All Comments on 'Fusty Musty'

From the first sentence I felt a cold-dead robot behind the text. Also all dialogues sounds very unreal. You should practice to make a story more lively, more vibrant. It means more READING before writing something. Or you could find some good editor who knows the stuff, who could teach you. Basically, you could do better with more dialogue. It creates "life" in text.

Oh, yea... You shouldn't use such text structure like in a first two sentences EVERYWHERE. Of course, it sounds scientific and unique and etc., but in reality such things make your text completely dead, which makes me dead, which makes your voting score dead.

Make it simple.

I really like this story. It is quirky and oddball and its "tone" fits it perfectly. I wouldn't want to read stories in this style very often, but don't enjoy Jackson Pollock paintings often either. You dared to bend the medium, and I commend the result.

In this short erotic yarn much is left to the readers imagination. Are the couple married? How old are they? What event is going on in the Main Street? Why did Frank spend all night talking about the genetic variations of Chooks? And, of course, we have the third character - Old Henry. I’m surprised that this author hasn’t gained more prominence on Lit as I love his work. 5 stars. Thanks for sharing.