All Comments on 'Game Night Pt. 04'

H ow much longer is this going to take? The cute things from the first chapter that were erotic and hot are now boring. Im only scanning through most if it for some semblance of an ending now. The random cock piercing is still random and not only completely unnecessary storywise it detracts and disturbs the story flow. You gave no real reason as to why he even has it and adding one now is way too late dince you should have given us insight into his personality as to why he wanted one. Otherwise why are you writing about it? Also if owen and sam were off somewhere else you did a poor job separating the scenes happening elsewhere. Add some extra spaces to let us know its going back and forth between different rooms. This was 5 star level in the first two chapters and digressed to 2 or 1 star now. Had such high hopes for this too.

Dont listen to the anonymous below your keep writing like this i love long stories and can't wait for the next. And the anon obviously haven't been paying attention since the piercing has been in from the start. And to the anon he has the piercing to stimulate a girls g spot. And its easy to know when it changes scene since the names change not that hard.

Love this series so far. I can't wait to read the next chapter and hopefully the many more that follow. Great job.

I'm waiting until the girls have him do a game of slut roulette, where he jams his cock into each of their mouths, pussies and then assholes until he explodes cum into one of their fuck holes. However, he still has yet to fuck Rachel and there are anal virginities yet to be taken and assholes that need to be stretched before any such game could happen.

I love this story. Keep them coming.

I need more more and more. Thank you

I need more. Please. This is the best story I've read on here.

Very HOT! Great series but a few problems for me. First the good.

1) Great descriptive writing.

2) Hot dialog and great sex scenes.

3) Believable characters.

The problems for me were mostly in Ch 4. If this were a mystery, it would have worked great. But this is a sex story. Just as I'm following one thread of Owen and Samantha, you switch to Kat and Rachel. Here I am fapping away only to have you switch gears and bring me down. Each story line was hot but moving from one to another when the crescendo was imminent was less than satisfying.

I lost a sense of realism with all the "I love" Owen talk. Girls, especially young girls don't share so willingly, especially men. Jealousy is the rule, not the exception. Only once was jealousy even brought up.

Overall, great series and very hot! Thank you.

Really great! Just fabulous

I don't comment much but I can honestly say I couldn't stop reading! Wish their were a few more chapters!

Thank you

Grizz

I love this story, but the waterworks totally turned me off! It's just not my cup of tea!

So, I have completely loved Chapters 1 through 3, and will be if I haven't already voting for 5's in those chapters. I gave this chapter a 4. It is still written well, though needs a run through editing wise. The reason for me is that this chapter was pretty much all about the sex between Rachel, Jessica, and Sarah; and the sex between Owen and Samantha. In the other chapters the sex portions were broken up quite nicely with tidbits of their past that lead to them all wanting to do this with Owen. You had Kat accidentally wetting herself on the field trip, Samantha's first few weeks at her new school, Jessica's party incident and her bully triumph. Those were keyed in so well that it broke up the constant sex, and this chapter was missing that in my opinion, though it did segue a little, just not enough in my opinion.

I'm just a little disappointed by the fact that Owen told Samantha he loved her, like she was the most special of all of them. I thought that honor should have gone to Kat. She loved him the longest, and all of their encounters seemed pretty damn intense. I know this is a harem and everyone loves each other, but I think Kat should be getting more brotherly love, ya know?

I for one enjoyed this one slightly more than Ch.3, if only because sex in a secluded groups is more believable that the previous fantasies, and we finally got some individual preferences - Jessica knew Sarah's body better than anyone else and Kat only trusted Rachel with watersports. A spark the other pairs didn't have. That's what makes this story.

Oh and Owen and Sam confessed undying love. But that spark fizzled, because 10 minutes later his dick was up Sarah - that's how much that confession is worth. Gotta tick Sarah's checkbox, right? Only Rachel's checkbox remaining, right? And that is what breaks this story.

I just can't get over the ridiculousness of the harem concept.

don't think I shall last till the end.....

Really love how the story is going. I actually didn't start at the first chapter, wanting to get into it to see if I thought I would enjoy it, hehe. Overall it's pretty good though!

A few bumps here and there that I rolled my eyes at though... I don't have a problem with him being able to keep getting it up and going and going and... Hehe, hell at that age I could get it up and keep it up as many times and for as long as I wanted, all damned day and night! Really. It's my body that would wear out first, lol. A decent bit of 'you'reon top this time!' is necessary! ...but this dude cumming, I mean come ON! Nobody shoots a gallon of cum every time he blows all day long!!

Then some of the way the sex with the virgins was described makes it sound like someone doesn't know where the hymen actually is. ...and I get how he's sensitive, paying attention to their needs, but at least one scene I just wanted to tell him to shut up and fuck the woman! Let's have a fun parody here...

You're shaking, are you ok?

I'm fine.

We don't have to do this right now.

No, it's ok, I'm fine, just nervous, really.

Are you sure?

Yes, I'm sure, I want you!

Because if you aren't sure..

No, I'm sure, I want you. To fuck me. Right now.

Ok, but if it hurts, or you change your mind..

Look dude, if you don't shut the fuck up and shove that big dick in my little virgin pussy, tear my hymen to shreads and fuck me senseless, right now, I'm going to wrap my robe sash around your cock and balls so tight that it swells up twice as big, tie it off in a knot, chop it clean off your body and use it as my personal dildo. Get it?

Umm, yes ma'am. Starting the fucking now!!

Good boy.

Lol.

This is a great experience. That you for scribing this. As much as Owen is too good to be true; any male reader wants to be him. All around must read, for any erotica fan.