All Comments on 'Game Change!'

Unknown don't worry about what people say. I enjoyed both of your stories. I got past the grammar, because it wasn't hard to figure out. So tell them to kick rocks.

All these guys slamming the writer down used weird shit in their comments? All those square brackets? And dots? And plus signs? What do they mean? I don't see that crap in newspapers, or magazines, or books. They got everything spelled right, but is what they're doing right? I mean, for grammar? And they're slamming you down?

They're stylin' on your style?

Unknown365, just keep goin' man. Let 'em talk; like that one Anon said, he's a drunk and no author, and you're writing. Keep on writing for the rest of us.

If you make a negative comment from now on it will likely be deleted. If i even sense that the comment is negative i will remove it without thought or question. i do welcome positive feedback. if you have some constructive criticism i will listen, but if i receive no positive feedback along with the criticism i will take the comment off.

Well i think it is immature to vote negative on a writers work just because he deleted your all so powerful comment. If you dont like it dont read it. If i dont like something i never send negative feedback. i have learned over the years that it doesn't matter because no one is going to listen to you. And why do i get the feeling that it is always the same group of people commenting out of thousands?

Why dont you give it a rest for a while. like i said negative feedback will be deleted without exception. it is not that i am completely against that sort of feedback, it is just that i have herd quite enough of it. i am aware of the problems with this story and fully understand where you are coming from, but enough is enough.

My latest story is quite different from the last two and has been carefully examined. So i have taken your advice under consideration but i do not wish to hear any more of that kind of advice. it is out run its usefulness as it were. So gentlemen lets calm down here. lets just respect one another and move on. this story was only meant to be sexy in an outrageous way. take it for what is. and remember, i am in control over all comments.

- Hitler was in control, until he killed himself after losing a five-plus year world war.

- Stalin was in control, until he was poisoned by one of his lackeys (who feared both being purged, and Stalin's plans after acquiring the H-bomb).

- George "W" was in control, until he had to leave office because of term limits.

All of them limited public expression that disagreed with their 'party line'. All of them used the political, legislative, and judicial processes to promote their agendas, and the wealth and power of their cronies. All of them caused massive human suffering, and left legacies that take generations to recover from.

You're already limiting expression: "...negative feedback will be deleted without exception...". If all you want is the company of like-minded people (Hitler with Goebbels and Goering?), or simply the admiration of sycophants (Bush with his Texas business acquaintances and Cheney?), have your way; you'll succeed for a while, and then fail spectacularly.

If you want to improve, then find the people who AREN'T afraid to criticize (e.g. "Your shit stinks!"), AND will make recommendations (e.g. "Lay off the beans/booze/drugs, and add some veggies and maybe yogurt!"). DON'T rail against the nay-sayers, or go out of your way to engage them; you're just beginning to figure out that makes things worse. Instead, separate out the emotion (hate? envy? something else?), and discern the motivation (getting picked on [by someone dumber/smarter] as a kid? getting beat by a dad for talking funny? getting F's on compositions because the teacher never explained things?).

When you can get past your offence you feel from a 'purely' negative comment, you'll have taken the first step. The second step is described in the paragraph above; use your imagination to go to as many extremes of motivation (positive and negative) as you can; the reward is a vastly huge perception of different POVs.The third step, immerse yourself in that different POV to the point where you can see yourself through it, 'warts and all'. Then you'll be on the cusp of literature; if you can describe yourself as someone else sees you, to the point where people are surprised at your perception. When people come to you for advice to resolve their problems, then you'll have made it.

To build on an earlier analogy, when you get to the point when you can sharpen your chisel to its sharpest point without thinking about it ('in your sleep'), then you start shaping stone; then you start the task of learning how to shape stone to match the vision in your head. Translation: when you get to the point that your finished draft, when run through a spell-checker, and past an editor, and it comes up with NO spelling/grammar errors, you will have perfected your craft. Then you'll have a leg up on perfecting your prose, your literary voice. When you can make people feel, see, sense what you want them to, and without them realizing it, you'll have made it.

Yes, I've looked at your off-Lit work that you mentioned, and at your latest (07/02/12) submission; both are much better. Why you didn't take the care to apply the same standard to your first two submissions is a mystery to me. Consider pulling your first two stories (one at a time, of course), going over them for spelling, grammar, and context, and then resubmitting them (either with their original titles, or new ones). See if that makes a difference.

I AM the one who posted:

PAIN

"PAIN" + "Let me make this clear" + "so what"

"Do not bother...If i even sense that the comment is negative..."

but did you even imagine that I posted:

Did anyone notice?

No, I didn't post 'all' the negative comments.

So why was I so ...

[the best description uses 'ten-dollar' words]

... harsh?

Part of it was the bed spelling, improper word usage, poor grammar.

Part of it was 'mob mentality' -- one piranha in a school, scenting blood.

Part of it was the shocked disbelief that something so poorly written, posted.

Part of it was the conviction that *I* could do better, showing it by commenting.

Part of it was my weekend bender [BTW, drunk and never ran spell-check; how'd I do it? Do you ask yourself: was it training, experience, talent, skill, oppression, survival, or something else?]

Part of it... is something deep, that I'm not going to express.

So what now? Some thoughts:

-- If you're going to DELETE comments, don't then RESPOND to them in the comments; it makes you sound like a fool to reference something that isn't there. I mean, out of the 11 comments under "Game Change", 6 are from you (3 of those refer to deleted comments). If you respond to comments, keep the original; if you delete the original, delete your response.

-- Use the "Some words from..." option in your bio to make policy statements ("negative comments..."), tell us about your outside work ("go to this site and you will find the full of extend of my writing capability's"), and/or what you plan (e.g. 'next up' or 'watch for' or 'I plan')

-- Take your own advice ("lets calm down ")

MOVING ON:

I have been your nemesis. Take the time to Google the word. Look at MANY and DIFFERENT definitions of the word. Look it up in Wikipedia. Look it up in Greek mythology. Look up its etymology. Consider why humans millennia ago invented the word, and the concept. Make notes, and consider the word.

Think about it: look at how you felt in the last few days, how you responded, how you thought. Did it make you better? As a writer? As a person? Are you proud of who you are? Were? Will be? Did you find shame or embarrassment in your responses? If so, why? If not, why not? And the same questions for the other emotions: anger, rage, confusion, disinterest, frustration, hate, love (yes, love: how can you have one extreme without the existence of the other?), understanding, revelation, enlightenment.

I was your nemesis because I FORCED you to face your deficits, acknowledge them, and START dealing with them. I did that tenaciously. I did that using more than one voice, more than one way of speaking, more than one method of presentation. [And to your credit, you as much as admitted that it worked.]

As MY nemesis, YOU unknowingly forced my to look at myself: what extreme(s) I have gone to, could go to, and refused to go to. And the conviction that I should have done better, but I don't know how.

[...]

I'm just about done; after posting this, I'm walking away. Doesn't matter if you delete this and nobody else sees it, I've written this for an audience of one: you, "Unknown365". Or you can leave it posted, and crow over your ...victory.

And aren't we an ironic pair? Because being "Unknown" is little different from being "Anonymous", and you and I are such opposites: my 'craft' vs your struggle with it; I've never published or posted vs you've done both (in more than one venue); your willingness to take words ['comments'] over-seriously vs my willingness make comments ['words'] serve a higher purpose.

You and I have contested as opponents, but we could have been friends [IRL}: we both face a lot of criticism that is unwarranted, we're both trying to be better than we currently are, and we're both trying to (seemingly thanklessly) contribute. Our rage is the same, but aimed at different targets.

[...]

LEARN from this.

[...]

Good-bye, good luck, we never shall meet again.

This comment is being addressed to the last one that was made. You like me over think things. I commend you for paying close attention to my activity's of late. If anything my stories have gotten a reaction out of you. some reactions negative, others positive. I am also a student of history, and know exactly what you mean by your references to Hitler and Stalin. Yes they were both cruel and unreasonable men of power but their believes were strong however wrong they might have been.

You and i also hold strong believes. while you hold much craft, i hold much willingness. the willingness to carry on to spite what some might think. The first two tales displayed were written while i was in a quite arousing state. all i could think about was the story and not the details or the technique of it. i posted those because i thought them worthless, but then when people started jumping on my back about it, i became very upset. so i wrote the other two tales so i could prove to all that i was a good writer and not an illiterate.

I commend you again for paying so close attention. I do hope to hear from you again, you could even be my personal editor lol. Anyway, your comment will not be removed. i am a reasonable person. your criticism was just and fair and for that i applaud. so take care!

That means you made most of the negative and positive comments. It truly baffles me that you would go though such lengths just to convince one writer? You must have a lot of free time on your hands. again i commend you though. This game you have been playing sounds like something i would do. once i posted a question on ask.com. then went in using another user name and answered my own question. you have been doing something similar. I still wonder though why it would matter to you so much? Again though game well played!

...you survived repeated attacks by the dreaded "Mordacious Troll"!

Read "The Troll Hunter" by SweetWitch to see what I mean.

http://www.literotica.com/s/the-troll-hunter

This is a rape and is totally inappropriate

Ur a fuckin weirdo dude