and we watched it together. I still don't know how those two got into that position for anal sex, but we never got it to work. I don't think we tried all that hard, come to think of it.

"What I remember most is us talking about anal sex after our failure to get into that position. I said it was dirty. I remember you saying that you thought it would be dangerous to the woman since that hole was designed for one-way traffic. You were concerned that it might cause some serious damage to me. You were thinking of me, but Vic obviously wasn't. I guess I overreached with that 'quite a few times' statement. Sorry, Ron.

"Anyway, I was considering skipping the next after-work night too, but since it was Vic's birthday celebration, I relented and went. We threw a party for him with cake and ice cream that afternoon at work. The celebration was slated to continue during 'girl's night out' at the Glass Shoe that evening. If I had just stuck to my guns and skipped that evening, we might have avoided all of this heartache.

"Anyway, the whole thing was getting tiresome to me in multiple ways. For one thing, it was not easy having sex in a car, period. Also, I had to wear clothes that were easy to remove. I couldn't come home with my clothes all wrinkled, so I had to take them all off and fold them up neatly. That's why I was completely naked when you caught us. I also had to take a makeup kit with me so I could restore my face using that little mirror on the sun visor in the car. It was getting to be a pain on many levels.

"Luckily, when I got home on Friday nights, you were always watching that Sports Roundup show. That always allowed me to shower and get rid of any lingering evidence of my sexual activity before I interacted with you and the girls. I guess what I am trying to say is that it was probably over. You caught me on what might have been the last night of my affair. How incredulous is that?"

"Nancy, in all that you just said, I never heard you address the statement that hurt me so much. You didn't deny that Vic had become your number one! That tells me a lot too.

"Did you ever give any thought to the possibility of getting an STD, Nancy? Did you ever think that you might infect me too? How could you have sex with me after having unprotected sex with a single man that could have been fucking half of the girls in the town?"

"Ron, I always cleaned and re-cleaned myself before I had any contact with you. I never kissed our daughters either until I had gargled and brushed several times. I did worry about getting an STD, but Vic assured me that there was nothing to worry about and I guess I believed him."

"Nancy, you still didn't answer the 'number one' thing, so I guess I know the answer. Before we can make any progress, we need to clear up the current status of your relationship with Vic. You have said that the physical affair was close to ending. Maybe it was, but what about your love for him. If that is still there, then the danger is still real. It is only a matter of time until the physical stuff re-emerges.

"I think that we should bring Vic in for a session with us and Shelly. We should let Shelly determine what really exists between the two of you. I would like to be there, but if that makes you uncomfortable, then schedule a session with just the three of you. That needs to be done before I will participate in any more of this crap."

At that point, I got up and headed for the door.

Nancy grabbed me and pulled me back. "First, I need you to hear what happened when I returned to work on Tuesday morning."

I sat down and scowled at her. "Ok, so enlighten me. I suppose you had a heart-to-heart with the handsome and debonair, Vic."

"I didn't see Vic at all. I was immediately summoned to the head office to see Mr. Landry, the manager of the studio. It was not a pleasant experience. He showed me an email that he had received. The email stated that Vic and I had violated the company 'sexual contact in the work-place policy' multiple times. There was a video attached that showed Vic and me kissing and messing around in my office. I have no idea how he got that video. He must have had a hidden camera or something. Is that even legal? Isn't that an invasion of privacy or something?

"Ron, I mentioned in my statement that we had hugged and kissed at work, but the video showed us doing a bit more than that. I never had intercourse with him at work, but several times I gave him a blow job and a few times he fingered me to orgasm. The video that Mr. Landry had obtained showed both activities happening. I need you to understand that intercourse only occurred on 'girl's night out' every other Friday for about four months.

"I compartmentalized my sex with Vic. It was completely separate from the rest of my life. I never let him take me to a sleazy motel or spent hours in sex with him. We always had to get back to the group within thirty minutes or less. It was pretty much one orgasm and then get back with the group."

She went on to tell me that Mr. Landry had received the email on Monday morning. That day, of course, she and I were seeing Shelly.

She said that Mr. Landry had confronted Vic with the evidence, and that Vic had put the blame on her. Vic had said that she had refused to help him learn his job unless he would do sexual things with her.

"I don't have to tell you how mad I was at Vic and how much I felt that he had betrayed me and tossed me under the bus, Ron."

She went on to tell me that the boss had started interviewing other people in her department yesterday to see if any of them had any knowledge about what Vic and she had been doing, especially at work.

When he got to Emily, he struck gold. It was Emily and Fred that were the 'other couple' at luncheons and after-work events. They knew all there was to know about the relationship between her and Vic. Landry got a very different story from Emily and Fred. He quickly determined that the story Vic had told him was pure bullshit.

At that point, Landry had obtained the names of everyone that attended the events at the various bars. After interviewing those people, he knew what had happened at every luncheon and every after-work function. He determined that Nancy had not been raped or forced, she was a willing participant. It was also apparent that Vic had been the instigator.

Mr. Landry stated that the company had strict policies in place concerning inappropriate sexual contact and activities while at work. He told her that upon gathering all of the details, including the fact that her husband had discovered her indiscretion last Friday night, he had no choice but to let her go.

He said that since she had violated company policy, there would be no advance notice and no severance pay. Both parties had taken well-documented training about the company policy, so that left him no alternative but to fire them. Vic went yesterday and she would go today.

He told her to empty her desk and leave the building. He had his secretary accompany her through the packing of her things and stay with her all the way through turning in her identification card and leaving the office for the last time. She had been very humiliated.

"Ron, do you still think that we need to have a session with that asshole, Vic? I am the one that destroyed everything that meant anything in my life, but he was the one that drove the car that took me over the cliff, so to speak."

Well, both she and Vic had suffered from my retribution plan. Was it time to begin the forgiveness phase?

"Nancy, please believe me when I say that I take no joy or pleasure in seeing you suffer in any way because of your mistake. I'm glad that you finally see the truth about Vic, and I want only good things for you. You are the mother of my children and their happiness is directly linked to your happiness, as is mine.

"Is there any chance that you could return to Acme and go back to work for Betty?"

Nancy was working for Acme before we were married. She worked for them until the kids came along. Then, she still filled in when she could have someone (me quite often) watch the kids. Once both kids were in school, she worked part time. This continued until she was able to return to work full time. She ended up going to work for the movie studio because it paid so well.

"Ron, you know me so well that it's scary. Would you believe that within minutes of leaving my office, I was on my cell to Betty? I asked her how things were going at Acme. She said that things were going OK, but they would be a lot better if I would come back.

"Betty, did you really mean what you said at the coffee shop last week when you indicated that I could become a part-owner in Acme?"

"Indeed, Nancy. I meant every word. When are you going to come in and sign the papers?"

"How about right now, Betty?"

"Are you joking with me, Nancy? Please don't raise my hopes unless you mean it. Don't be kidding around with me."

"Betty, I'm as serious as a heart attack. I am about ten minutes away. Have those papers ready."

She went on to say how happy everyone at Acme was to have her back and how happy she was to be a part-owner in a very promising business. She was looking forward to working with Betty and Peggy. It would be like working with family. She would be working with them starting tomorrow.

"Congratulations on your partnership and returning to the mothership. I always thought it was a mistake when you left Acme. You got considerably more money, of course, at the studio, but money isn't everything, Nancy."

"What a price I paid to learn that lesson, honey. Now, can I somehow regain something I have lost that means so much more than a job? That is the question now. Let me begin by setting the record straight about some things.

"When I said that Vic had become my 'first choice,' it was at a certain time and for a limited duration. What I meant by those words was that I was infatuated with the relationship and excited by it. You had been my only choice for all of those years. You were my number one. For about two months, I thought about Vic way too much and I was under a spell or something like that. During that time, you had slipped down, but never to number two. You were never second best. Maybe you were one-and-a-half or something, but never second. Oh, hell, this is not coming out right. I don't have the words to explain it. My words don't even make sense to me."

"Your words are making at least as much sense as your actions did. Just go on, Nancy," I exclaimed.

"Well, after Vic started to use my rear hole and showed no consideration for my feelings, he started slipping down. As he went down, you went up. Ah---that's not right, strike that, you were always up. He just went down. At no point though, were the two of you equal. You were number one and he just shot down below you. It was like 'don't pass Go,' he just slid right past you on a downward spiral. He was never your equal. I am still not making sense. Do you understand what I'm saying, Ron?"

"I think you are trying to say that Vic became your first choice for about two months during the beginning of your affair, but then you found out you had made a mistake and he came tumbling down from that perch."

"That's it, Ron, that's exactly what I was trying to say. You have a way with words, honey."

"Let's take a little break," said Shelly. "It's time for both of you to regroup for a while."

Shelly gave us some hot tea that she said would calm us down some. I think it worked because Nancy made more sense as she continued.

"I said in my statement that I thought that I had fallen in love with Vic. The operative word is 'thought,' I didn't say I had, I said I 'thought' I had.

"As soon as the dome light came on in that BMW and I saw your face, any 'thought' that I was in love with Vic went flying out of that car door that you had just opened.

"I was laying there in the most compromising position possible, looking into very familiar eyes that showed surprise, anger and sorrow. They showed unbearable sadness and incomprehensible hurt. Even though one man's cock was deep inside me, my heart cried out to the other man. To the man that I was hurting.

"Right at that most awful time in my life, the man that was just using me became dirt to me and my heart flew out of my chest and pleaded with the man that was watching us, to forgive me

"What did I see in this lustful man that was still inside of me. He knew that I was married, but still pursued and seduced me. I didn't love this man, I loved the man that was staring at us in disbelief.

"What hurt me most of all was the undeniable fact that I was mostly to blame for this whole, unthinkable situation. I loved one man and one man only. That man was running away from this horrible scene. He was stumbling and crying as he ran. I struggled to disentangle myself and catch him. I tried, but I failed.

"Ron and Shelly, please believe me, if I had ever really been in love with Vic, that love died that night. It took the worst night of my life to extinguish any love that I might have had for Vic and rekindle the love that I had always reserved for my husband.

"Then, when Vic threw me under the bus with his blatant lie to Mr. Landry, any love that lurked anywhere in my heart, though I don't think there was any, was replaced with hate. All that is left, is pure hate for Vic and pure love for Ron.

"Ron, I will do anything to keep our daughters from being hurt by what I have done. I am willing to accept anything that prevents them from being hurt, no matter how much it might hurt me. I deserve it, they don't."

"Nancy, I don't see any way that we can keep from hurting them. While I'm truly sorry that you lost your job in such a humiliating fashion, I just can't bring myself to forget your affair. Why? For all of the reasons that I have listed today. These words that came straight from your statement. I, too, wish there was a way to protect our daughters from the unavoidable fallout.

"Shelly already thinks that she has lost control of this meeting. What I am about to say might make that even worse.

"Since you and I had been given a homework assignment by Shelly, I decided to give our girls a homework assignment too. I asked them to write down their thoughts, fears and hopes about the problem that our family is facing. It broke my heart when I read what they wrote.

"I was hesitant to have you read it, but after what I heard from you today, and knowing that you also want to make life as good as possible for our girls, I think you should read this."

I handed copies to both Nancy and Shelly.

Dad, this is our attempt to do the "homework assignment" that you gave us.

First, we are facing some problems at school as a result of the rumors about Mom's infidelity. Lots of them are circulating among our classmates. Unfortunately, they have most of the facts right. It has made us wonder if it would be advisable for us to transfer to another school.

We have talked about this a lot. We have decided that we would rather not leave our friends. Any of them that will not accept us after hearing about Mom's cheating are not friends anyway.