by Lumus
I don't think this was badly written, though you might have done more describing of her feelings--particularly her sexual response--to all of this. It ends up reading more clinical than erotic, I think, as it stands. Beyond that, as others have said, it seems like anything that ends with the protagonist's death needs to go into erotic horror or people get their panties in a bunch, but whatever. They can't all be about sparkly vampires, right? ;)
this story should have been listed in erotic horror or even non-erotic.
title ,boo. subject fowl,ppl stupid, plot crazy, JUST PLIAN FUCKED UP SHIT
What the fuck? When exactly did she fuck? That was horrendous. I want my five minutes back.
Dude. What the fuck. That was just gross