by TerryGood
Seriously. You give a whole new meaning to "run-on sentences". Shorter sentences would make your story a LOT easier to read. And for the love of whatever you hold dear to your heart, don't be so stingy with commas.
Are you twelve or what?????? Your sentense constuction is terrible. Very hard to follow story with all the mistakes.
Consider the 2*'s a gift. Keep writing, but get a lot of help with proofing.
really. applaud the effort but damn
hard to read
implausible - so your MIL was 13 when she had your wife?
oh wait that could happen these days
whatever get an editor
You show some talent for story telling. Read some of the better authors, like 'alwayswantedto' for instance. (There are many others, he's just one of my favorites) Study their style and adapt yours. Keep writing.
In my opinion, people who write erotica don't have to be college graduates and be trained in writing. Sex and telling stories about sex is for all of us, and shouldn't be limited to trained writers. I like down and dirty sex and I enjoy hearing about it too. Hope the author continues writing with or without writing improvement. Author adds another welcome element to our community.
My mother-in-law and I always got along great. And yes I'm still part of the family.
My mother-in-law and I had this thing about looking at each other In the eyes. She was a beautiful Latina woman, around the age of 41 when I met her. About a year after my marriage the mother-in-law moved in with us so she could save some money and get her own place again. When my wife was not around or at work my mother-in-law would always come and sit on the couch and she would put her head on my lap or she would block me in the hallway, look at me and say where's my hug. I make sure that it was a full pressed body hug just let her know that I wanted to put out her fire. One night we were talking and the conversation got really good sexual in nature, she really had me going but my wife was already in bed. Early the next morning around 3:30 AM my wife went to work and as soon as I heard the car and drive down the street my bedroom door opens and it's my mother-in-law. I told her that I have a spot for her to come join me. She took off her T-shirt and lo and behold she had nothing on. I quickly removed my boxers and within 15 seconds I was on top of her pushing deep down inside her vagina. As I was slowly pumping on her she whispered in my ear; i've waited for this moment for two long years and now I have you my love. A few moments later she climaxed and then looked at me and said go for it, take it all for your self. I delivered a biggest heaping load of cum deep inside of her. Three times that day. So now let's fast-forward 11 years and to this day we still have moments together. Every time I had sex with her I always came and never missed a drop, all of it what inside of her. Sorry to say but she's better in bed than my wife. She never complains and she always cums. I have the best mother-in-law in the world who loves to take care of her boy. She's 52 now and still looks 33.
Super.
My lovely bride got so drunk on our wedding night that there was no point fucking her. Her mother said, to me "She can't take drink, but mark my word, she'll be taking stranger cock again within a few months" I then said, basically tongue in cheek, "I'll have to fuck you instead". "You're cheeky" she replied " you'll have to audition for the job" I then fucked her on the bed next to her comatose daughter. She was fully clothed, sans knickers, (I didn't get a trophy, she wasn't wearing any) so it was just skirt up, stick in cock, and ride for your life. Six months later, after I found that wifey WAS cheating, I have pimped her out to live on the earnings. Mother-in-Law now takes my cock most days.
I taught her mother and she's the one who told me to start training your wife. She says she should have had me break her in and start fucking her when she was twelve. (BTW: She cried her eyes out the first three times I fucked a load up into her but your wife has grown to love it in the ass.)
Maybe change the age of the mother, otherwise the Mom having your wife at thirteen is way off