All Comments on 'Friends & More'

Switching from First person to third person through out the story really took away from the story. It sounds like you just transcribed a hot phone or cyber sex session.

It's mentioned that the woman was married and the guy drops by for booze and a rental flick. Where is the husband when all this transpires? Out of town, separated, out at a bar? Spend a little more time and develop your characters. A couple of times you leave off the apostrophes: "were" should be we're for example. Develop your characters and describe them better. A good attempt - keep on submitting.

hard to follow & didn't make much sense in places. i second what the other, previous 2 commenters said.