All Comments on 'Fun and Games'

Just a few examples that distracted greatly from my enjoyment of your story.

I think you probably meant "mesmerized by" not "memorized by" when she first saw his "member".

"I smile spread over he face" ??? Maybe "A smile spread over his face"?

"his tick ridged member"? He had blood sucking insects on his penis?

Get someone else to read over your work and catch these things and your stories will be much better!

Masquerading in the wrong category. Shame on you.

Stacy knows how to manipulate guys. Sshe will have a lot more fun

Despite that, you had me going until the male on mail gay stuff. Major buzz kill.