Galactic War Ch. 14

I wanted to die.

As if reading my mind he raised me by my throat, screams from somewhere were still loud but I was too lost in his gaze, too lost in my abhorrence.

Dark abyss of space waited me, cold embrace that never seemed to let go suddenly became warmer and warmer. I was heading someplace I hoped I would meet my beloved.

Something awoke me, pulling on my hands with force, not much force but enough that I could feel it, and for some reason I did not feel any threat from the entity that did that. I felt my eyes close and as I opened them I was blasted by morning light in the room.

Two small children knelt on the bed by my feet pulling my arms yelling. "Daddy! Daddy!"

Amusement flashed in their faces as they waited for my next action, I was strangely calm in this situation I appraised their age at 5 or 6 maybe little older but there was still that youthful innocence that should not know better and was excused from doing the right thing. Mischief was still considered a delight when talking to these bundles of joy. I felt immeasurable love, sense of pride and willingness to protect them from anything. Mere moments into my strange encounter I felt an arm grab me by the shoulder. Somehow I knew. But I needed to be sure. I turned my head to find Anna's face smiling broadly her head lying down on the pillow.

I stared at her beautiful big round eyes that seem to suck me in I leaned in and placed a kiss on her lips. Her mouth felt real, her breath was brushing past my face I heard smiles and giggles behind me as I did this, I ignored the kid's playful banter and focused on the scent that came to my nose. That was the scent of my woman, my girl, my Anna. The unmistakable aroma that I knew and loved, she was real, she was not ethereal in spiritual sense, she had her essence her being. I could feel her skin. The touch of her flesh.

"What's wrong darling?" After a minute of me cradling her neck and enjoying the scent I heard her question me.

"You seem uneasy, did you have a nightmare?" I heard her whisper to me, as a worried woman would do when her lover was in distress.

But I did not want to face the music, or reality in this case, my own senses were screaming that this was real. I might've had a vile nightmare and I was just a part of some disgusting night filled with adventure and terror, when all I was doing was sleeping in bed, safe and sound. But my mind, my soul knew that this was something different. I felt sickening feeling, a nausea that started in the pits of my stomach. Soon it traveled up my throat I thought I would vomit but instead heavy tears started to drop down my face. I cried for the first time.

The smell of my beloved just amplified the feelings, of loss, despair and the eventual demise of my life as I knew it, a stable future I was imagining for her and me.

Yet here she was. Mind, body and soul I attempted to stop crying but soon after felt her hand brush my hair as I remember Anna would usually do, that just sealed my fate and the last thing I remember before I surrendered to the dark embrace of sleep.

I felt something brush my arm. I was rested, my face wet with my tears my mind calm and ready for new day and what it might bring. But remembering is such sweet sorrow. My mind was in order finally for the first time, and I remembered everything about the 'nightmare'. Still with my eyes closed I heard for the first time a guttural voice just to my front.

"My love what's wrong? Open your eyes." This was not my Anna's voice but someone else, someone I did not know.

"Who are you?" I tried to vocalize but nothing escaped my lips.

I was a mute being, unable to produce any word or sound for some reason. I remember dying. Was that a problem? Did I die? As if reading my mind the impostor that I thought was Anna answered my question.

"Yes and no. Your body experienced death in a conventional way. But your soul is still alive and well." The voice paused.

"Well enough to produce a fantasy of this magnitude. I'm impressed with your mind. It's seems that you loved her greatly." I little pause before the voice continued as if waiting for my reaction.

"You had great plans for your life together. I probed through memories of your soul and it's extensive, to the point that I had to black out a very huge portion of it, the one you saw was the one I was very fond of."

I said nothing. I could not say anything. The only thought I projected was Anna, alive and well. I had my assumptions about the identity of this person but dreaded the thought of the time I would have to confirm it, she, or he giggled a bit as if reading my every thought. For several moments I relapsed back to the time with Anna and our time having sex, the entity picked up on my thoughts and smiled lightly but audibly.

"You loved her immensely, I can feel it in your sadness, dread and despair. Do not deny your past, it has happened and nothing can change it."

My hopes, my dreams were dashed out within few seconds and I was left in a bubble that made me feel nothing but empty sadness. I was missing a part of my body, hoping I could get it back, it would not be that way.

"Oh no, it's not for nothing. Even though your past was etched in time you still have hope."

As the entity spun in place, it hugged its body in delight almost purring out the words, "Ahh, such immense love. I have a proposition for you, dear."

As it said those words she, or it, stopped abruptly and gazed me in the eyes. Her own became a black vortex spinning slowly, like galaxy but without bright stars, there was only pitch black darkness. The spiral got darker the deeper it went. I gazed into the pit and found nothing. My mind had drifted inside the vortex spinning slowly. I found images of Anna. She was happy. Various pictures plowed out of to me, she was in different worlds at different situations, being a different person but still I felt it was her, the smile on my lips grew bit by bit the deeper I went.

The pit seemed endless as eons drifted by like seconds, I saw every instance of Anna's soul, her life, her trials and tribulations. A hand grabbed me out of this experience and next thing I know I was sitting on my knees, on the same bed, staring the same person in the eyes.

I remember the experience with Ra'Va and my apparent death, the entity just smiled, "It's relatively the same, only thing that it shows your own deepest desires, fears, and only for your mind that it may seem like the experience was really that long. You are very rare individual, many go crazy half way through."

"But more pressing matter is how do you feel this much love for someone you met moths, even few years ago. I can somehow understand the endless love a mother can have towards her child but this is beyond my understanding." I could see and feel the entity as she shook her head in disbelief.

A simple question slowly composed in the span of several second, "How can you love?!"

"Attraction of the mind or the body, a simple answer yet so complex." Entity still hung Anna's head while searching for the answer.

I would love to say something mind breaking, prophetic and something that would simply leave this being in awe, but I had no answer for that. I just loved with my entire being. Loved a person that deserved so much more and was no longer able to respond to my calls, forever lost in time and space. Forever etched in history as life cut horribly and terribly short.

"For what it's worth that is a good answer you just brooded over." Again reading my mind, soul and getting ahead of me while having a grin on Anna's face.

"Now on to that proposition. I will offer you endless riches."

Black ooze slowly formed where I stood and trickled down the bed towards the girls that sat quietly, submerging the room, soon it came to my eyes and all was dark and silent. I waited countless seconds, decades, and centuries for something to enter my vision. I wanted to pray for a trickle of light, anything I could focus my mind to and begin anew to focus on something else. Then Anna came right when I was in my deepest darkest hour, calling yelling out for anyone but unable to produce anything, not even a whisper. A vivid illusion only I could see.

She drifted towards me, cupping my head with her arms, slowly making me rest on her breasts. I could feel hear chest rise, her heartbeat and I could tell how warm she was, while tears slowly formed. She raised my head gently and we locked eyes, God's those piercing eyes. I felt gentle nudge on my soul, pushing me away. But I held firm. I did not move. Nudges became thrusts that suddenly escaladed to one final mighty punch to the chest.

Light!

As I opening my eyes I found myself in a room, sitting on a chair. The room was yellow, furnished with various statues and pictures, a large light that hung from strange glass like material. Slightest noise would vibrate of it and make incredible soothing sounds that would calm ones soul. The ground had carpets from various animals, complex weave that mesmerized the soul on which stood several guards, two abreast, dipped in silver armor, wearing guns on their hips and what it seemed rifles behind their backs mounted on their holsters.

A man standing next to me clapped his hand, as if following that mark many incredible beauties approached middle of the room, kneeling on the floor waiting for their orders.

Door further in the back opened with a loud noise, Anna's body flowed inside, wearing a white gown. As if floating on air itself she walked near my throne and bowed her head. I noticed from the start her pitch black eyes. Not hiding my disappointment I raised my eyebrow.

As if waiting that que she lifted her arms, "You like the throne of the Emperor of the Gal Federation? Every beauty at your beck and fucking call. They'll mate, fuck, rut or have pure sex with your soul. Many women here were thought the art of pleasuring a male. Just say the word."

"Why not let me die and get it over with?" I lost my will to fight.

I no longer wish to play this game. As if reading my mind the entity smiled, "I find you interesting, as I said before your soul did not die. Nobody dies. They just continue on their merry way energy transferred into another vessel. Moving it, powering every move it can make. I hindered your process of moving on, I want you."

The entity leaned in as if trying to kiss me, which I declined with my entire body and soul. Well the boy I currently owned anyway. Anna's body suddenly released a mass of energy at the nearby column of guards and threw them across the room like they were toys. She was apparently mad.

"You keep using her image. To torment me?" My voice shook with emotion.

"Maybe, maybe not." A grin appeared on Anna's face making it seem more devious and ungodly.

"Why are you making me suffer like this?" Again I was on verge of an emotional outburst.

"I want your help, the entity you saw should have never existed. If it's released on the universe in its condition it will go on a rampage, growing stronger with each kill making it unstoppable. He already is godlike being. But if it reaches a minor planet and eradicates the populace it will be Armageddon on galactic scale."

"Why show me all of this?" I moved my hand to show that I meant the room we were in.

"Another of my whims. Some call us Devil, some call us God. But we are ancient beyond your intellectual capacity. We've lived through countless universes. And we've found ways to jump from one place to another." Entity went on.

I did not care about the god stuff. It was a turf not frequently treaded by yours truly. Once upon a time when my family was well I believed there was a higher power. I even thought there was something planed for each and every one of us. How things have changed.

I needed God right now. I wanted Him to be real, not some scientific being that was 'just too much for our intellect to handle', I wanted Him to be sail down on angels' wings and give me back my beloved. But every second that passed there was a wound to my soul. A gentle cut with a knife that would resonate through my being and remind me 'IT'S NOT REAL'.

Like a chicken without its head I was flapping my metaphorical wings and running around in circles looking for an answer that would sate my broken soul. But the only answer that would come to my mind was the entity beside me.

Like it new my inner struggle the person within Anna smiled and raised his arms, creating a vortex, from which started to appear a human figure. Countless, endless possibilities came through my mind but none would be satiated. I knew the person that was about to be created, I wanted it to be true. Anna's body started to form, all of the features I already knew and loved. For a mere second I saw what the person behind Anna's body looked like, an ambiguous visage between all humans. No facial features to tell me that it belonged to one or the other race designation but I saw it I was sure that the person inside had a wide smile.

Arms, legs, torso; going through my mind's checklist I recognized everything in its place. I slowly and gently cupped her head and lowered her newly created body to the floor. Her warm flesh leaving marks on my skin that I so dearly missed. Like a missing piece of puzzle I felt something fit into place, and while stroking her hair I started to weep. Holding her dearly my soul wept, I was crying tears of joy. Slowly she opened her eyes and I saw her trying to focus her gaze. Slowly, she noticed who was on the other end and tasted my lips. A slow, deliberate kiss that reminded me that this was real. Even though I saw her die, she was here. She was physical. No longer an idea, nor memory that I dearly remembered few moments ago. She was real.

A snap of the fingers woke me and she disappeared taking the puzzle piece with her. I started to look at this joker that wanted to play with my feelings.

"Not yet. Soon."

"Now for the part of the deal where I tell you what I want." It took the vacant emperor seat and crossing his legs he looked me dead in the eyes.

"I want you to remember that feeling, it is so important when you start to do my bidding."

"What do you want from me?" I cried and again asked.

Soldiers were puppets, blind to our own conversation. Entity took one of the fruits from the plate, a plum, chucking it into his mouth and taking his time to finish eating it, finally after he swallowed everything he spat the seed at one of the soldiers. The plum's seed bounced of his helmet with a loud noise, he was still acting like a puppet not noticing what had just happened.

"After we are done here, I want you to defeat that abomination. I want you to take its' heart and burn it. Without it, it can no longer be reborn again. After that I will give you what you want."

"Why don't you do it?" I asked on my knees.

"I saw what he did to you, and call it a whim of mine, I want to help you in my own way. Time is irrelevant to Us, but for the sake of comedy I'll act like it's something important. And I'll give you 4 days to do it."

"What? You think this is funny?" I almost yelled.

"It's hilarious. I just do not know how to laugh. One time I pranked a civilization, they called it 'Cold War' I rang few phones painted in different colors and the world went to shit because of it. Don't you think it's amusing seeing all these people, particularly humans, fighting over land like it's something important?"

I was silently watching the entity smile wide. "I thought...."

"Let me stop you right there, I'm giving the almighty monologue here, and you are the impartial listener that just plays along. Just sit there, or kneel, in your case, and I'll tell you what you need to do."

"Life and death is irrelevant. The only thing that is important is US. We are the ones that create, decide and eventually tell you WHEN you die. No we are not GODS. We're so much more. A God is not real. We are. What you perceive as magic, some see it as science, some even acts of God, but to US they are as easy as breathing is to you."

I was not confused I knew what he had said, god did not exist.

"Oh you are so wrong my child. For we have created god. We have created you. We just do not like to be called like we are the one aspiring to become deity of bunch of low races that can't even quantify what reality even is. God is everywhere you want it to be."

"Can I really see her again?" A question I was so afraid of asking finally slipped my lips.

"Death is a funny thing. We made conscious beings in mind that they one day tried to pacify and grab it by the throat. But sadly in many, many worlds, galaxies and universes they are so quick to stop their search that it's downright depressing."

"As I said, death is only the beginning of your journey. I presented you her current lives, in countless similar scenarios. Thing might look hard to you but it's easy as walking for me."

Standing up suddenly and clapping his hands the room, world whatever you might call it, vanished and we were surrounded by space itself. What amazing power.

He sighed depressingly. "It's not POWER. I'm not a magician. Well not one that you might think. I will now return you to the place where you 'died'." He used air quotes.

I smiled thinking of his mannerisms like some weird TV persona trying to emulate everything he wanted so it would sell more easily to all of the droolies that might watch his programs. "Once you are there you are to fight. With all your power."

I blinked.

I was in the same room. Where I ... where Anna breathed her last gasp of air on my lips. I saw a black silhouette move towards a point in the room, standing silently, mouth agape, Saar was standing waiting for her own demise. I did not spend much time on my back, as the entity made me sure that it thought I was dead. Grabbing a surgical knife of the table, never noticing medical instruments that were scattered across the room's floor.

Silently.

Moving forward one step at a time. I noticed his breaths, my training kicked in and I was in heartbeat like a tiger grabbing it's pray behind him, stabbing him behind his head. As if someone pushed a switch he was bucking violently while I used my other arm, which was positioned in front of his neck, stabbing him countless times with my other hand, right where the vertebrae is or should be.

The entity was certainly humanoid I guessed in matter of seconds while grabbing the knife I found that he 'should' have human weaknesses. A mute fight were the only sounds were coming from my body. Grunts, heaves and sighs. He slumped on the floor after expelling blood all over me; it took little over 5 seconds to put him down.

Now it was the time for its heart. I was on my kneed in no time, stabbing the surgical knife right where his heart was; entity never said about the heart being intact. I could not care about the details. I gazed down the open wound looking at something that reminded of a heart but no longer taking shape of what I hoped heart would look like. Especially human one. Finally the answer for all of my woes was in my hand, still warm in my hands, I managed to argue with myself about this action. My moral code that my father and countless other role models told me never to do I killed with a reason. I was a soldier. Morality was something that we push back in certain occasions. This was one of them, a necessity that needed to happen for greater good.

My greater good. My happiness and sanity will be finally where they belong, with me.

Stunned Saar was gazing at my bloodied hands like they offered some sort revelation. A light started to emit from the body of deceased being. I did not even try to be sad. This was necessary.

I blinked.

Again after opening my eyes I was surrounded by darkness. I could not see my hands, feet, not even my body. But I could hear claps coming, getting louder by every passing second. Slowly light materialized. I could see someone approaching, while my eyes adjusted to new visual stimulation. I could no longer feel heart in my hands.