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All Comments on 'Friendly BBQ Surprise'

by 2429youngins

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  • 3 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Typos

Clean the typos up and it will make a better story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Hot story, but the typos are distracting.

I too vote for cleaning up the typos, because this is really close to being a great little story. I like the breathless pacing and the stream-of-thought storytelling. Lucky lady!

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Second person is always a terrible idea

You hate reading them

Anonymous
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