All Comments on 'Francine and Her New Neighbors'

very unrealistic and stupid, could have been a lot better

Great start with exciting way to end.

"Kevin nodded yes, and smiled, and she went into a drawer, and came back with a can of lavender scented shaving gel, a Venus razor, a towel, which she had warmed with hot water and left her sink full of it. "

Care to rewrite this? It doesn't make sense.

There are another ones, suggesting you need to focus on your writing and not your left hand.

Unrealistic is too kind. When told he's a great pussy eater, why would he be humiliated? That's a notch for the headboard.

Good start for a LONG running story. Mother could show up along with his big tilted sister. The neighbors daughter could show up in another chapter. Endless chapters could "cum" along.

Waiting for the next chapter in this GREAT story line.

Francine and Kate are going to get the kid all fucked up the way they mess with his head, but he's going to get a lot of sex out of it-this is a good start to lots of possibilities. I like the idea of Kevin going down on Francine after he's come inside her. A lot of guys won't do it, but it will send your partner into orbit when you lick over her come slick clit. Not a big fan of the shaved look, but that's just a personal preference, I suppose. I've always felt there's nothing like plowing into a big, furry twat.

You go from third person to first.

Your grammar is appalling as if English isn't your first language.

You need to edit before posting.