All Comments on 'From Amber to Zoey'

Best LW story I have read in a long time.

It's important that two people are on the same page before they commit to each other. He wanted a family; she wanted a career.

Before we married after our sophomore year in college, we talked about how many children we wanted and even the names we would give them. We didn't care what kind of jobs we would have, and we agreed that whoever was doing better would work outside the home, with the other staying home when the children were very young. As it turned out, I supported him when he was a struggling artist, and after our children were born and he had achieved undreamed-of success, he put me through law school.

What was particularly nasty about this wife was telling her husband she was ready to start a family, then him seeing her with her lover. Was she already pregnant by the lover, or was she just planning to be? There should be a special rung in hell for women who make their husbands raise other men's children.

or a friend who isn't, TK U MLJ LV NV

Liked the way you brought it all together. Amanda got to see what her Children could have looked like.

I’m sure it could have been longer but I still enjoyed it a lot. Keep writing, I expect great things from you.

5*. Would have liked more on Amber and why but overall very good.

A good story...Not at all BTB, because she cheated and he asked for divorce...Unless some readers consider divorcing means "burning"...Those readers saying this is a BTB story are accepting that she was a bitch! The story was short and left in the open some issues: 1st - What took her (a top organized woman) to cheat? 2nd - She wanted to get pregnant. Who would she have chosen to be the father? Both were treated equaly: a pizza and a six pack...Finally an error: they were married for 8 years and he still was in his mid twenties? They had married after they had graduated...So she had graduated and married with 15? 16? and he with 17? Really? However not a bad story half LW and half romance...3*

Please write again

No burn, no reconciliation, no willing cuck - just life as it happens.

4/5 - deducted 1 point for the unrealistic reaction by her parents, just seemed to be deus ex machina to overwhelm her after being caught.

Not sure this should be in the Loving Wives section. Good story tho. Be interesting to find out why Amber was cheating as stated earlier. If she's just a loose legged slut is one thing. If she's not getting what she wanted at home is another. The age issues are kinda a moot point but do require thought in future stories. 3 stars

Nice story...But because the pain of betrayal was so great, we really need to get a Part 2 telling us the ex-wife's side of the story. You have an opportunity here to explore and develop her character. We need the why here. So many authors have been writing good stories about betrayal, but they always come up short with the why and the state of the wife's head when she tore her husband's heart out. C'mon man...finish the story!!

and a good read, no PIs, drama, intrigue, revenge-just a man with principles who gets rid of a partner with none and finds another with same set of guidelines.

and he got what he wanted.

...a bit terse to me.

Beyond that, it was a great story!

For me, characterization is always the toughest part of the story....makes it a lot longer, and makes it harder to move things forward.

You seem to balance that pretty well.

Like others, I find myself asking the question Jason didn’t want answered...”why?”.

And like others, I urge you to write Amber’s side of the story. I will wager here, you’ll have considerable difficulty coming up with a “why” that doesn’t come off sounding juvenile, selfish, self-serving irresponsible, irrational or even semi-psychotic. That’s because all of the “reasons” for cheating on so,done you claim to love are at least one of the above.

For myself, I don’t believe and can never understand how a woman can so effectively plan and execute an affair like Amber, yet still claim to love her husband and only him.

What?

Did she think her adultery was just some trivial play? Was she just entertaining someone, exploring other cocks? Lost her head? What really happened that she could honestly believe her affair was acceptable to any but those least capable of love? And IMO she had something going on, but not love.

Not that any of that would change the outcome.

People like that seem to have a disassociative malady. Their asses and their hearts aren’t connected, except through their heads....which are not screwed on straight to begin with....so....

Finally, I also found it interesting that after getting caught and resisting the divorce until he remarried, she moved on to the irony of achieving her goal....but had never re-married and then, ostensibly years later, she sniffled and teared up as she walked away from a chance meeting with he and Zoey in a grocery store.

Lamenting a lost toy? Certainly not lost love.

More, please.

Thank You.

Good one. Looks like there are a couple of good stories to read today. The rest are the usual non-erotic trash that belong in the garbage can. FIVE STARS

You never explained why she cheated .how can you love some one that. Much

And cheat. You ought to know he can't change the locks and keep her out of the home. If she called the police you would be in trouble,it had to go thru the courts or a settlement between you two. You forgot to tell us what happened to the cheaterChad. So what drove her to cheat with a married Chad no explanation given . An then he marries the messenger. Weird !

Read your bio. I think many of us will look forward to your future submissions. You scored well for a first timer, AND since I don't give a damn about self nominated critics I don't read them. Thankx! Corvette John in rainy Seattle

Enjoyed your story. More please.

A bit of a bad flow in writing

in the start, but got smoother

halfway.

Really good writing near the end.

Liked the story and how it played out.

Good work!

Writers of our kind of LW stories

tend to stick to formulas in their

writing. Most of them are good.

But I was delighted in this story

excluding one of them.

I'm talking about "having the talk",

after dumping a cheater.

I'm familiar with the concept "closure".

As big a part of female language

as "finding myself".

Not common in male language.

Why on earth most writers see

the need to add on to the pain

of cheating victims, by allowing

the sluts to burden them with

their excuses and justifications,

is beyond my understanding.

Some even allowing them to

describe their cheating in details!

Maybe it's just because I just don't understand

the M in S&M.

(Don't understand the S either, lol)

There are stories where the male victim

needs answers and closure.

But they are very few.

If the writers want to give the cheaters

side of the story, to the readers,

make them tell it to friends or family.

Not the victims!

Thanks again moreandmore for

your story.

Hope you entertain us with more

delights.

WANT MORE PLEASE........GREAT STORY........GAVE YOU A FIVE

I really do think this is a good story. I do also think it could have used a little more detail and development. In other words, it ended quicker than I wanted.

I don't agree with the comments that we needed to know why Amber cheated. You told the story basically from Jason's perspective, and since he had no interest in why she cheated, we don't need to know. All he cared about is that she did cheat, and he couldn't live with her anymore.

Where I would have liked to see more development. What happened to him before that led him to zero tolerance? I would love to hear more of the conversations with Zoey that led to them falling in love. It was clear from her parents reaction that they had a very strong relationship with him - that shouldn't end. If he got that close to Amber's parents, then he probably would do the same with Zoey's parents - it would be great to hear more about them, and how they influenced Zoey's values.

Still, a great beginning.

I'm sure you'll iron out the little issues with time and practice. To those claiming the reaction of the parents wasn't realistic, I'd remind you that they only JUST that moment found out, and saw the pain on their son-in-law's face and the lack of any explanation for their daughter's hurtful actions. If the dad had a temper, I could see him reacting like that. Doesn't mean he would stick to his words and stay angry at her, but in the heat of the moment...

I for one didn't especially care about reading Amber's reasoning, nor do I think Zoey would be ostracized for marrying the cheated-on ex husband of a teacher who used to work there but changed schools. Maybe by Amber's closest work friends, but not by everyone.

I thought it was a nice change of pace that his second wife wasn't the stunning beauty that puts the ex to shame that we get in most of these types of stories. Just a good woman who was ready to treat him right. Nor did he suddenly become a millionaire. It was sweet. To the person calling it PG, there were some blowjobs in there. I wouldn't go rush to publish this in the next church newsletter or anything if that was the plan.

Thanks for the story. I look forward to reading more from you.

Cog

Congratulations on an enjoyable, well written first story. Take with a pinch of salt any critiscisms about a character's behaviour unless its oft repeated. For me, the husband was plausibly described and neither a pussy-boy nor a triple A Rambo wannabe.

Thanks for the story.

The ending of the tale says it all. She, by cheating and destroying her marriage, got to succeed in her profession. He, by finding a new, faithful wife, got the family and life he wanted. And they lived happily ever after. Well. he did anyway. Great tale.

Five Stars

It's a bunch of clichés, the bitch got burned completely and perfectly, even with the cherry on top of having a career and no family. The dialogue is poor, and the sentence structure is simple and over used. Still, if this is your first story, you have tapped in to what some users on this site want. Work on your writing and you could make some decent stories. I don't mind the plot being so one dimensional, it's literotica after all., but I do mound that there wasn't more of an analysis of the cheating, why she did it and how long. She kinda just said the same things of "I love you, and you are the only one for me" Might have been better if he talked so we could find out what was going on. I'd give this story solid 2 stars, as there too many aspects you can improve upon.

I liked the direct style. As some other readers pointed out, the plot was predictable but so what? There are thousands of cheating wife stories on Liter that tell the same tale with just minor differences in details separating each. I wouldn't call this BTB, more like Ignore TB. Thanks for offering your work for all to enjoy.

Now THAT's what I'm talking about!

Unfortunately, we didn't hear how the male cheater life went to shit.

Did you even read this story ass wipe? Guess not, where is the btb, where is the fetish? You're out of your fucking mind. Go find another category or site to bitch in, you have no idea what you're talking about. Stay away from stories that have a rating of four stars, they're beyond your capability to understand. Stick with your willing cuckoldry, slut wife, hot wife, wimp stories, more your speed. FIVE STARS for a good story.

I laugh my butt off thinking of how I make cucks of these men who can't find a woman who will be " faithful ." Don't blame the woman when she finds another man like me with a real dick and who knows how to fuck her, blame your attitudes and your pathetic fucking.

This is a start of an interesting story that has potential but the story was written at about a high school level. There was a plot but poorly developed and quite shallow. This is another example of somebody who should take a creative writing course then try again. Read a few of the good authors to see how they develop a good story then use their style as an example.

Tiny Tim

Actually I thought this was good, for a first story. You did get a lot of criticism and much of it was right-on, but a lot was just more of the hate mail that’s so common on LW. Study the constructive criticism and read some of the good authors to see how they do it, and you’ll turn out stories that will be well worth the time it takes to read them.

I won’t say you’ll get high scores—not so long as you post on LW. It only takes one (whatever it is they consider themselves to be) with a score driven by spite instead of merit, to assure your overall score will be low. Switch to Taboo and you’ll get a different rating. Also don't forget this is supposed to be a site for erotic stories--this one is a bit short on that.

As I said before, you got some really good comments here, including many suggestions on how to make this story better. If I were in your shoes, I’d be looking forward to seeing a rash of similar stories that took the basic plot in other directions. It would be a wonderful help to your improving your plots.

I gave you 5***** since it was a first story. We need more new writers to replace those who have gotten disgusted and quit. LUCK cd

Thanks for sharing.

Write on!!!!

Your style works for me. Very creative. Ignore the critics. We need a story from Amber's point of view. Get to writing.

Not a bad first attempt, but the writing is kinda sloppy, I noticed several errors, the author could use an editor to help with proofreading, and as a sparring partner to give feedback to the plot.

A great first work. As someone pointed out you need and editor and some beta readers. It was a typical LW story but it was enjoyable, specially Zoey.

I encourage you to keep writing.

Excellent story. It was essentially a BTB story but done with a caring attitude "I try to never intentionally hurt anyone." Keep writing and I'll keep reading. Thank you.

P.S. I was looking at the title and it dawned on me 'A to Z'. I love the ssubtleness of the title. I think i'm in love with your mind....send me pink roses please.

That fellow author erroneously tells you a single score of 1 results in low overall score. Blatantly false. That author needs remedial arithmetic tutoring!

You currently have scored above 4 which is pretty good. 4.5 being very good. Above 4.8 excellent if not perfect!

I sensed condescension in carolina's tone. Perhaps I misread. However he seemed to consider himself an elite writer of this site. Having read all his works, he is not much better than you. His remark about writers leaving site because of bad or idiotic comments indicates he cannot handle criticism well. He is also unable to just ignore stupid comments. Those can come from anons and profile owners alike.

By the time you reach puberty you should know you cannot please everyone. Everybody won't fall in love with you. Country song states best philosophy in dealing with that truth.

''Some girls don't like guys like me. But some girls do!''

Only a small percentage of people have the courage to exhibit their art to the public. To be successful, you welcome and learn from constructive criticism. You ignore the hateful unfounded barbs. If you cannot do that, your psyche would be best served by only sharing your stories with those close friends and family who will without reservation automatically tell you how wonderful your stories are. Of course that means your writing will never improve.

Forget the ''for your first story...'' modifier. ''From Amber to Zoey'' was good story. Better in fact than a number of submissions from those authors considered ''the elites''

Keep writing, continue posting here and your audience will develop!

story thank you.

Almost, because the little subterfuge you tried with John and Maggie (of not telling us it’s Zoey’s parents) was un-needed. You should have just said. And I guess it would have been nice to know a little more about Chad. At least how they met.

and STILL a good story

You must have puked a great deal married to the slut you married. She fucked over 100 guys while you were married and you cleaned her out every night with you mouth!

A good fun story that flowed well. I did enjoy. thank you.

I enjoyed this story! Thanks for not making it a chuckhold!

Look forward to more!

Would be nice to know why Amber decided to have an affair !

For Amber! Sad it's a pity really! ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF!

The style of simple declarative sentences grabbed me from the get-go. I think this argues against the readers who wanted things fleshed out more. It's spare and concise. We have to use our imaginations to speculate on why she cheated. It also makes it quite plausible that Jason was able to move on to Zoey so quickly, so soon after his marriage broke down. I've never accepted the idea of a rebound relationship being doomed. It's always seemed to me that finding a soul mate is something to be grabbed with both hands. In fact I met my own wife under similar circumstances and if I hadn't been open to it I'd have passed on the greatest love of my life.

This is a really good read, as I've learned to expect from you. Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship, and I hope you don't mind me calling you Louis.

I don't consider this a BTB story. She cheated, he divorced her. Who cares why she cheated (we have probably read all the reasons why in other stories). He did not really Burn her at all--he just left her. He wasn't mean about it, he didn't go ballistic on her, he just divorced her with no hope of reconciliation. Knowing what she lost was her only Burn, and she did that to herself. Very realistic! The only unrealistic part was him finding another love so quickly.

I didn't really understand her pregnancy request. Was she setting him up in case she got pregnant with boyfriend?? Was she trying to tie him down in case she got caught cheating?? One of my 'pet peeves' with these stories is how much the cheater really, really loves her husband but only realizes it after she gets caught cheating. If you really, really love someone, you would never, ever take a chance on cheating and possibly loosing the one you really, really love.

Thank you for a very enjoyable story.

I wonder who exactly Chad was to Amber, other than her current BF. I don't know that I care why she cheated. The reason is usually "I wanted something more..." "I needed something different...". The same reasons that sound like bullshit to the speaker even as she says them. She just wanted the thrill of sex with someone NEW. That it was illicit, because she's married, just made the sex better in-the-moment.

so nice when cheaters reap their own justice

consequences are a bitch ..... lol

I think that Zoey never happens. Given his very raw feelings, I don't think he pursues the mystery person that sent the email. More than that, when a man answers the phone when he calls Zoey, I thinks he hangs up and never calls again. He's still suffering from the divorce and I simply don't see any man going forward after that event.

One of your better stories. How did things work out for Chad?

Good solid story. A good man with a spine who stuck to his guns. Met a good woman he could trust, locked it down and got the family he wanted. Ex-wife got what she deserved. I call this one a win.

Not sure if I am the only survivor of a cheating wife to comment on this story, but here are my 2 cents. Not every affair ends in divorce. Mine didn't. The reason was 1, my wife acknowledged her selfishness and stupidity. We were in a bad place in our marriage but only she cheated. She owned up to that, she confessed that there was absolutely ZERO justification for what she diid. Reason. 2 is. ME. I didn't toss her the moment I found out. Precautions and preperations are good, but ALL professional advice is proceed carefully and cautiously. When a cheater goes to counseling by themselves that is usually a sign of hope and sincerity. Makes Jason a bit of a bastard, though just a bit

At least half of reconciliations don't last.

I hope, for your sake, yours isn't one of them.

I come from the other side.

I've never had reason to regret

divorcing a selfish wife.

You have no more right to call Jason a bastard,

than me calling you a wimp.

Most husbands don't accept cheating

from their wives.

Being victims, they deserve better

than being called bastards.

Only by showing respect

do you deserve respect yourself.

had any proof of infidelity other than she gave me a rare STD, but that was more enough coupled with her chasing me into a corner of our bedroom while slashing at me with a large kitchen knife...I heard she had anger management sometime after we were divorced...

The beginning of this story all the way through the confrontation with Amber at their house was done really well. Everything after that having to do with Zoey felt incredibly rushed, though. No real details given about their phone conversations or the content of Amber's texts except generalizations, then after the divorce his relationship with Zoey reads at warp speeds. I'm not sure if moreandmore got bored or what. It's just a shame, this started out with such emotional impact, I felt let down that the relationship with the woman who turned out to be the love of his life was dialed in.

Once divorce papers are filed, and especially one an agreement has been reached and they're just running out the clock, I don't get waiting for the divorce to be final to begin dating.

I know a guy who married to a slut. Their first child wasn’t his and their sixth child wasn’t his either. She cheated their entire marriage! So these husbands of these cheaters just accept the cheating that’s is why I call them wimps.

Excellent story and adequate BTB response.

I still think this is your best "serious" stories.

It would be interesting, why she cheated and who he was to her.

Of course in this case divorce is self-explanatory.

Sorry for writing as Anonymous. I'm trying to activate my account since July 2019, but didn't get support from LIT, Manu or Laurel. If you want to help me create a Thread in the Tech-Support-Forum, contact me: infosauger@gmx.at

I don't think I can express how utterly intriguing your story's are, each one seems to get better.

Nice story 👍

to @sbrooks103x:

A person may choose to wait for the divorce to be final to assure themselves that they don't become emotionally attached only to find their new love reconciles with their spouse. I found that somewhat common. I also found that others are quick to stake their claim in an attempt to ward off competition. Cuts both ways.

I liked that the writer didn't get bogged down in the consequences to Chad and Amber. I find that too many readers seem to believe that if the cheaters don't suffer ad infinitum it's not a good story.

That the new love interest for Jason was part and parcel of the story from the beginning even though Jason didn't know her was a somewhat creative device.

I expected some fallout from the "start a family" discussion at the beginning. Did Amber intend to have Chad's kid and have Jason raise it? Jason never asked that question. I would.

Typical of this writer, Jason never sought details of who, how long, how often, was he bigger, did you do things with him that you wouldn't do with me, etc.? Why do those things matter?

I'm surprised Jason didn't block Amber's phone number.

He was informed and took action

I would have liked details on how she got into affair

But good without

great short story!

I love what this guy did...he went right for his wifes ass and handed it to her...but again...Amber is caught cheating...it's as much her story as his...why don't we see her part of the story here...........

We always find out what happens to the husband in these stories...but almost never what happens to the wife...after all her cheating is the story here...yes she gets caught and we see lots of crying and panic...but that's all...I want to know what led up to her cheating and why...what was it that made her do what she did...and what did she feel when the divorce is final...that also is part of this story.....Right................

Very good story. Well written and interesting to the end.

Another read of this great story. Too bad a wronged husband doesn't always end up like this.

Well written with a satisfying finale. Having them each receive what they wanted was perfect, though hers was bitter. 5 stars.

Great story with maybe some lessons if one pays attention. Its easy to say that once the paper work begins that you can move on. Things can happen though and finishing one relationship before beginning the next is a step to closure. Thank you for your story.

somewhere east of Omaha

Amber deserve to be left in the dust

Many Lit writers tend to use the word 'GIGGLED', which makes the female speaker seem like a four year old. try using 'CHUCKLED' or 'LAUGHED' or some other adult synonym. Jes' sayin'.

Always curious, I'd like to know the why's and wherefore about Chad. You skirted this part very well.

Very touching, and well written. will be thinking on this long after the reading...

I think and hope its natural to be curious as to why she cheated while being "in love " with her husband. typical arrogant female entitlement?

Great plot, well written. I think that the MC (Jason) should have spoken to Amber (his first wife) to explain why they were divorcing - it would have been the mature thing to do. After all Jason may have misunderstood why Amber went into a hotel room with a strange man in a ‘fuck me’ dress without her wedding ring. She may have been innocently invited to study the man’s ‘etchings’. The only downside for me was that Jason was too perfect. I almost expected him to polish his halo. A flawed MC, a sleazeball, a shit, would have helped to make the story more real for me. Anyway, i enjoyed reading it. 5 stars.

Wow. Zoey’s life has a “certain order to it” so that makes it okay for her to meddle with other people’s lives that don’t fit her ‘sense of order’. Talk about entitlement. I liked the story, it was well written, short and sweet. And I can see how Zoey’s intent was reasonable, but her attitude about it was amazing. And not in a good way.

Read some of the comments. All I will say is 5 stars+++. And ignore the naysayers. Keep writing.

Very cute story. I have questions about the fate of Chad, and the timing of wanting to get pregnant while engaging in an affair, but sometimes not addressing such things is best.

5*

Was a good moral man. He acted like a good father should. Her betrayal was all the worse for trying to get pregnant by another guy. After her announcement the night before, we all know that's what she was doing. It was more than a fling with the other guy, she brought him the same kind of picnic she shared with her husband. She loved him. What a horrible bitch.

Proof read their comments before posting. It's like reading Egyptian hieroglyphs. @#_$%£¢√π∆¶

Good story BUT WHY do so many women want a bit of strange and cheat on hubby and then when found out say they only love hubby ???? I am like the husbands >>>>Burn the bitch and on second thoughts YES I am better off without her

Sometimes you don't how good you have it until you lose it. The problem is communication especially a lack there of. Women need to talk to their men and tell them what they want in life and in sex. The same goes for men.

I thought it was a pretty good little story. At least Jason and Zoey had their own principles, in that they wouldn't stand for any cheating, married or not. Those are values you can respect, and will make for a long lasting marriage. As for Amber, I can only figure that she got hit by the "Martian Slut Ray", as to why she cheated.

I read an article a day or so ago that stated that most women are likely to cheat on their husband after 5 years, and most men will do it after 7 years. Those kind of facts bother me when I read some of the stories in the "Cheating Wives" forum, that cheat after 15 or 20 years. Although some cheat after 10 years, because they are "feeling old" or are getting "up there in age", or "losing their looks". Well at 29, that wasn't Amber's reason for cheating on Jason with Chad.

Not his best a bit to far fetched for me

That was, is a good story, nicely put down nice characters without BTB take on a cheat,

Very good story. It was a pleasure to read an LW breakup story without all the torturous legalese wrangling BS and the accompanying poverty it naturally caused. Heck, this must be a fairy tale. 😁

Thanks for a very nice tale, m&m. 5⭐️s.

Zee and Jay? how about Zack instead? Good story and perfect 9:30 meeting. clothes removal with parents help. Awesome idea with the roses.

Very good story. Loved using roses in that way.

It was a pleasure to read. Nice flow and good dialog.

Love this story.

Just like Mariela from 'Getting Lucky', Zoey is the type of woman you hang on to and never let go.

@dirtyoldbiman, Zee was Jason's daughter. Jay was the son. Most Zack's I know aren't girls. Actually, none of them are...

Most cheating is at 2 years and then 5 to 7 based on whether wife or husband. Menopause cheating is much lower, but grey divorces are way up, nearly 2-fold in last 40 years. Supposedly those are worse than a spouse dying in terms of psychological damage. Most of those are.not due to adultery despite LW tropes, though some may have past adultery as a trigger.

One of the best explanations as to why a relationship couldn’t can’t continue after infidelity.

From the story:

“If you think about it long enough it makes sense. I'm still the Jason she fell in love with and married. The Amber I fell in love with and married is dead and gone. This Amber can never take her place.” Perfection. 4/5 BRB

Excellent story. Very well developed. As Billy Ray Ban commented, you summed up the reason I could never reconcile with a cheating spouse. I was also struck by your conclusion that both of them met their personal goals. Well done.

I really enjoyed this story. From the husband’s discovery of Amber’s affair to his reaction, the tension created was immediate and relentless. Amber’s despair as she reaped the whirlwind was palpable. She bounced from pillar to post like a pinball. “My car’s been stolen!” “No, I had it towed.” Sphincter says “what”? Undeniably busted! This whole tale was uniquely satisfying. Please crack on.