- NonConsent/Reluctance
- Game Change!
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It was only daring the last year of college that Lassie Williams truly be became what she was always meant to be, my girlfriend and partner. I first saw Lassie freshmen year in the local park. She was without a doubt a site to see. Her legs where perfectly toned and firm, her chest flat and smooth, her eyes and hair as dark as the night sky. Lassie became from that moment on the object of my desire.
It's hard to believe that just a few years ago she hated me with such a passion. Lassie had always been a stubborn girl, one who rarely dated, rarely socialized, and rarely spoke to me of all people. I was back then the most popular and desirable guy around. Not only did I play for the schools basketball team, but I had won three championships in a row. Every girl wanted to be with me, I had it all, the car, the muscles, the status, the attitude. Girls wanted to be with me and guys wanted to be me, but not Lassie, she was different.
She at one time hated all sports. Every time I began to brag about my record, she would instantly blow me off. She said she did not like sports and thought of all athletes as total uncultured idiots. Boy has time changed sense she made that remark. I always thought Lassie would be perfect as a Cheerleader. She had the body and she had the drive. Sadly she did not have the interest before that night, the night I had to take matters into my own hands and force Lassie to embrace her full potential.
After some years I tired over her constant rejection, and intended to put an end to it. I knew she always jogged home every afternoon around five. I would wait for her and meet her as she crossed through the park. This time of day the area was relatively empty. I hid in a small patch of weeds beside the trail as she approached. Lassie moved in such an elegant way, everything about her was perfect, and she must be mine. Eventually, she stopped along the trail to take a breath, I new this was the time to reveal my self.
Slowly I emerged from the bushes, Lassie instantly spotted me and shot me a not so pleasant glare. I though only smiled back, for I was very happy to see her, more then anyone knew.
"What do you wont Brian; I have no time for games today I'm afraid." I continued to walk towards her, unfazed by the remark just made. She will be mine!
"I just want to know why you blow me off all the time. Every girl around here likes me and would give anything to be with me. I have been with every girl I have desired except you Lassie, Id like to know why?" Lassie paused before responding.
"Your vanity is exactly why. Just listen to yourself Brian? You think you are such hot stuff, but really you're just another jock on an ego trip." Lassie attempted to move past me, but was blocked by my all powerful body.
"Move please!" she said with frustration. I just smiled back.
"Not until you say it."
"Say what may I ask?" I smiled still.
"Say Fuck. You're the only person on campus that I have never herd swear. Do it for me." Lassie laughed in response.
"I will never do anything so degrading, especially for you!" Lassie attempted to move passed again, but this time was grabbed by my all powerful arms in mid motion.
"Let me go pig!" she shouted.
"I will, in the morning!" with those last words, I forced Lassie in the bushes of which I once hid. She attempted to hit me with her fist but was stopped by my forceful grip. I pinned her to the ground in a flash as she kicked in squirmed.
"What are you doing?" she asked, fear now flowing through
her voice.
"Teaching you a lessen you'll never forget." Lassie tried to rise but the weight of me was too much for her small frame. She then attempted to scream but her voice was silenced by my embracing of her lips. I could feel her sweat against my chest as I undid my pants. Lassie was now at the mercy of my body, by big strong body. She struggled to break away from the kiss but my grip was just too strong for her to repeal. At the same time I unhooked her bra, and began to squeeze her breast tightly.
I herd a slight moan of discomfort as I did so escape her lovely lips. It was fairly simple for me to undo her panties and look upon what I had so wished to see for many of a year. I then released my lips from hers, Lassie began to paint uncontrollably. She was by far to out of breath to scream for the moment, but it was too late any how, for my inner being had met hers.
With all the power left within me, I began to thrust inside Lassie with much strength and steadiness. Lassies eyes bulged in response, for she had never felt the likes before. Her breathing quickened as my pace quickened. I knew she was without a doubt aroused; I just had to push a little bit further.
"Oh God please stop!" she shouted, but I pounded on through, ignoring all pleas for help. I could see the struggle upon Lassies face, resistance mixed in with pleasure. She fought to resist me, fought to resist the urges she was feeling, but her body would not allow that, it wanted me inside it, she wanted me inside her. Slowly, small moans began to escape her lips. Lassie was giving in. I continued to thrust like the animal I was out into her. Over time juices where produced from Lassies gentles. I almost had her!
"Oh!" This sound was music to my ears; Lassie was painting, was moaning, and was beginning to meat my thrusts.
"Brian what's going on? ah!!!!!!?" She was now nearly mine. Drool began to fall from her lips, she yearned for me, and she wanted me.
"Oh fu!!!!!" she nearly was there, she wanted to say it, she needed to say it. I saw the last peace of will Lassie had erased from her face. Her body loosened, her face transcended from one of fear and anger, to one of pleasure.
"Oh fuck! Oh shit! What is happening to me?" she exclaimed, lost in the fuck of her life. never had Lassie imagined herself saying such words, but her body was calling for it, it was making changes to her very thoughts and state of mind. The pleasure consumed Lassie! Her very being was touched by my knowledge of what a woman wants.
"I can't fight it anymore! Fuck me Brian! Make me your bitch!" I knew I had won then. With much force I did as my love requested and gave her the pleasure she so well deserved.
"You Damn jocks, you never give up do ya!"
"Not for a minute darlin!" I shouted.
"Yawl ain't as bad as I thought ya where, ah!" with that I climaxed, followed by an ear blistering moan from the girl I had conquered.
"Oh my fuckin God!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Lassies juices splattered in every direction. Within moments I was sucking up what was left of it. It took us a few moments to calm, but after words I helped Lassie to her feet. She said nothing as I took her to my car. The drive was silent at first, but luckily Lassie had the courage to speak out.
"You do realize Brian that this changes things. I have only been with a few men in my life and none of them felt like you tonight. I have come to a decision in result."
"And what is that?" I asked with a smile.
"I know you have wanted me to join the cheerleading squad for sometime now. Well Ill do it if it makes you happy. I have always been a big sports fan anyway. I was just too afraid to admit it to myself because I was studying law and had no time for such things, but that's different now. I'm ready to be what my body says I should be. Ill be your girl as well as be part of the sports realm. Ill let loose and start partying like a college girl. Ill be what you and others have wanted me to be, and with this body how can I deny them, id never be taken seriously in law anyway." Lassie laughed. That night Lassie Williams became what I hoped she would for so long.
She played on the cheerleading team the following year before gradation. Afterwards she was accepted to the Dallas cowboys while I was accepted into the Miami heat. We dated for five years before splitting. Lassie went through a true transformation. Her hair tuned a honey blonde over the years; I suppose do to all her time out in the sun. She married four times as well. First to a member of the Dallas cowboys, Jim tailors, Then to the couch of the Oklahoma team, Then to a member of the heat, and finally to a popcorn seller. Don't ask me why she would do such a thing. As for me well, I enjoy the single life.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousalmost 12 years ago...you survived repeated attacks by the dreaded "Mordacious Troll"!
Read "The Troll Hunter" by SweetWitch to see what I mean.
http://www.literotica.com/s/the-troll-hunter
Unknown365almost 12 years agoAuthorThat means you made most of the negative and positive comments. It truly baffles me that you would go though such lengths just to convince one writer? You must have a lot of free time on your hands. again i commend you though. This game you have been playing sounds like something i would do. once i posted a question on ask.com. then went in using another user name and answered my own question. you have been doing something similar. I still wonder though why it would matter to you so much? Again though game well played!
Unknown365almost 12 years agoAuthorThis comment is being addressed to the last one that was made. You like me over think things. I commend you for paying close attention to my activity's of late. If anything my stories have gotten a reaction out of you. some reactions negative, others positive. I am also a student of history, and know exactly what you mean by your references to Hitler and Stalin. Yes they were both cruel and unreasonable men of power but their believes were strong however wrong they might have been.
You and i also hold strong believes. while you hold much craft, i hold much willingness. the willingness to carry on to spite what some might think. The first two tales displayed were written while i was in a quite arousing state. all i could think about was the story and not the details or the technique of it. i posted those because i thought them worthless, but then when people started jumping on my back about it, i became very upset. so i wrote the other two tales so i could prove to all that i was a good writer and not an illiterate.
I commend you again for paying so close attention. I do hope to hear from you again, you could even be my personal editor lol. Anyway, your comment will not be removed. i am a reasonable person. your criticism was just and fair and for that i applaud. so take care!
Anonymousalmost 12 years ago- Hitler was in control, until he killed himself after losing a five-plus year world war.
- Stalin was in control, until he was poisoned by one of his lackeys (who feared both being purged, and Stalin's plans after acquiring the H-bomb).
- George "W" was in control, until he had to leave office because of term limits.
All of them limited public expression that disagreed with their 'party line'. All of them used the political, legislative, and judicial processes to promote their agendas, and the wealth and power of their cronies. All of them caused massive human suffering, and left legacies that take generations to recover from.
You're already limiting expression: "...negative feedback will be deleted without exception...". If all you want is the company of like-minded people (Hitler with Goebbels and Goering?), or simply the admiration of sycophants (Bush with his Texas business acquaintances and Cheney?), have your way; you'll succeed for a while, and then fail spectacularly.
If you want to improve, then find the people who AREN'T afraid to criticize (e.g. "Your shit stinks!"), AND will make recommendations (e.g. "Lay off the beans/booze/drugs, and add some veggies and maybe yogurt!"). DON'T rail against the nay-sayers, or go out of your way to engage them; you're just beginning to figure out that makes things worse. Instead, separate out the emotion (hate? envy? something else?), and discern the motivation (getting picked on [by someone dumber/smarter] as a kid? getting beat by a dad for talking funny? getting F's on compositions because the teacher never explained things?).
When you can get past your offence you feel from a 'purely' negative comment, you'll have taken the first step. The second step is described in the paragraph above; use your imagination to go to as many extremes of motivation (positive and negative) as you can; the reward is a vastly huge perception of different POVs.The third step, immerse yourself in that different POV to the point where you can see yourself through it, 'warts and all'. Then you'll be on the cusp of literature; if you can describe yourself as someone else sees you, to the point where people are surprised at your perception. When people come to you for advice to resolve their problems, then you'll have made it.
To build on an earlier analogy, when you get to the point when you can sharpen your chisel to its sharpest point without thinking about it ('in your sleep'), then you start shaping stone; then you start the task of learning how to shape stone to match the vision in your head. Translation: when you get to the point that your finished draft, when run through a spell-checker, and past an editor, and it comes up with NO spelling/grammar errors, you will have perfected your craft. Then you'll have a leg up on perfecting your prose, your literary voice. When you can make people feel, see, sense what you want them to, and without them realizing it, you'll have made it.
Yes, I've looked at your off-Lit work that you mentioned, and at your latest (07/02/12) submission; both are much better. Why you didn't take the care to apply the same standard to your first two submissions is a mystery to me. Consider pulling your first two stories (one at a time, of course), going over them for spelling, grammar, and context, and then resubmitting them (either with their original titles, or new ones). See if that makes a difference.
I AM the one who posted:
PAIN
"PAIN" + "Let me make this clear" + "so what"
"Do not bother...If i even sense that the comment is negative..."
but did you even imagine that I posted:
Did anyone notice?
No, I didn't post 'all' the negative comments.
So why was I so ...
[the best description uses 'ten-dollar' words]
... harsh?
Part of it was the bed spelling, improper word usage, poor grammar.
Part of it was 'mob mentality' -- one piranha in a school, scenting blood.
Part of it was the shocked disbelief that something so poorly written, posted.
Part of it was the conviction that *I* could do better, showing it by commenting.
Part of it was my weekend bender [BTW, drunk and never ran spell-check; how'd I do it? Do you ask yourself: was it training, experience, talent, skill, oppression, survival, or something else?]
Part of it... is something deep, that I'm not going to express.
So what now? Some thoughts:
-- If you're going to DELETE comments, don't then RESPOND to them in the comments; it makes you sound like a fool to reference something that isn't there. I mean, out of the 11 comments under "Game Change", 6 are from you (3 of those refer to deleted comments). If you respond to comments, keep the original; if you delete the original, delete your response.
-- Use the "Some words from..." option in your bio to make policy statements ("negative comments..."), tell us about your outside work ("go to this site and you will find the full of extend of my writing capability's"), and/or what you plan (e.g. 'next up' or 'watch for' or 'I plan')
-- Take your own advice ("lets calm down ")
MOVING ON:
I have been your nemesis. Take the time to Google the word. Look at MANY and DIFFERENT definitions of the word. Look it up in Wikipedia. Look it up in Greek mythology. Look up its etymology. Consider why humans millennia ago invented the word, and the concept. Make notes, and consider the word.
Think about it: look at how you felt in the last few days, how you responded, how you thought. Did it make you better? As a writer? As a person? Are you proud of who you are? Were? Will be? Did you find shame or embarrassment in your responses? If so, why? If not, why not? And the same questions for the other emotions: anger, rage, confusion, disinterest, frustration, hate, love (yes, love: how can you have one extreme without the existence of the other?), understanding, revelation, enlightenment.
I was your nemesis because I FORCED you to face your deficits, acknowledge them, and START dealing with them. I did that tenaciously. I did that using more than one voice, more than one way of speaking, more than one method of presentation. [And to your credit, you as much as admitted that it worked.]
As MY nemesis, YOU unknowingly forced my to look at myself: what extreme(s) I have gone to, could go to, and refused to go to. And the conviction that I should have done better, but I don't know how.
[...]
I'm just about done; after posting this, I'm walking away. Doesn't matter if you delete this and nobody else sees it, I've written this for an audience of one: you, "Unknown365". Or you can leave it posted, and crow over your ...victory.
And aren't we an ironic pair? Because being "Unknown" is little different from being "Anonymous", and you and I are such opposites: my 'craft' vs your struggle with it; I've never published or posted vs you've done both (in more than one venue); your willingness to take words ['comments'] over-seriously vs my willingness make comments ['words'] serve a higher purpose.
You and I have contested as opponents, but we could have been friends [IRL}: we both face a lot of criticism that is unwarranted, we're both trying to be better than we currently are, and we're both trying to (seemingly thanklessly) contribute. Our rage is the same, but aimed at different targets.
[...]
LEARN from this.
[...]
Good-bye, good luck, we never shall meet again.
Unknown365almost 12 years agoAuthorWell i think it is immature to vote negative on a writers work just because he deleted your all so powerful comment. If you dont like it dont read it. If i dont like something i never send negative feedback. i have learned over the years that it doesn't matter because no one is going to listen to you. And why do i get the feeling that it is always the same group of people commenting out of thousands?
Why dont you give it a rest for a while. like i said negative feedback will be deleted without exception. it is not that i am completely against that sort of feedback, it is just that i have herd quite enough of it. i am aware of the problems with this story and fully understand where you are coming from, but enough is enough.
My latest story is quite different from the last two and has been carefully examined. So i have taken your advice under consideration but i do not wish to hear any more of that kind of advice. it is out run its usefulness as it were. So gentlemen lets calm down here. lets just respect one another and move on. this story was only meant to be sexy in an outrageous way. take it for what is. and remember, i am in control over all comments.
Unknown365almost 12 years agoAuthorIf you make a negative comment from now on it will likely be deleted. If i even sense that the comment is negative i will remove it without thought or question. i do welcome positive feedback. if you have some constructive criticism i will listen, but if i receive no positive feedback along with the criticism i will take the comment off.
Anonymousalmost 12 years agoAll these guys slamming the writer down used weird shit in their comments? All those square brackets? And dots? And plus signs? What do they mean? I don't see that crap in newspapers, or magazines, or books. They got everything spelled right, but is what they're doing right? I mean, for grammar? And they're slamming you down?
They're stylin' on your style?
Unknown365, just keep goin' man. Let 'em talk; like that one Anon said, he's a drunk and no author, and you're writing. Keep on writing for the rest of us.
Anonymousalmost 12 years agoUnknown don't worry about what people say. I enjoyed both of your stories. I got past the grammar, because it wasn't hard to figure out. So tell them to kick rocks.
