All Comments on 'FWB Ch. 02: Kaylee'

You describe the sex and interaction in a really graphic and believable way, but you really need to work on your endings which just tail off in a very lame fashion. You need to finish with some sort of tantalising thought. I would have finished at "Outstanding," I said, taking her in my arms, "I know we've got a whole summer ahead of us but I don't want to waste a single moment of it." Leave 'em, hanging I say! This is a) a good way to end and b) leaves scope to add chapters later if you wish, whilst not leaving it incomplete. the last two paragraphs weaken an otherwise brilliant story. I only rated a 4 but easily would have done a 5 if finished like I suggest. Hope that helps.

Each starts, builds and wraps up in one page. You have lots of directions to go with this couple in future episodes. You can stay with the lifelong friends becoming just fuck buddies direction. Maybe they become deep friends whose timing never works out quite right so they marry others but their paths keep crossing resulting in intimacy at times when they need each other for emotional support or even secret insemination.