All Comments on 'Friends of My Daughter'

on page 3 at the top, "he stood up and threw his clothes on the floor.." then 2/3 of the way down....they're taking them off again.... A little proofreading is needed.

Have a good one!

Apart from a spelling and grammatical mistake or two this story gripped(?) me from start to finish. It started a bit abruptly and strung itself out until it then finished rather abruptly too!

Long lasting passion such as this makes me wonder if the writer is writing from experience or is just wishing and hoping?

Waste of timing reading this story. Proof reading your work is highly recommended, as is editing!

I did my best to get through your story, but when I read "drug it" as your substitute for "dragged it," my body cringed at your abuse of the language, and I could go no further. I don't mean to be discouraging, but I see that you have four stories posted, and if you're really serious about writing with the intent of having others read your work, you must consider a formal course in sentence structure and composition. I'm not trying to single you out; there's so much poor writing on this site, and, I suppose, everywhere on the web. A decade ago, people dictated their ideas, and a secretary corrected the grammar and composition. Now everyone's his own secretary. Unfortunately a spell checker won't pick up an error like "drug," nor will it correct a story that switches back and forth between past and present tense, as in one I also couldn't finish yesterday.

I know it's not fair, but I'm taking out on you my profound anger and sadness about the general lack of striving for excellence in the quality of everything in this country.

The other thing that made me stop reading was that I sensed a lack of respect for this young girl, and perhaps, for women in general. This is your daughter's close friend, and I anticipated a tender, loving relationship to develop. Instead, I got the opposite feeling because of words like "slimy" and "horny little cutie."

True, this story needs more editing, but it was hot, hot, hot! Keep up the good work!

cameras need to go or need to be placed under the other category about forced sex.

I loved this story! Exceptionally hot & steamy, yet tasteful. I have a weakness for Asian women, and I'm over 50, so this hit very close to home. I do have to agree about the cameras part though, one mention would be ok, but you did dwell on them too much, and yes there were a few grammatical errors, in my opinion. Be that as it may, a minor distraction from an otherwise outstanding story that now rates as my favorite on Literotica!

I have had the luck of watching a hot little babe from her freshman year in college until finally getting her in my bed. Keep writing and maybe I will get the rest of my daughters friends !

Very very hot.....can't wait to read the next chapters to it...mmmmmm!!

Yes I agree your story needed more proof reading but I was able to get past the mistakes because of how easily I could relate to the story. I've had a thing for older men since for as long as I can remember. Keep up the good work and don't stop writing! Thank you :)

I did enjoy this story but echo comments about proofing. Not only are there cases of incorrect word usage - there vs their - but Aimie is talking about George and switches and starts calling him Will, which is Anne's boyfriend. Spell check can't catch these type of mistakes but if you don't catch them, they can/will distract your readers and detract from the story.

Yes there were some issues with the story however I was not affected by it. However I did NOT like the ending. I know she is a lot younger than he is, but she likes older men! Does she like them enough to continue to have a relationship with him? What about the recordings? What about how his daughter feels, when she finds out? What about Ellen when she finds out, will she want some? Or will he be so infatuated with Aimie that he will want to be exclusive? There is a lot more room for future stories

I didn't see the other 2 chapters

That was so sexy. I can only hope the rest of this story is as good.

Where he got dressed again when he was done making her cum.

Although I picked this story because it is a favorite topic of mine (older guy with young friend of daughter),

and although I also like the Asian aspect,

and although it is quite well written (the editing errors mentioned in comments did not bother me),

I had a hard time enjoying this tale, especially the latter half.

It is so wordy that it drags out the story, taking so long to move the story forward, that it became tedious.

For example, mentioning the security cameras and how their capabilities would contribute to his later enjoyment, would be fine. But as elaboration continued, I began skipping/scanning. Then when it was brought up again in later paragraphs...what the???? More skipping, slightly annoyed.

Aside from the cameras, it took so long to get the next action completed (eg. head of cock to even begin to enter her pussy lips) that I'm jumping forward through the mass of words to try to find where the next action starts.

So I down-rated it to 4 stars.

I suppose I'll try reading (scanning).the next chapter.

Paul in Oklahoma

But I'll just add that your security camera system capabilities were pure BS. Signed: BTW

...Anonymous 05/17/06 (titled: Impossible).

First, the grammatical problems.

I did not notice them (and I have 8 years education past high school).

If I heard someone say, "I drug it through the mud," it is such a common shirt sleeve English (to borrow a Paul Harveyism) "mistake" that it would probably sound more normal than "dragged."

While I agree with Anonymous that there is an inordinate amount of badly written material on Literotica, this particular story is WELL within what is acceptable for writers on an amateur site.

Next, disrespect.

As I was reading, the idea that he disrespected his young friend

(or women in general) did not even occur to me. The term "horny little cutie" that Anonymous cites as an example of this disrespect, I actually took as admiration -- and as part of the wonder that he was privileged to have a cutie who was little and horny for him.

My view is that by Literotica standards, this story:

has a good plot/storyline

shows storytelling ability

has good use of language.

[See my previous comment for this story's problems.]

Paul in Oklahoma

This is the Best Ever Literotica story of a kind mature man fucking one of his daughter's young friends. I Give It a 10+ and it deserves it. The story is beautifully told, artistically descriptive, and complete. After getting a nice blow job from another of his daughter's girlfriends in an earlier tory. Daddy Ed gives little Aimee the full shot. He buys her exquisite clothes to wear through their mating, and does he most properly with a great eating out of her little pussy. Only then does he allow her to go down on his big cock, and is careful to let her find a way to get all of his big cock down into her mouth and throat. Just wonderful. And then he manages to work his big cock, bibt by bit, into her tight little pussy a he climaxes again and again. and then he gets her don on her hands and knees and fucks her from behind, while finger-fucking her tight little asshole. Marvelous! I know there is a continuing Chapter to read, and I can't imagine what else Ed will be able to do with his daughter's other friends, but I do hope he has the chance to put all of his talents into doing his little daughter Anne as well! Thanx for the great all-time Read!